Anyway, back to my first supernova, I remember it was just me and the stars. I was thinking as usual when I saw this ring of colour exploding out to my right. When I turned I saw a flash of light, and felt a burst of energy strike me. I thought I might be cut down but yet, nothing. I was fine. I looked on in awe at the pretty colours. I knew what was happening but yet, it struck me as beautiful. So elegant in it's destruction. Then again, all good things must end sometime.

I remember watching one particular solar system, it had a yellow star and eight planets. There were two asteroid belts surrounding the system. I was watching the oort cloud from what I remember, looking at all of it's colours. Then I noticed something small, something seemingly insignificant. A light. This light came from what looked to be, a small blue and green planet. I went down to investigate. What I found there shocked me. I found life, intellegent life too! It seemed so surreal. All of the tall buildings, the loud vehicles which passed me, and the hustle and bustle of a great civilization. As I walked amoung them I altered my form so I could blend in. Of course nobody took notice of me, which was fine. I was only there to observe, or so I thought.

As I turned a corner, I saw her. I think she is the only name I remember. Ellaine. She was beautiful, like a walking marble statue from the great civilizations of old. Her hair, a beautifully dark firey brown and her eyes a beautiful deep blue. She was awe inspiring. I remember me stopping her, just to stare. Of course this confused her, but she agreed to go out to coffee with me. After a while we fell in love, it was perfect, for the first time I forgot that I was different. I integrated into their society, I became one of them, all to be with her. But as I said before, all good things must end somehow. I remember the feeling rushing me, remembering that I was different. I was alien.  After I left Ellaines planet, I went in search of other things to explore to get her off my mind. But she haunted me, like a ghost. Yet, even now I feel her with me, perhaps she loves me even as my haunting phantom. I won't know that. 

I remember watching as the people of Ellaine's planet became space faring. They explored, fought, and loved. I find it so beautiful yet also haunting how a people are so united over love, in other words the feeling of total devotion to and desire for someone or something. I knew that I'd see many more Ellaines in my time, and loose so many too. Maybe I wasn't loosing many Ellaines, maybe it would just be my Ellaine who came to me in different forms, like I came to her. 

I remember seeing the brutallity of war, the destruction it brought. I remember in particular the war between Ellaine's people and an alien race. The aliens were hell bent on the destruction of Ellaine's people. Ellaine's people meanwhile, were scared. They feared destruction and so they fought for what they loved. Themselves, and each other. The idea of their existance was put to the test when they fought. The flashes of battle, in the cosmos, or on the ground, under the waves or in the virtual world, I remember those flashes so well. The colours dancing yet again, the pure energy running loose from their weapons as they destroyed what they hated or feared. I remember the disturbing contrast of the loud sounds of battle and the deathly silence of many years later. 

To me it all seems to confusioning yet sensible to fight and die for love. To give up so much, for something which might not even be real. To risk everything so you can have what you want. It seems foolish, but yet to those involved it makes the most sense. It is logical to do so.