“So,” Riley began, drawing out the ‘o’ sound. “Logan. I don’t mean to be rude or anything,” she said, gaze shifting to Jax. “But you never invite anyone to eat with us. Why did you choose to today?”
Jax let his eyes slide over to Logan, awaiting his response with anticipation
Logan shrugged, then signed, “I don’t know. I just wanted to talk to him more, I guess.”
Jax felt his cheeks go pink at that comment and turned his head away to hide that. When he finally gained the courage to look back at the group, he noticed the way Riley’s eyes flicked between him and Logan, watching them as though she knew something they didn’t.
“Um,” Jax started after clearing his throat. “What do you all normally talk about up here?”
Harper and Riley exchanged a glance before the former responded. “Whatever is on our minds, I suppose,” he said, but there was clearly something he was leaving out.
Jax ignored it. They didn’t like him to begin with; to ask them to trust him with absolutely everything would be absurd. Instead, he hummed and tried to think of something neutral to talk about.
Luckily, he was spared when Riley began to excitedly talk about a new game she had started playing. “The graphics are amazing, and the storyline keeps you intrigued! Seriously, I’m in love with it.”
Jax raised an eyebrow at her. “You’re in love with a video game-? Who broke your standards?” He made sure to speak in an obviously sarcastic tone and let a smile play across his lips to let her know that he was joking.
Riley gasped, slapping a hand over her chest as though horrified. “Low standards? How dare you insult video games like that! They’re the best thing humans have ever created!”
“I’m not so sure about that,” Harper butted in. “I think some basic necessities like clothing might be better, ya know?”
Riley huffed and turned away. “You guys don’t understand the appeal of video games. This is why none of you are ever getting invited to the Gaymers discord server. I had hoped for you,” she said pointing at Jax. “But you went and violently crushed them. Ouch.”
Jax’s smile faded a little at that. The way she had emphasised the first part of Gaymers had made it clear to him that it had something to do with gay people, although he only had a small idea of what she was talking about. His nerves went haywire as he thought of the implications.
Has Logan already clocked me as LGBTQ+? If he already told his friends, who’s to say that he won’t tell more people?
Riley must have noticed the slight droop in his lips because she soon clarified the situation. “Not to assume that you’re gay or anything. But Logan said you were an ally, and allies are welcome on the server, too,” she said.
Jax noticed Harper send her a befuddled look but decided not to read in on it and nodded instead. “Nah, you’re good. I just wasn’t expecting that,” he said with a laugh. His worries had quieted a little at her words. He had stopped being paranoid that Logan had somehow found out he was bisexual and outed him.
“So, are you, ya know. Gay?” She asked, staring at him inquisitively.
“Um,” was all he said, beginning to grow mildly uncomfortable. To his relief, Logan tapped her on the shoulder and shook his head, giving her what could only be described as an exasperated look.
“Right, right! Sorry about that! I forgot that’s not something you ask people when you first meet them,” she said awkwardly, glancing away from Jax.
He said nothing in response, simply staring down at his hands in his lap.
“It doesn’t matter if you are or not,” Harper supplied. “I’m polysexual, Riley is pan, and Logan is gay. We’re just curious. You can be our token straight, though.”
Logan nodded in agreement, and Riley soon followed suit. Jax’s unease faded at that. Surely people like him wouldn’t out him. And they wouldn’t make fun of him, either.
“It’s alright. I was, again, just surprised at the question.”
“Riley tends to be full of surprises. You should get used to it,” Logan signed, grinning.
Get used to it. Did that mean he would be invited back again? He hoped so. Eating alone was, well, lonely when compared to this.
“Well, back on to normal topics. How has Kris been recently, Logan?”
“She’s been alright. As good as she can be, with—“
Logan cast a glance at Jax and abruptly stopped his movements, placing his hands in his lap once more.
“That’s what I meant. But good for her,” he said cheerily.
“Um. Kris is-?” Jax asked hesitantly. He felt like he was supposed to know this.
“Logan’s sister,” Riley supplied. “Younger.”
“Ah,” Jax made a sound of acknowledgement. “I see.” He didn’t question Logan’s earlier pause. He felt that it would overstep some unsaid boundaries. Instead, he asked another question. “Is she your only sibling or do you have more?”
“I have an older brother as well, and he’s married, so an in-law.”
“Really? That’s cool,” Jax responded, unable to think of anything else to say.
“And I’m his cousin,” Harper said. “He might have mentioned that already, though.”
“I don’t think he has, no,” Jax answered, thinking back on his and Logan’s past conversations.
“Do you have any siblings?” Riley asked, the question obviously directed towards Jax.
“Yep. I’ve got an older brother and twin little siblings.”
“Oooh, twins! Are they identical?” That question came from Harper.
“Nope,” Jax replied with a chuckle. “But they do look pretty similar. Do you two have any siblings?”
“Yup! I’ve got a younger sister. She’s annoying as hell,” Harper said, rolling his eyes as he talked about his sister.
“I’ve got two older siblings. One sister and one non-gender specific sibling,” Riley clarified. “Both of them are pretty cool.”
Jax nodded. Words truly seemed to be failing him today.
“Oh! Have you seen the new movie that came out? The one about the spies and—“
The rest of their conversation was nice and relaxed, until, eventually, an alarm rang on someone’s phone.
“That means that we have two minutes until the bell,” Riley supplied as Logan reached for his phone and switched off the ringing noise.
Jax made a sound of acknowledgement and stood, dusting off his trousers. “Okay then. Uh. See you?” He said hesitantly, unsure if adding ‘tomorrow’ onto the end of that statement would be too much.
“Yup! See you!” Riley replied cheerily, standing as well and making her way to the door. Logan and Harper simply waved when they got to the bottom of the stairs that led to the roof and went their separate waves.
As Jax made his way to his maths class, he felt weightless and euphoric. It was the best school lunch he’d had in weeks.
He hoped dearly that it wouldn’t change.
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