“Not interested” apparently now meant “I’m interested” because, by the next day, Mam had found someone for me and I was now stuck with him as we walked downtown. The man’s name was Finn. Finn O’Brien. Yes, my Mam really did this to me. She wanted me to give Hazel’s brother a try so I could forever torture myself with her beauty if we did marry. I could see it now. Me trying to spend more time with Hazel at every event, ignoring Finn. Attempting to use makeup to mask the amount of blush that would be on my cheeks while I was around her, especially at the wedding. Dying inside every time I remembered I was with Hazel’s brother instead of her- This was going to be my life. Pure torture, that’s what it was.
Finn was a pretty nice guy. Despite my lack of interest, we were able to talk like friends. It almost felt like there was a lack of interest on his end too, which I found surprising. From how Mam described him, he seemed very interested. The guy was quite good-looking and attractive, plus he came from a good and wealthy family. Problem was… he just wasn’t attractive to me. I could definitely see us being friends, but there was nothing there romantically.
Being with him nearly caused me an entire identity crisis. Women were supposed to like men! Most girls around me were clearly fawning over this man, but I couldn’t even force myself to show a quarter of the same amount of attraction to him. Now for a woman? I would fall head over heels for a woman with looks like Hazel. And Ciara? Oh gosh. She was beautiful inside and out. But I always put it down to Ciara and me being good friends. As for Hazel, I figured she was just that beautiful. This had to be normal for women, right? But what if it wasn’t? What if there was something wrong with me?
“Well, it’s getting late.” Finn sighed. “Do you want me to walk you home?”
“I don’t mind.” I shrugged.
“It’s getting dark out, so I might as well. I would hate to see someone like you getting hurt.”
“Such a gentleman, you are.” I giggled. “I did have a good time with you today.”
“I did as well.” He nodded. “We oughta spend another day out together!”
“Oh, uh… I don’t know…” I mumbled, thinking he was interested in a relationship. I didn’t want to lead him on and give him the wrong idea. “I’m not really interested romantically…”
“Oh! I meant as friends. I’m not either. No offence.”
“You’re not?”
He shook his head. “No. My parents forced me to come. I’m not interested in a wife.”
“Guess we’re in the same boat, huh?”
“Your parents are forcing you to look for someone too?”
“Aye.” I nodded. “Apparently being not interested now means I’m interested.”
“Parents logic.” He chuckled. “If only they knew I don’t like women.”
“Hm?”
“I like men.” He clarified. “I know that means being alone for my life because it’s not accepted, but I can’t help it. I just don’t feel anything for women, but for men…? Oh boy.”
It clicked. Everything fell into place at that very moment. Those weird feelings I had for Hazel and Ciara? Those were romantic, not platonic. All this time, I had been crushing on Ciara. As for Hazel, she was just super attractive to me. I loved women.
Coming to that realisation, I paused. Finn stopped walking and looked back at me. I looked like something had turned off in my brain, but it was more like a switch had been flipped on.
“Bailey?”
I looked at him with a surprised expression for a moment before smiling and laughing a bit. “Funny you should say that. I’m the opposite.”
“Yeah?”
“I think I like women.” I giggled. Although I knew being open about that to others wasn’t something I would ever be able to do, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I knew what was going on and that there were other people like me out there. There was just something comforting about that.
That night, I got home feeling happy and refreshed. So much so that my parents noticed it.
“Had a good time, I take it?” Dad smiled as I came into the kitchen to grab some water. “You look really happy.”
“I did.” I nodded, reaching into the cupboard for a cup.
“Oh, careful, Bailey-” Mam started to say right as I grabbed a cup. I wasn’t paying attention and grabbed one of the glass ones. For some dumb reason, I could never handle glass cups. The texture or something threw me off. Immediately, I pulled back, almost knocking down the other cups. Thankfully, I saved them before I caused a big mess. “-I just reorganised the cups. The ones you like are in the other cupboard.”
“Ah. Thanks.” I nodded, not letting the close disaster ruin my mood. Happily, I opened the other cupboard and got a cup that didn’t make touching it uncomfortable.
“Soooo.” Rian came in with a grin. “How did it goooo?”
“Went good!” I smiled. “We enjoyed the day together, and plan to do it again sometime!”
“That’s good!” Mam’s face lit up from the good news. “See? You just had to try!”
“Now when are the grandkids coming?” Dad joked.
“Grandkids?” I looked at him with a giggle. “Oh, you misunderstand. We agreed we make better friends than lovers.”
“Eh?” Dad gave me a look. “Surely there’s more to it than that.”
“Exactly,” Mam said. “I’ve never seen you so happy after being with a guy all day like this.”
“Oi, I’m right here.” Rian raised a brow. We did spend entire days together if we could.
“I enjoy my time with you, don’t worry.” I laughed. “I guess my time with Finn let me come to some realisations. It’s let a lot of weight fall off my shoulders.”
Before they could question it further, I skipped up to my room and shared my happiness with my many plants by humming softly while giving them a generous share of water.
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