John’s heart thumps. He feels a little dizzy and very tired.

Do normal people ever get into situations like this? What is he supposed to do or say? He has met the first person outside Ma and Jetta to be kind to him, and has his oddness already ruined it? Should he have let Black Jack keep believing he was a girl and they could’ve parted on the morrow still friends? Why had it been so important that this stranger recognised who John truly was?

Finally, it’s Jack who breaks the silence.

He balances the cap back on John’s head at an angle. ‘Forgive me, coz. But you must understand my confusion. Surely you’re used to people commenting on your prettiness?’

John shrugs trying to look as natural as possible. ‘Yes. People have oft … oft said things like that to me.’ It isn’t a total lie. People have said things about his appearance all his life. Things he hope Jack will never say to him.

 ‘Starving Robert mistook you for my mort, my woman.’ Black Jack puts his hands behind his neck and leans back, tipping John a wink. ‘And I was heartily flattered. Now I know you are just a poor country boy…’ He smiles in a way that made his cheeks seem rounder and his whole face younger. ‘… Ah, well, I am still heartily flattered. Even if you do see faeries.’

‘I’m not, I told you, I didn’t, I don’t…’ John protests.

‘Right you did. My mistake.’ Jack passes him a handful of strawberries that John hasn’t even seen him pick up. ‘Normally I savour them one by one, but they’re best if you have them all together.’

‘I know how to eat.’

‘You didn’t know what oysters were.’

‘You probably don’t know… what… what… something I know lots about is.’

Black Jack chuckles. ‘Aye, I don’t, and I heartily look forward to you teaching me.’

‘Black Jack?’

‘John?’ The boy lounges back on his elbows again.

‘You’re not disappointed… I mean, you do believe I am a boy?’

Black Jack’s face moves through several smiles: first a slight slant on the right side, then a definite slant on the left, a small glimpse of his front teeth, then his mouth open wide enough to reveal a crooked tooth on his lower jaw. How could anyone be so happy that they needed to possess more than one smile?

‘If you tell me you want me to believe something, I’ll believe it.’

John leans forward, his hands clasped. ‘Perhaps… Starving Robert mistook me for a woman because I was with you? You’re… very much a boy, and perhaps that makes me look more like… what I’m not.’

‘If you want to be something, be it, do not fret over what others are thinking.’ Jack breaks the pie into pieces; he does not seem able to stay still for a moment.

‘But how can you be… something… if other people don’t recognise you’re… something? Don’t you just end up being nothing?’ John stares down at his hands, playing over each other. He doesn’t understand his own question.

Black Jack hands John the largest part of the pie. ‘I don’t think that can be true, Fair John. If we were made by what others thought I’d be a very different person from the one sitting beside you right now.’

The hobgoblin grins widely, rubbing its belly and pointing to the pie. John breaks off a piece of crust and puts it down on the floor. He listens to Black Jack’s lilting words and tries to work out what it all meant.

‘I think we truly exist in the places other people can’t see, such as in the best memories stored in our heads, or the dreams in our hearts.’ He flashes John his brightest smile. ‘Why, listen to me! Normally all my talk is about coin and hardship, who’s in gaol, who’s set for the pigeon-holes, who’s ended up hanging from the chats.’ He moves the dishes about and angles his body so that his arm is a feather away from John’s.

John glances down to where they are almost touching. ‘I don’t think I can explain my dreams. But I am liking being here safe with you better than many of my memories.’

Black Jack finishes his ale. ‘We are in harmony, are we not? Though my dream is easy enough to explain, unlike yours. But I keep it close to my heart and tell none, because the telling would ruin it.’

John yearns to hear Jack’s dream. But the other boy looked almost sad, suddenly.

John braves reaching out and touches his hand.

Black Jack’s face immediately transforms into a bright smile. ‘All my talk has tired you. Let’s get ourselves more comfortable for the night.’