“It doesn’t matter, I’ll be home tomorrow. Goodnight Danny.” He hung up the phone and glared at the blond. “What the hell?”

“Sorry, couldn’t help myself there. You wouldn’t feel too great about your sex partner losing his hard on over another guy either.”

He let out another deep breath and leaned back. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I get it. Currently, I have my own issues.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I stay here with my co-worker. We had a fling but he doesn’t want a relationship, still can’t get over his high school crush I guess.”

“Figures, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I’m going to go. It’s clear this isn’t going to happen tonight.”

“Okay.”

He put his clothes back on, his ass still damp with lube. It was extremely uncomfortable walking like that, but he’d just shower when he got home. As he was finishing up, he heard steps and the door slam open. Startled, he looked sideways at someone he never expected to see ever again.

Doug, who was drunk, looked like he was one angry pissed off lover. He glared at him and then turned his hostility towards the blond next to him.

“This is how you try to get my attention?” he accused.

“Wow, I’m sorry,” Jason threw his hands up and backed up. The action made Doug eye him suspiciously. “If I knew he was with you, I would have never let him bring me back here.”

Did this guy know who he was? Was he just played? Still, Doug didn’t seem mad at him at all. No, his anger was clearly directed at the blond.

“You know who he is, and you brought him back here just to piss me off. Didn’t you?”

The blond shrugged and offered a card to Jason, putting it in his pocket. “If you ever still want to hook up, just call me,” he winked. There were no words to describe how he felt in that moment.

“I’m going to go,” he motioned, heading towards the door.

“Jason,” Doug called. He hesitated before the doorway, waiting for him to say something.

“It’s good to see you, try to take care of yourself okay? Don’t let assholes like this sweep you up? You know where to find me now if you need me.”

He didn’t reply, noticing the diminishing look on the blond’s face. One sided relationships were tough. “You know, he isn’t that bad. He had no intention of having sex with me tonight. In fact, he took every opportunity to stop it from happening. So, maybe you should reconsider being with him. I know if my crush was so desperate for my attention to do something like this, that would send me a clear signal.”

The surprised look on Doug’s face made him smile. He knew when Doug was in a losing battle, he had always had this certain look to his face. He walked from the apartment and went home. The whole time, he was trying to come to terms with the fact that every time he tried to lose his virginity, shit like this happened. Was it really this hard just to get laid once? This was a whole new perspective on the 30 year old virgin.

It was close to two in the morning when he walked into the house. He expected Danny to be asleep, but he wasn’t. He was sitting at the kitchen table, a glass of whiskey on the table.

“I thought you weren’t coming back?” he asked.

He eyed him, there was something off about him tonight. Was he drunk? It didn’t look like he had taken a single sip though, just swirled it around in the cup like an afterthought.

“Yeah, me to.”

He started walking towards his room when Danny’s hard voice made him halt.

“Why?”

“Does it matter why?” He heard the glass slam onto the table and flinched at the sound.

“Yes, it matters!” he yelled.

He gritted his teeth, finally getting up the courage to end things once and for all. He turned on him, staring his angry expression down.

“I came back because I couldn’t get hard, you killed the mood when you called! Do you have any idea how hard it is to just get up the courage to go out and do these things? I’m totally deprived right now!”

Danny stared at him, not responding. He felt like his teeth were going to break from all the pressure.

“Then, of all people, Doug showed up. I can’t sleep with another man’s guy, that’s beneath my standards.”

Danny faltered, showing concern because it wasn’t hard to piece what had happened together. Jason had been played, quite well, and was feeling like shit even more because of it. He walked back towards his room, stopping before shutting it.

“I think it’s time for me to move out, I’ll have my things packed by the end of the week.”

He slammed the door shut and headed to his bed. He started to pull his clothes off, trying to focus on getting himself clean, when he heard the door open. He turned, only to find a very scary face in front of him. He swallowed, not sure how to react to the angry Danny before him.

“I’m done waiting for you.”

What? What was he talking about?

“I have been patient, trying to respect your space for years. Every time I think I’m getting somewhere with you, you pull away. I don’t know what your hiding or why, but I don’t fucking care anymore.”

“What?”

Danny reached for him, grabbing him by the loose part of his shirt and dragging him close. He was so surprised, he didn’t know how to react as Danny forcibly kissed him. The act made his lips quiver as his arm pulled him closer into an embrace. His tongue wanted entrance, and due to his lesser state of mind, he let it in.

He felt the passion overwhelm him as they slid their tongues together. Danny pulled away slightly and nipped at his lower lip, kissing it as he undid his shirt completely. What was he doing right now? He was being stupid, that was what he was doing. He was letting Danny rope him back in again after he had made a firm decision to end whatever this was they had between them.

Danny’s breath against his skin sent shivers through him, but he had no energy or willpower to push him away. Seriously, what was he doing right now? He couldn’t say no to him, no matter how hard he tried, and let his arms fall upon his shoulders. He leaned into him as their clothes came off and he pushed him back onto the bed.

“From now on, you will come to me when you need help with your needs.”

His gentle kisses along his thighs made his body shake with anticipation. His eyes narrowed at a mark left on his chest. He suddenly bit into the under part of his thigh and he let out a struggled moan. He didn’t mean to, but he did. Danny held his gaze, need striking deep within him.

“Not only did this guy mark you, but you let him touch you down here too?” he asked.

His body jerked at his sudden touch to his ass. It felt different when Danny was touching there, why did it feel so different?

“It seems he prepped you quite well, you’re still wet. Are you sure you didn’t have sex with him?”

He nodded, unable to let out a response as Danny’s fingers entered him. The angle was just right and he felt himself getting close. He had gotten hard the moment Danny had reached for a part of him down there. His other hand on his member sent a tingling sensation through him that he couldn’t quite register. As his hand jerked him off and his other fingers toyed with his hole, he couldn’t help but let out loud moans of pleasure. This encouraged Danny’s response until Jason came.

He then positioned himself and slowly pushed inside him. Jason let out a scream as Danny grabbed his hips and held them, pulling him towards him. It hurt, but he felt relief more than anything. After all these years, he finally knew the feeling of having him deep inside himself.

He wrapped his arms around his neck and held onto his shoulders as Danny began to move. His breathing was ragged, unable to keep in his own pleasure as he thrust. “Damn it Jason, you’re so tight, I think I might come right now.”

“I don’t care.” The words left his mouth before he could register what he was saying. He felt so into the moment, he wasn’t registering much. Danny’s grip on him tightened, and he could feel his dick getting harder inside. There was no doubt he was about to come inside him, but he really didn’t care. He never thought this moment would have been possible in the first place. What was he thinking, giving either of them false hope?

They didn’t stop until almost morning. After Danny had his fill in bed, he took him again in the shower as he helped clean up. It was like they were both possessed by their greed for each other. Since it was the weekend, the act of taking him whenever and wherever he wanted continued. Even while eating, it was like Danny was hungry for him just as much as he was.

When Monday rolled around, he stared at Danny as he slept next to him. They hadn’t talked much, they had basically only ate, slept, and fucked all weekend. He wondered what was going through that thick head of his. He eyed the clock, knowing he had a doctor’s appointment later that morning.

Jason got up, making breakfast for him, leaving a note describing where he was going adjacent to the plate. He needed a walk to clear his head first. He needed to process what had just happened, so he turned his phone off. Later on, he sat in a daze as the doctor showed him the results of his latest test.

“Jason?”

His attention snapped up. “Yeah, sorry.”

“You seem distracted today, everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just have a lot on my mind. You were saying?”

The doctor explained to him that the cancer had spread to his lungs and kidney a while ago, explaining why his lungs often felt like the wind had been knocked from them. He further explained that he had already put him on the donor list as well, since he had already signed off on the form long ago in case something like this had happened.

“So, what’s it looking like?”

“Well, I have good and bad news.”

“Bad news first.”

“The surgery only has about 15% chance of working for you, if we find a proper donor. There is no guarantee that you would live even through surgery.”

“Good news?”

“We found a donor, just got notice this past hour. So it’s up to you to decide.”

“Doc, you know my insurance doesn’t cover this.”

“I know, but you’re on the list and you have a right to it.” He looked down at his feet.

“How long will I survive without the surgery?”

“Five weeks at best. To be honest, I have no idea how you’re walking right now.”

He nodded, soaking it in. His time had come and he needed to make peace with it.

“Jason, I think you should tell your roommate now. I know how much you care about Danny, you talk about him every time you’re here for counseling.”

“And tell him what?”

“The truth. You told your father, why can’t you tell him?”

“He’s more important to me.”

“I know, which is why you should tell him. Having that extra support really helps when going into a big surgery like this. A person’s mentality really matters.”

“I’m not doing it, so it doesn’t matter.”

“Okay,” he responded, a sadness in his eyes. “If you change your mind, you have a 12 hour window.”

He walked around aimlessly for the rest of the day, wondering what he was even doing with himself. He went to his bank and checked his balance, knowing he had enough for his funeral now. He wanted to hold onto hope, but that hope was so small. Was it worth it?

If he died anyway, he would become a burden to Danny who was the only one left on his form to come claim him. Should he add his Dad now that he knew? Or should he just let his body wash away in a river so there wouldn’t have to be a body to bury? Was he being too selfish? He knew funerals were expensive and costly.

He wandered home, not finding Danny there. He assumed he had gone to work and started to prepare dinner. As he set the table, Danny came walking in. He set down his bag without saying anything and took his coat off. Should he break the ice?

“How did the hospital visit go?” Jason smiled slightly, grateful he had broken the silence first.

“The usual, nothing new.”

He sat down and they ate slowly, Danny offering him extra as he poured his glass. When they were done, he helped Jason do the dishes. It was like any other day, except there was the fact they had slept together lingering in the air. He dried his hands, ready to head to bed. It was at this moment that Danny spoke, the words making his heart throb in his chest.

“Stay here with me, don’t ever leave.”

Jason couldn’t believe what he just heard coming from Danny’s mouth. Was this really happening right now?

“I’m sorry, c-could you repeat that?” Danny’s face turned pink in embarrassment.

“I said, I thought about it. I don’t want you to move out, I want you to permanently stay here with me. After this weekend, I thought you would change your mind.” Was he imaging this?

“But that would be weird, right?” he joked, not even making it sound like a joke.

Danny stared at him seriously. “That’s why I want to date you.” What now?

“No, that isn’t it…” He paused and rubbed the back of his head as he thought more.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

He felt something inside his chest flutter away from his brain. He just stared at Danny, unable to say anything.

“If you don’t feel the same way, I will try to understand. I just feel like we have a connection with each other and we have since we met.” He continued to stare, like he had ceased to function.

“Jason, say something. You’re starting to freak me out,” he admitted.

He opened his mouth to say something and then shut it. Then he remembered what the doctor had said earlier that morning. Here he was, all his money saved up for his funeral, and this idiot had to go and say something to change his mind, again.

A sudden smile lit up his face as he looked at Danny with the most loving expression he had ever seen in his life. It startled Danny, unsure what to make of it. Danny thought he had actually broke him for a moment.

“Can I think about it?” Jason asked.

“O-oh, yeah, of course.”

His smile widened, Jason couldn’t believe he was about to do something so reckless and stupid. All for a slim chance like the one he had just gotten. He grabbed his coat and slipped it on, making his way out the door.

“Where are you going?” Danny asked, completely confused.

“I have to go out. Make sure you get some sleep okay?”

He gave Danny an expression he had never seen before, one that scared him because it made him think he was never going to see him again.