Noah exhales. “Oh, thank the Goddess.”

He wraps bulky arms around me, pressing my forehead to his thumping heart. I can’t believe this. His heartbeat says this is just as beautifully overwhelming for him, but I don’t get the sense it’s for the possibility of sex. Noah strokes my hair until my breathing slows.

Trauma roadblocks my freedom to trust, so I’m not used to experiencing instant attraction. But pressing against Noah like this stirs sensations I can’t deny.

I shift my feet as a flash of heat pulses through my groin, trying to stifle my arousal. But the second I do so, Noah’s eyes zip to mine. They’re heavy-lidded, and I can guess he feels similarly by the bulge emerging against my stomach. 

I would’ve had sex with him in the forest - right then and there. I think he would’ve too. But his eyes aren’t hunting for sex as we gaze at each other. They’re relishing in me.  

His wide thumbpad moves from stroking my hair to petting my cheek, pausing beside my lips. His cheeks burn bright red, but his stoic expression tells me he wants me. Especially as his eyes dart to my lips.

My lips part on their own, desperate to taste his. And I want him to know it. 

Noah sucks in a surprised breath as my hand raises toward his neck. I wait for him to pull away, but he freezes, waiting despite his heart pounding against my ear. 

But his eyes widen. “Wait.”

I freeze. “Did you not like it before?”

“N-no, I… I did.” He can’t bear to hold eye contact. “But I have to know if you realize what you’re doing so I know this is what you want.”

My heart pounds into my ears. Did I break some sort of wolf code? 

His golden cheeks wash in red as he stares at my neck. I’m itching for him to touch me there, but he points to his neck instead. 

“This is a scent gland.” His fingertips trail his neck, just behind his jugular vein. Goosebumps erupt down my torso just watching him, but they double when I’m hit with a fresh wave of his scent. My limbs loosen, allowing him to hold even more of my weight against his chest. 

Wait, his scent meant to soothe me, didn’t it? 

I’m still reeling with delicious relaxation when Noah says something I don’t expect. 

“It feels good because… B-because mates bite each other there, leaving a scarred mark to seal their bond.”

His voice softens by the end until he’s barely audible. But I heard him, latching onto every word. As the gravity of that scent gland sinks in, my body ignites with a hungry yearning, begging me to touch that place on his neck even more.

“So when I touch there, that tells you I want to feel bonded with you?” I whisper. 

He bites his lips, nervous eyes glancing between mine. “Y-yes. But it's a bit deeper than feeling bonded. Mate bonds are tangible. You’ll feel me, I’ll feel you… Kind of like sewing our souls together. B-but - um - for life.”

I’ve never made any lifetime commitments to anyone.

But the urge in me screams, This is what I've always wanted.

If I went back in time and sat beside myself in Jenny’s office a couple hours ago, I’d never believe I’d fall for someone tonight. But me, considering committing myself to Noah, for life? Something has to be wrong with me.

But I have to be dreaming anyway, right? What if - just this time - I let myself chase my deepest desires? Followed them, instead of pushing them away to make others happy?

I lift my hand again, awaiting Noah’s permission to touch that luscious gland on his neck. His breath picks up, but as he stares into my eyes, he lifts the corner of his jaw. My heart skips. He’s certain about allowing me to do this. Bonding with me.

I trace a gentle line down the sensitive gland. Staring at him, I hope he can feel it. How risky this is for me to free my heart.

Noah's eyelashes flutter in delight, which gives me butterflies. My cheek rises with his chest as he draws a slow, heavy inhale, indulging in every second of my touch. But before the third time I can stroke him there, he moves in.

Noah's hand scoops behind my neck, drawing my lips into a deep kiss. The inhale I have to suck in to stay upright is more like a gasp. A flurry of electricity shoots from his warm palm behind my head, all the way to my toes. I grip fistfuls of his stretched shirt, and Noah tilts his head to kiss me deeper, his lips’ full weight sending my heart close to bursting. A small moan escapes me, and Noah pulls back to look me in the eyes.

His pupils are huge, and his cheeks are flushed. What do I look like right now? I’m so turned on that I probably wouldn’t recognize myself.

But I want Noah. My mate.

I lean in to kiss him again, and Noah pulls me in tighter - squeezing our bodies flush as he kisses me back. My hips press against his thigh on instinct, eager for pressure, and Noah rasps through a tight breath.

He snaps back. His eyes are wilder than his hair, tracing my body in his arms. “Y-you smell too good. We have to go inside.”

“W-wait, what—?”

Noah pulls me inside after him, dropping his broad back against the creaky cottage door to close it. I struggle to catch my breath from pure overwhelm, gazing into the eyes of the most beautiful man I’ve ever met.

But Noah doesn’t seem to want to continue kissing, drawing me to his chest much gentler this time.

“You still seem nervous,” he says.

It’s true. Even if I'm 29, I haven’t been this intimate with a stranger. I've always been embarrassed about it. I feel like it makes me seem immature when really, I'm scared of being hurt again if I sleep with someone on day one.

But should I be even more vulnerable with him and tell him that?

“I’m sorry, I’m just a bit cautious…” My stomach churns with worry, but the concern in Noah’s eyes makes me whisper the truth. “About being hurt again. And it's nothing about you, it's just - when you see a pattern in life, it's dangerous not to pay attention. At least, that's what I've learned. A-and I didn’t know if we’d…”

I glance toward my bedroom, swallowing hard.

Noah’s breath is just as short as mine, his sharp eyes zipping back to mine after catching on the bra I left on the hallway floor. “Don’t apologize. You’re my mate. I don’t want to do anything you’re not interested in.”

My heart twinges. “I am interested, I’m just anxious.”

Noah is silent for a moment. “I’m anxious too.”

I feel like he wants to tell me more.

I guide him to my couch by the hand. Three steps in, I trip over my scrapbooking mess from the night before, ready to meet my doom as the coffee table’s glass top inches closer by the millisecond. Noah tucks me to his side like it’s the easiest thing he’s done all night, righting me on my feet with one arm. I flush, but then I see his shy, quick glance and my embarrassment washes away.

He’s so damn cute. I’m dying to reassure him. 

“Is there something we’re doing that’s making you anxious?”

Already sitting, Noah gazes up at me as I say those words. It has a heavy effect on him, his face reddening by the second.

A smile peeks from his stoic lips. “I want to tell you more, but… Please, come sit with me.”

He’s right. I’m hesitating, unsure how close he’ll want me to sit beside him, and hovering my butt over the cushions. I’m relieved to see his amused smile and break into giggles.

When his arm wraps around me from behind, tucking me into his side, I burst into laughter, huddling closer. Noah squeezes me tighter, and I welcome his embrace as I lay against his chest. 

His poor heart is still pounding. At least I’m not alone.

Noah clears his throat. “It’s just… Wolves are all instinct, but I know humans need longer to feel comfortable with bonding for life. And I want to respect your boundaries. You were raised as a human, right?”

The way he phrased that is weird…

Peeking at my furrowed expression, Noah softens. “That’s part of what I wanted to tell you. Wolves don’t always like humans - too many hunters. My initial reaction wasn’t about rejecting you. I was afraid that my pack - everyone I care about - wouldn’t accept my mate. I hate that I'll be putting you through that, just by my position, and…” Noah’s jaw twitches. “Well, it'll probably be a fight. If you’d eventually like to be with me, I’ll welcome you into my life, no matter what they think.”