(Trigger warning: PTSD and trauma)

This seemed to take him completely off guard, "are you joking?" My confidence faultered and he seemed to notice because he quickly said, "sorry you just caught me off guard." he scratches the back of his neck, "yes I do want kids. B-but only if you want them too! Oh and only when you're ready I mean we haven't even fully mated yet and you're thinking about children." He sighs when he realizes my face is now fully red, "I should stop talking." he puts his forehead to mine.

"Andy why haven't we fully mated?" I ask before I can stop myself because I know he's waiting for me to feel comfortable but I just want to make sure because I think I am ready to take that next step. I just don't know how to tell him that without sounding desperate. The thought of Andy's hands on me doesn't scare me like my nightmares do in fact the thought makes me feel good and want it more. 

his eyes tell me that he wasn't expecting that question either, "well because I won't force you until you're ready. You've been taken advantage of and I don't want to make it worse. I want you to feel safe and confident when we do it."

I start to cry because I am so ingredibly lucky to have such an amazing mate, "hey what's wrong baby?" He wipes a tear from my cheek. 

"you're just so amazing." I whisper into his chest as I shove my face into it. I feel it rumble with his chuckle.

"So does that mean you're not sad?"

"No I'm happy" I move my face into his neck and say before he can say anything before me, "and I'm ready." I hide my face more into his neck when he looks down to see if I said what I really just said, "when ever it happens I'm ready for it cause I have never felt safer than when I am with you." 

I look up to see him siling to himself only for him to meet my eyes and then my lips for a soft kiss, "but not right now?" he asks in a sultry voice.

I push him away, "no not right now! I haven't have time to prepare!" I look st him with a pout.

He pins me against the counter with a smirk on his face, "but you're perfect any time of the day baby~." He whispers into my ear with that sexy voice of his before laughing when he sees my stunned face. This asshole I push him away again he lets me going having had enough fun with teasing me but looking back I csn see that he surprised himself. I smiled when I see how happy he looks in his thoughts even as I walk away. 

Then as I lock myself in the bathroom it takes a while for my heart to stop beating. 

When I finally come out of the bathroom I have Andy help me make Toby into a contact on my phone. Then I send him a message.

I show what Toby said to Andy, "oh he invited you over for dinner?"

I shake my head, "he invited both of us." I press the phone closer to him, "what do I say?"

"Oh in that case anytime works even tonight works for me we can just go to the pack house early and eat lunch there."

So I responded 

After I finished with that Andy said we should start heading to the pack house so I grabbed my stuff and we headed out. 

When we walked out the door I wondered if I should take Andy's hand but he answered that for me by almost instantly taking hold of it. This helped calm my nerves as we walked because there seemed to be a lot of people staring and I wasn't going to let my mind wonder if their intentions were kind or not. I have to trust what Andy says about this pack.

I'm taken aback the moment we walk into the pack house by how strongly it smells like alphas. I start to shake by how much the sent reminds me of my old pack. I press closer to Andy and whine when he lets go of my hand but relax when I feel his arm wrap around my waist protectively. I still cling onto him though as we pass what seems to be a workout room where there are a bunch of alphas working out showing off how easily they can kill me. 

To my utter horror Andy seems to be about to go through the door that leads into the room. I let out an audible whine of protest when he puts his hand on the door. I end up sinking to the floor unable to stop shaking not to mention stop breathing so hard. 

I couldn't even find Andy as all the memories of abuse from the alphas of my pack came flooding into my mind. I tried to tell myself that I wasn't there anymore but my mind wouldn't listen. It seemed convinced that the alphas past the door were going to hurt me. 

I could feel some come near me as they left the room but then I felt the rumble of Andy's growl against my ear as he held me to his chest keeping them away from me. 

I don't know how long it took but at some point I was able to hear Andy's voice again and he was instructing me on how to breath. So I did as he said and slowly I was able to calm down and make the thoughts go away.

When I looked up I didn't see the scary alpha's that my mind was convinced I would see but instead there were three very concerned looking Alphas crouched a few feet away from me and Andy. "Are you okay? Should we go?"

I turned my attention back on Andy as he spoke and shook my head, "no I'm fine I'll be fine."

"Are to sure?" His eyes showed so much concern but I gave him a firm nod. These alphas weren't going to hurt me. Even if they tried Andy would keep me safe. That thought alone helped me to stand again.

I looked to the alphas as Andy began to introduce me to them, "Emil this is Delta Mark." He motions to the oldest looking one who also looks the most concered.

He offers a friendly smile, "nice to meet you Emil I've heard a lot about you." 

Then Andy gestures to the short one with black hair not that he is sorter than me just shorter for an alpha, "this is Benik a new friend of mine and Jersey also a new friend of mine." he motions to the tall blonde who is gorgous but no where near as big as Andy and Mark who is still smaller than Andy. 

"Sorry." is all I can say in return.

Mark takes a careful step forward, "you have nothing to worry about we're just glad you're okay Emil." That made me feel better but I still felt bad about freaking out not to mention embarrassed. 

Turns out Andy had planned to go to lunch with them and even though I didn't really contribute to their conversations I still learned a lot about each person even Andy. Mark is like a second father to him which is probably why he's hanging out with him because Mark seems to treat him like a son in return. Benik is really funny even if I don't understand most of his jokes he seems to make everyone else laugh. However he does seem sensitive about his height. Jersey is someone completely different. He's quieter than I thought he would be and more reserved towards the waiter than towards his friends. Like he doesn't want anyone to know what he's thinking but with his friends he lets it all out even if his voice is not as easy to hear. He was probably shy as a child but is confident now as an adult alpha. 

All in all I had a good time and was really looking forward to dinner now that I had, had a good lunch.