"Open the door Lu" Elsie, my eldest sister, asks while beating on my white painted door.

Elsie was my 23 year old big sister. She was also ace-sexual. She was the big sister I told secrets to. We were really close with eachother. She is the only one in my family that knows that in fruity, and the David was my boyfriend.

I creak open the door with red puffy eyes and tears constantly falling, tracing my jaw till the chin. "Oh my baby.."She wraps me in a motherly hug and runs circles on my back. I start sobbing out of no where.

"What happened?" Her soft tone kicked in. "You dont know.." I mumble. I go to my backpocket and scroll through Instagram. I show her the indecent picture of me last night.

Her face turned pale..very pale. "Louis, you never told me anything about this. When was this picture took?!" Her voice didnt keep calm after she saw the picture.

"Well last night, David took me to a hotel and he asked me if...he could uh-" I say muttering everyword. "He could have s*x with me" I finish.

"Then he took the picture. That little piece of sh*t garbage. That f*cking b@stard!" She raged before she pulled me into a tight hug again. "Theres no way..."I said in disbelief.

She was right...he was the only one that could have had the picture, but I didnt want to believe it. I had to, he betrayed me. He called me a f*g...and he's the one that asked me.

"I'm so so sorry, Frere.." She said, her soft tone coming back.
(Brother in French)

"I'm sorry you were outed by you best friend..and boyfriend.. to the whole world." She started tearing up, remembering when she got outed to her friends by her one-night stand.

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A few days later, somehow I thought of myself as not normal. I even thought about killing myself a couple times. She gave me a empty book and a pen. She told me to write how I feel to understand myself and to love myself. So I started doing it everyday from the first...

"Dear diary,
I am not normal. I'm disgusting. I have men hands roaming all around me and shouting in my ear. I cant stop going to that same day. I want it to stop."

To the last entry...

"Dear diary,
I dont even know what I am doing. My sister told me it would help me it would help me get along with myself and feel confident to be a gay f*g as everyone calls me. It dosent seem to work.

The more I write the more I hate myself. The more I feel pathetic for believing David. I feel the need to bury myself alive to leave. Leave this town. Leave this city. And just leave earth.

Tonight is the night I want it all to end. I will be going to the largest building here in New York and dive from it. I want everyone to forget the name Louis Léandre. I want to forget everything."

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Tonight was the night no one would remeber the name Louis Léandre. I step to the foot of the tall building. I take a moment to admire everything I will loose.

This beautiful sky. My beautiful family. The stars lit up brightly today in the dark blue sky.

I hear faint sounds of cars beeping the horn, people yelling, and dogs barking. I see the whole city. The light up signs to the dim broken down apartments.

I gave a smile to everything in the world. My eyes teared up. I was scared. I was terrified. But I wanted this to end. My body started shaking but with my first step forward I had my last words.

"Goodbye world"