Since I had the time, I searched the castle for a place that might have information about who I was. To my surprise, the Van Doren library was close to where I had been staying. Silently, I slipped into the cavernous, dim room. 

As I closed the door and took a few steps into the library, I sensed someone behind me and spun around just in time to catch a stick before it hit me. My eyebrows came together in confusion as I determined it was an old walking stick. 

What the hell?

"Quite the fast reflexes you have there. Almost reminds me of the late Van Doren heir. Oh, same clothes, too!" an ancient sage with dark skin spoke through the shadows to me, only a few candlesticks lighting up the place. When he referred to Vanessa's brother, I could tell it wasn't out of fondness. 

"I'm no Van Doren, old man. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got something I need to do," I replied, dropping the cane on the ground before him. 

I'm in no mood to deal with this.

The old man clicked his tongue, and I sent him an impatient glare. "Now, now, this library is under my control. Whoever wants to touch a page of these books needs to go through me first!" he explained, "I doubt you can read Old Umbrian if you're not a Van Doren, eh? You'll need my help for whatever it is you're so eager to learn." 

He had a point — I couldn't read Old Umbrian. As far as I knew, I could only read books written in the common tongue.

Looks like I have to deal with this regardless of whether I'm in the mood to or not.

"Fine. Can you point me toward the books that might match this symbol? I only have ten minutes," I frowned, holding out my necklace as far as it would go. 

"That impatience of yours may be the death of you, mark my words…" he warned, but I ignored him. He sighed and leaned forward, taking a pair of spectacles from his blood-red robes and placing them on his nose. "I can't see a bloody thing," he concluded, and I grabbed a candlestick nearby to illuminate the pendant.

"Ah… That's better…" he hummed. After taking a moment to study my necklace, he shook his head. "I'm not familiar with these."

"Seriously? Well, this was a waste of time," I growled as I turned to leave, but the sage stopped me with his walking stick.

The old man grinned and made that clicking noise with his tongue, "I said I didn't know these symbols myself, but I never said I don't know who might."

With those words, he piqued my interest again.

"Who is it, then?"

The scholar chuckled, "Oh, I can't say for certain, but a certain sage in Radia may know a thing or two. The largest library in Esoterra, the Phos Library, is in Radia's capital, Adustio. My only child is a sage who studies ancient languages and relics like yours in the Phos Library. If you seek them out, you may be in luck. My darling child's name is Ismene, but I warn you against being insolent with them — they don't have as much patience for such things as I." 

I sighed. This old man wasn't useless— he ended up giving me a good lead. I hadn't considered Radia, the territory of knowledge and learning, and it would be an excellent source to learn more about my past. So why did I still feel so agitated? 

Is irritability just a normal thing for me? Perhaps it stems from the fact I don't even know myself. How can I interact with others successfully if I don't know who I am?

"My boy, you should probably leave for Lady Vanessa's homecoming celebration now to make it on time. As the guest of honor, it must thrill you to go, yes?" his dark eyes glimmered in the candlelight. Despite my bad attitude, he helped me. He meant no harm. I knew this.

"Yeah, I know, I..." I shook my head, "Thanks for the tip, and... Sorry. For being so touchy. I can't even tell you why I act like this."

The sage's wrinkled visage softened, and he placed a hand on my shoulder. "I'm unaware of your situation, but it appears that you are going through a hard time. All of us have times when we're not at our best."

"Maybe that's true, but I don't even know what my best is, and I think that's the root of it all." I couldn't believe I was pouring my heart out to the library sage, but something in his face said I could trust him. "I... Woke up only a few weeks ago in the desert, and I have no memory of who I used to be. How am I supposed to go through anything without knowing who I am?"

For a moment, the elderly man pondered my words before replying, "That certainly is a predicament you've found yourself in. But... At the risk of sounding terribly cliché, life is about discovering yourself little by little. Maybe you're behind some of us from not knowing who you used to be, but we're all on the same journey to find who we are. Even after all these years, I still walk that path, and I suspect I will until I die." 

From the start, I had known he was a sage, but the older man's wisdom went far beyond book smarts. What he said made sense. It was easy for me to be impatient with discovering who I was, but every day I'd learn something new. Hopefully.

"I think I understand, but... I can't help but feel this sense of urgency, like there's something vital I need to remember about my past."

"Then do what you can to find out, as you are now. If you visit my child Ismene, they will understand what being lost feels like. They were born a man yet never felt like one, and after many years of strife and toil, they realized they were neither a man nor a woman. Just themself— Ismene." The sage gave me a kind smile while I processed the story about Ismene. Perhaps going to the Phos Library to see them would be the best course of action in more ways than one. 

I guess that solves the question of where I should go from here. 

"Thanks. I guess I need to find myself just like Ismene did." I sighed, then added quietly, "And you, what's your name?"

The man's smile widened, radiating warmth. "My name is Magnus. It's been a pleasure to meet you, my boy." 

I couldn't help as a slight smile of my own formed on my lips. "Likewise. Thanks for your assistance. I'll be visiting Ismene soon, I think."