“Welcome to Base Camp!” Shade spread her arms wide. “It’s just me and my bubble brain goldfish now. He lives in a cup of coffee, but that’s not important. Well then, you came along! Speaking of which, you need code names. The Octo-Frog Cult does not use real names. Aileen will be The Lord, of course. She has accepted this challenge of leading us.”

“You never really said this would be a challenge…” But Shade dismissed Aileen, saying, “Also, you need disguises!”

“Hold up, what’s this about your fish living in a coffee cup?” Lilah asked.

“Oh, he’s addicted to the stuff. He stays there most of the time, but sometimes I take him for walks. Then, of course, he also strangles the occasional uninvited visitor!” Shade laughed a high, maniacal laugh. Lilah and Aileen glanced at each other out of the corner of our eyes. Aileen could tell they were thinking the same thing: why had they agreed to come with Shade?

“Because it’s your only choice, of course!” Shade said. 

“Argh, stop reading our thoughts!!!” Aileen said.

“Oh, but I can’t, you see. If you were as powerful as me, you would realize that there is no stopping this power. But I’m getting sidetracked. Lilah, you need to decide on a code name.”

“How about Annoying?” Aileen suggested.

Lilah frowned. “Um, no. What about Eternal Despair?”

“If you call yourself that, I will have Caffeinated Fish - that’s my goldfish, by the way - strangle you,” Shade jumped in.

“Okay, then, how about Ember?”

“Nah, that’s way too mysterious and powerful for you. Let’s go with Sparky!” I said.

“YES, I LOVE IT!” Shade exclaimed. “IT’S OFFICIAL, YOU’RE SPARKY!!”

“Fine, I guess,” Lilah said. “But I just wish I could have something a bit more… epic and scary.”

“You could do that with your disguise! I feel like that as a Fire Elemental, you can’t help but have an epic and scary disguise!” Shade said.

Lilah scrunched up her nose and concentrated for a second, then she engulfed her whole body in flames. Aileen could feel smoke burning her eyes.

“Ahh!” Shade jumped back. “Warn people before bursting into flames!”

“Hmm… I think I could do the same!” After a moment, Aileen made a waterfall shoot down around her, obscuring her features from recognition. The water started at the top of her head and landed in a puddle at her feet, where she brought the water back up to my head. Thankfully, she could still grasp her necklace through the waterfall.

Shade studied us. “Yes, that will do. Good thing I don’t have wooden floors or carpet because the two of you would destroy it.”

She turned around and pointed at the mossy mountain behind us. It framed a large opening with two torches in steel brackets. Vines and moss formed a net over the whole clearing so that you wouldn’t know it was there unless you knew how to find it. Just inside the cave, there was an open door, where Aileen could see a cozy-looking bed. Outside the mountain, on a large, chiseled stone pedestal, there was a coffee-cup-shaped clear fish tank. It filled the tank with coffee, and inside were decorations like - Aileen stared closer - McDonald’s and Starbucks. Aileen didn’t want to know. Also in the tank was a vibrating orange thing. Aileen guessed that it was Caffeinated Fish, Shade’s goldfish. But could you really call that thing a fish?

Caffeinated Fish rose out of the coffee and glared at Aileen. She thought he was just swimming to the surface, then she realized that big, muscly legs were lifting him out of the coffee. Somehow, he was growing those legs. 

Big buff arms sprouted from the sides of the fish’s body and reached toward my neck.

“Whoa there, buddy!” Shade stepped forward, and the arms retreated. “These are new members. Please do not strangle them.”

Caffeinated Fish made a sound Aileen could have sworn was a sigh.

“What do you put in your coffee!?” Lilah asked.

“Oh, I don’t really know. Some kind of pollen or something fell into my coffee cup, thus Fishy emerged.”

“That’s… disturbing,” Aileen said.

“It’s nature! It’s life!” Shade argued.

“I’m sorry. I mean this in the most respectful way possible, but there is nothing natural about that fish.”

Caffeinated Fish regrew one of his arms and stuck up the middle finger at me.

Shade smiled at the buff orange fish. “The moment you popped out of my coffee, I knew you were going to do great things. I was right!”

“Why did we agree to come live with a psychopath who has spent way too much time alone?” Lilah said to herself.

“I wasn’t alone. I’ve been with Fishy!” Shade said.

“Sooo… you talk to your goldfish?” Lilah asked.

“Of course. And he talks back.”

“Can we do something else? ANYTHING else?” Aileen asked, eager to change the subject.

“Right. Of course. I can show you your new rooms!”

Aileen made sure to keep one eye on Caffeinated Fish as they walked into the cave.