------21st_January-------

------Year_2020-------

"Do I...like..him?"

"Did you say somethin?"My mother turned to me,said in a half-asleep voice.

"It's nothing! nothing!",I panicked.

It...took me a few days or I should say a few months to realize.

Many questions arised-

'Am I that lonely?'

'Am I crazy?'

'Will he accept me?'

'But he is not that bad,Right?Yeah,he is a bit nuts at the upper department but that's normal,right?'

'Have I finally lost it?'

'BUT HE IS MY FRIEND!'

'Actually my only good male friend I have till now'

'Do I feel lonely?'

'Maybe I hate him so much I am starting to like him?'

'Or...is it the other way around?'

'Well,He is quite cool...'

'HUH?What was that just now?,NO NO NO!No way I think he is cool,hah!How can that monkey face be cool,right?'

"Hey Nina"

'Just look at him,he is not even cool in any way possible,his hair is short like any average boy,he is not so fit either and on top of that he is shorter than me!No way my expectations will hit such rock bottom!'

"Hey!"

'Even is voice is so irritating!'

"You son of a bi-HEY YOUUU!!"

"Huh?!"I snapped out of my deep-thinking.

Prince looked at me with a bit irritation for me,"Can't you hear me,geez.Yo,Have a eraser?"

"Sigh",I took out the eraser from my pencil pouch and tossed it to him,"You better not throw it in my eye"

"Hehe",his laugh was sinister.I kept my eye on him for a bit but then-

"WHAT THE-Why are you making a hole with your pencil at the centre?!",I jumped to him with anger.

He looked at me and gave a mischievous smile,"Bablade",he said..

My last thread of anger control snapped.

"WHAT ARE YOU?FIVE?WAIT FORGET ABOUT THAT!WHY MY ERASER?GO DRILL YOUR OWN ERASER!DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IS IT TO NOT LOOSE IT KNOWING HOW CLUMSY I AM?!",I snatched the eraser from him,"bablade",he says",I mimicked him as I went back to my seat furious.

I don't know why but whenever I am with him,I turn into such a short-tempered person even through I am not short-tempered....Am I?(dout)

Anyways,I started to observe him..

..more after The chip-feeding incident took place,I don't know why I titeled it as "The turning point"but is sure was quite a memory.

A year have passed since then.

I am now a Fifth grader (Yaay~)

He is now in a different class..

Long Story Short,I don't hate him but..I don't know if it's like flowers and sparkles of love..I don't really fell heavens here but if my eyes chase him it must be lo-lo-lo-I mean 'that',right?

And 1 year went by only convincing myself that I am in love(official)

But at the same time,I was not soo worried cause if the boy does not react to it or gives signs of being uncomfortable,I retreat and gradually I fall out of love,for example:Just before falling for Prince I was in unrequited love with this Introvert guy names Karl.He was awfully white(he had vitiligo disease where a person starts to have white patches on skin and slowly the white patches expand to the point that the whole body becomes white and very sensitive,Google it for more info)At that time his skin was like the ideal black-white cow thus every one were mostly creeped out but not me!I thought that maybe there is a beauti-I mean Handsome prince behind that ideal cow skin but Nope!

He was wore than a trash can.

He was a 'Otaku' (If you know this term you know)at the end.He was evil wolf in sheep's disguise and kept on rambling-"I doN't Fall iN LoVE,I Am ANti-ROma~nTiC."

As if him being unable to love someone is a divine power that god gave him instead of Jesus.But things are getting even worse now!As he have reached 5th grade now,The teachers are like-'Students GET ASIDE!The SPECIALY-ABELED Karl is here!"

He might act shy but I know he is enjoying this!Because I also have the blood of Introvertness running through my veins and arteries!!I know this son of an Introvert is gonna take advantage of it! He does not do P.T just because of his skin while some of us literally fainth  and die jumping under the boiling sun and that is in JUNE!If you bully him,You will get punished,If he bullies you it's you again getting punished!!He looks like some Innocent child but he knows way more (dirty-stuff)than you do!

Why I know this?!

Because I also have the blood of Introvertness running through my veins and arteries!!

*Panting now because I got hyper*

So after looking over all those things,

I understood...

NOTHING!LIKE I WAS JUST A 9 YEAR OLD DUMB KID!

But still subconsciously,I knew that this..is not really good-quality item.

So,I with all my love in my stomach,Wrote a letter to him with my broken grammer.

It went something like this-

I like you Kael

Even I know you skin disease have.

I like still.

I Know you different religion to me different religion but I hope you no mind and you parents no mind.

I hope letter aware you that I like.

Me leter you think and tell.

                            -Nina Riyana.

AndI folded it and  sucked in his bag.I didn't know it was so awful,I even imagined myself as shekspear while writing!

Well,The next day I asked him about it,he went on something like this-Ahem!-"Yeah,I did find a piece of paper of this size(shows the exact same size as the love letter with his fingers)".

My eyes gleamers  with hope"So,What did you do with it?"

He smiles,"I threw it"

"Heh?"

He said he threw it that day!

I understood quickly,"I am wasting my time day dreaming on thus ideal co-I mean this boy"

And slowly as I started ignoring him,I started to loose feelings for him and by the time I reached 4th  grade,I was intensely in haterade with him.

So,As you can see I do fall in love easily but I knew how to fall out of it even if I didn't wanted to.

Nothing lasts forever,pal.That is Life in a nutshell.

So that's why I don't think this chips love will last long either!

End of the story!

Nothing to read here any more!

I WAS COMPLETELY WRONG...(depression)

It happened that day when it was almost lunch break and I was just there fooling around in the classroom,My one of the Toxic friend,Liz was also there.

She was having a hard time tying her uniform tie,I couldn't  help her because not only the fact that have never tied a tie but also that my own tie was a Fake.(The ready-made type tie)and most of the girl's tie were also fake.At that time the only boy that could be seen under her radius was Prince,I did tried tying the tie but i was defeated very easily.

So, Liz went near him and was like,"Please~ do it,baby"(yup,you read right)

And he was like"OK" like a computer click-button.

I(like usually)steared at them,I noticed Prince hesitate to tie it around her neck.

My 10 year old brain wasin't able to gasp the reason.Once I nagged"Just tie it around her  neck already jerk",He would look at me rather with a serious face and say nothing,later he took the tie,tied it around his neck and put it back to Liz's neck.

Only at Mid-night,2 a.m I realized something like-

"Huaaaah!!!!",I jolt and sit up on the bed with a blushed red face'Ofcourse he HESITATE!!!That is what husband-wife do!!'

My mother looks at me eyes wide scared if I am suddenly possessed by a demon.

Well,I always gasp the thing way late then the incident but it was new.He was careless enough to eat a chip from my fingers but not to tie a necktie around a girl.It was rather funny but maybe I fell a little more in love with him today..I wonder how long...this might last..

Nina Riyana.

21st Jan,2020.

Time:9:51 at night.

Good Night,

Dear Diary.

-----------Present_Day------------

-----------Nina's_house-----------

-----------Time_11:41 p.m---------

Nina lying in her bed arms open,stearing at the celling, she wondered..

'...I wonder...how long...this might last...

Maybe a tear dripped down her eyes,Prince was not home..nither was his belongings.

Nor his shirts,or his car keys..

All was there was a faint smell of his shaving cream or maybe it was just Nina's imagination..She wondered if she will be able to get him back home ever..if he will never come back,the fainth scent of his shaving cream might also disappear.That's when a message popped up in her mobile screen,unwillingly she looked at it.."How are you",A message from one of her friends...

Nina typed,"Can I call you?".

A few seconds later a puppy emoji popped up in her screen saying "OFCOURSE!"

And a second later her phone started ringing.Nina accepted the call and said in a deep voice,"This is the first time you have called me immidietly,you know",and smiled weakly.She talked for hours with the other person,It was her only cousin,even through if was her cousin sister,She did not hesitate to think of her as her own sister yet as a friend.Nina did not talk about Prince or her day today,She just went on asking how her sis's day was and a few fun stories following that.

As the clock stricked 1 o'clock.They ended their talk.Nina was a bit cheered for the time they talked but as she cut the call,everything went dead scilent,She went back in the dark abyss of sadness of the room and soon her eyes went heavy and finally closed.

As Nina sinked  into the darkness of dreams which was surely a nightmare,she had forgot to lock the door,The door slowly opened with not much of a noise,gentle steps,It was Prince,maybe he wanted to take a few more things with him,maybe his  books or his business products,maybe he wanted to come frequently and take a little amount at a time to avoid being noticed,even through he knew that it would only cause Nina more and more pain every day as the proof of her husband staying in that house would disappear one by one,why should he care?He had his own plans maybe,Once(only once)he looked at Nina passed out there,he noticed she had went out earlier,he slowly opened her handbag and saw one of the divorce drafts folded there,she had not filled it up.He sighed and put the things back in place,he opened one of the cupboards in front of the bed where there were mainly books and documents etc,As Nina changed her position,Prince not wanting to get discovered took anything there was inside in a hurry but he did not know that he had took along was a diary too...

Maybe Nina's Diary..