Another Type of Suicide Called Faith.

Human's to all Human's, I am still living as one.

As always, I carry on about my task, heading to school. It's been days since my mother passed, I been stranger to the family, I just act what my feeling telling me to do that day. And so, I decided to live.

  As always I was spacing out, and suddenly Hikari approached me, she was trying to cheer me, I don't know why, but I feel at eased now.

And so, Nanami arrived with a big news. "Sit, down everyone, and listen to me. You will have a new classmate."

  Suddenly the guys looks excited one of them asked. "Sensei, is she cute?"

Suddenly Sensei tone and aura changed, when her student asked her this. 

She said. "If I heard, that you guys trying to hit on this girl. I swear I will never show mercy in you brats."

"HAI!! SENSEI!" The guys replied and sound like a bunch of soldier in boot camp.

  "Then, pleased enter." And so, the girl entered the room.

And so, she walked to the center, and stop suddenly, she smiled. "Nice to meet you everyone." Therefore, all the guys saw, an angel. She have a same aura from Hikari, but she have a different feeling of aura of light.

  Sensei, introduced her. "Ah, this girl is a daughter of my friend, and this girl is purity, so guys here, gave up already, she already devoted herself to god."

  I see, her family is a religious people, who is serving the church, and so, they influence their child to devoted to god itself.

"My name is Sistine Naomi, and my family are close to the catholic church, and we known for serving them." And so, a huge angel wing appeared, as she smiled.

  Suddenly the guys said. "Am I in heaven?"

And so, Hikari just snicker beside me. But for me, I didn't care at all.

  And so were on, she sit beside Hikari.

They become friends really quick, the guys called them, the goddesses of Class 6.

The bell rings, means its break time, like usual I grab my bento, and eat to the spot in the school rooftop. But I been stopped, because Hikari and Sistine approached me.

  "Asahi-kun, want to join us?" Hikari asked me, and beside her is Sistine, suddenly Sistine take my both my hands, and she said. "Your Asahi Kuromi right?" Her eyes are sparkling like Hikari.

  I replied to her. "Yes, what about it?"

"L-Let's be friend Asahi-kun!" She said to me.

  "Sure why not, nothing bad going to happened." I said

"Then the three of us, let's eat together." Hikari said.

"Sure, why not but we will eat at the school roof." I said.

  And so, we arrived there.

Suddenly Sistine said. "Its peaceful here."

"Well let's eat here." I said, and so, we sit at the bench, where I am at the right side, and in the middle is Hikari and beside Hikari is Sistine.

  And so, we eat our bento, under the blue sky, and the beautiful cloud formation, the calming breeze from the east.

"Did you always do this?" Sistine asked us.

  Hikari replied to her. "No, but Asahi-kun I think do this everyday."

"Really, Asahi-kun?" Sistine asked me.

"Well, its peacefully here and when I am eating my food I enjoyed it very good." I said to her.

  Therefore, we continued to eat our bento, and a few minutes have passed, the break time is over, we all headed back to the classroom.

  And so, the lecture continued.

After the last period of the class, the bell rings means the school are done for today, like always I put all my things inside my bag, I saw in the door, Hikari and Sistine talking, and so Hikari leave, and Sistine approached me.

  "Are you free today Asahi-kun?" She asked me.

"I'm free always, 24-7." I said to her.

  "Then can we talk together, at the nearest café here?" She said to me.

And so were the only one, walking at the street, even though I don't know which café were going, well as long Sistine knows it, I leave it to her.

  We arrived at the front of the café, and yes, its the café I went with Shizuki.

And so, we entered the café, still same ambience the scent of the coffee, and the classical music.

  Therefore, we sit near the window,

I order a cup of tea, and Sistine, order some cup of rose tea, and some sweets.

  A few minutes have passed, our order have arrived.

And so, I grab my cup of tea, and blow it, and took a sip, after that I put my cup in the saucer, and Sistine forget the reason were here, she been distracted, by the extravagant cake. "So what's were going to talk about?" I asked her.

  "Oh, right." She wipe her face, with a handkerchief.

"I heard about, your mother, am sorry for your lost." She said to me.

  I replied to her, in a calm voice, and expression. "And?"

"I know she, is the only one who provided you from daily life, she said to Inasuki-oneesan, to watch you, and stopping you hurting yourself, that's her last wish. Now she is gone, God's know, what will happened to your life, maybe he did that to your mother, have faith Asahi-kun." She said to me.

I grab my cup of tea, and took and sip of it, and put it back. And I said to her. "God knows about our life as living.... God's doesn't know nothing about my life, nor your life, nor other people life, god will never do a thing, in terms of problem, or incident, only us people who do it." I said to her.

  And so, she protested to me. "Because you didn't acknowledge it, you need to acknowledge the existing of god, so you will find hope and faith, and you will be help from problems you in."

And I replied to her. "Us people who helps others, who provide others need, god doesn't do anything, god is dead, or maybe there's no god to begin with, and he will remain dead till centuries, till the world end, and he will not do a thing.

Quit hoping for a hands of god, he will never provide it, just believe on yourself. I don't see myself as God, neither the Devil itself, am just a human being. I believe life is meaningless, but some people think if god is dead, and life is meaningless anymore we took our own lives, and that's not how human being lives, once we become aware from the reality, just continue to live at the very end." I said to her.

  "You know, you sound like you planning to took your own life, because you think life is meaningless." She said to me.

And I explained to her. "There's three things of how we will endured the meaningless, first is physical suicide, shooting ourselves, hanging ourselves, jumping from the highest place. Next is philosophical suicide, and that's when we take the leap of faith, when we end up believing in deity, who will provide salvation from the suffering, and last is acceptance, and I choiced the last choices."

"But if you believe in god, your life will be enlighten." She said to me.

"If we believe in god, our life will be enlighten? Just by continuing to live you can find a source of light, No we can't find any source of light, into this dark side of the world. But doesn't mean life is over by that, just get used by the darkness, and continued living to this darkness. So, quit forcing yourself to make me believe in something, that will turn nothing in the end. I do believe in something right now, and that is I am alive." I said to her.

  "Looks like I will never convince you." She said to me, and looks worried.

"Don't misunderstood me, I will tell you this, I don't believe in god and I am not an atheist, I don't believe in satan either. But I do believe that people can do some good deed, and bad deeds." I said to her.

I finished my last sip of my cup of tea, and I stand up from were we sit, and I said to her. "If your worried, about me taking my life, because mother worried I might do this your wrong. I lived like death is beside me, but I ignored it, and continued to live."

  And so, I leave her behind.

I was walking to head back to my place.

Mother, I know your worried if your gone I will end my life. Thank you for worrying, but I will continued to live on.