Once the sun rose completely up over the sea, Jack suggested we head back. It was with a heavy heart that I agreed. If I had it my way, I would have stayed in that moment with him forever. Unfortunately, time was never on my side; it always kept going even when all I ever wanted was for it to stop. 

We took the path through the woods this time, now that there was enough light to see where we stepped. I enjoyed the way the morning sun shone bright orange through the canopy. When the wind blew, it was like the trees were wild tribal dancers, silhouetted by the light of a burning bonfire. 

“I’ve been thinking about the crow,” I said, taking the hand he held out for me to help me over a broken tree branch. 

He didn’t speak, just gave me his curious expression and kept going.

I continued, cautiously. “The way you put your hands over its eyes, and it was like it went to sleep.” Perhaps my carefulness was making my curious intention too obvious. 

He kept walking, but something about the way he moved showed I had his attention. “What do you think I did?” His tone was much more forward than it had ever been before. It felt almost like he was daring me to voice the questions spinning around in my head. 

I opened my mouth, but I felt suddenly hyperaware of the nonsense of my own thoughts. I shook my head, embarrassed. “Nevermind. It’s ridiculous.”

He stopped beside a large hemlock tree, and when I caught up to him I leaned a shoulder back against the trunk, taking a moment to read him. He wore that same mischievous look as earlier, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. 

“I could show you what I did, if you want,” he offered, turning to circle the tree, catching my gaze with his soft gray eyes right before disappearing behind the trunk. His next words came behind me, from the other side. “Do you trust me?” 

I resisted turning to meet him, biting my tongue to stifle the nervous giggles at his unusual behavior. We’d both been up all night; maybe the exhaustion was making us delirious. “I’m not sure anymore,” I replied, teasing, and watched in my peripherals as his lips spread wider. 

I wasn’t expecting what he would do, so I went rigid when he reached up from behind me and blocked my sight with his palms. His hands were somehow still so warm, despite being out in the cold all night. 

He let me sit in the dark for just long enough to confuse me, then innocently asked, “Are you dead yet?”

I resisted another laugh. “No.” Although, my heart was suddenly racing.

His hands fell away, and my cheeks were assaulted with the cold again. “That’s strange.”

I turned to face him, soaking up the playfulness in his eyes. “Maybe it only works with crows?” I suggested.

He grinned that torturous I-know-something-you-don’t grin. “Maybe.” 

I hadn’t noticed how close we’d gotten until our banter became silence and I glanced down to see my feet, toe to toe with his combat boots. Heat crept out from my collar and up my neck, my heart pounding an extra beat in my ears. He just continued sweetly smiling, completely unaware of what he was doing to me. 

“We should really get you home,” he said softly, nodding his head to the side to encourage me to follow him.

When he took that first step away from me, I reached out and snatched his fingers. “Jack,” I called him on a shaken breath because it was all I could muster.

He turned back, curiosity in his gray eyes, because he had no idea. Then he tightened his fingers around my own, and my will broke. Before there was time to think about it I peeled away from the tree and found his lips with mine. 

Kiss someone, one last time.

I’d been kissed before, but I had never been the one doing the kissing, so I wasn’t sure what to expect from my rash actions. I definitely didn’t need to be a genius to know what his failure to react meant. 

I broke away from him sharply, completely removing myself and throwing my eyes to the ground as a raging fit of embarrassment assaulted me. I didn’t even want to see what his rejection looked like. “I’m sorry. That was, that was stupid. I just… It was on my list, is all.” It was a pathetic excuse, but I was grateful for any bluff that might make the awkwardness less painful. 

When he still didn’t speak, I turned to flee in the direction of my grandmother’s estate.

“Violet,” he said my name, and I stopped. I didn’t realized I was shaking until I had to stand there and hold my breath, waiting for him to say something else. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him; his brows joined together in a harsh line, a hand coming up to the back of his neck, working out the muscle. I realized I had never seen him so uncertain before. 

“Violet.” 

He said my name again. I turned back this time, seeing his expression clearly for the first time since my kiss. His gaze read torment, and it was a noticeably foreign emotion for him. It made his features hard when they were normally soft and gentle, and I felt suddenly guilty for putting that look there.

The anticipation was torture. It was only after the silence between us became unbearable and I took in a hard, shaky inhale, thinking to fill the void between us with more senseless words, that he finally reacted. 

He bridged the gap between us with a couple strides, taking my face in his hands and kissing me back.

I was sure galaxies birthed and died between the moment his lips met mine and when he pulled away. But when my eyes fluttered open again, I could see the harshness still lingering on him.

"What's wrong?" I asked in a whisper as he rested his forehead against mine.

His frown deepened. "I tried so hard not to hurt you." 

I shook my head. "You haven't hurt me."

He sighed, and I saw that look again, the one that said he knew something I didn't. 

"I have. You just don't know it yet."