This is it, today is the day I kill myself. Luna wasn't sure about a lot of things in her life but this she was sure of. She felt resolute in her decision. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. Not for her at least. No one would miss her if she died. She was just a small insignificant drop in an ocean full of people. She was going to take a cocktail of medications she found in her family's medicine cabinet. She knew she wouldn’t be missed. She had never felt loved in her eighteen years of life. She just felt so tired. Tired of everything. Luna knew people would say it gets better but her future just looked so empty. What comes after this? Nothing hopefully. Nothing, that sounds so nice.
She had just come to terms with her sexuality. She had always been teased by her family that she never liked anyone. She just failed to see the appeal in other people. If she were being completely honest she found people kind of gross. She often fantasized about having a girlfriend. The fictional girlfriend even had a name, Yadi. She laughed. She even got some art done of the two of them together. It was one of the few things that gave her joy, She looked at the art.
“Goodbye Yadi.” Luna said out loud, as she went to take the pills.
“Don’t do it…” A mysterious voice said. Luna looked around wondering where it could have come from.
“Shut up, you aren’t real.” Luna almost yelled at the voice. Luna had been knocked over, as if she were tackled. What the hell? Luna had made sure she was alone. She locked all the doors. Her family was gone. She had even turned off her phone. Who the hell could be in here?
“It’s me stupid!” The voice shouted at Luna. Luna finally realized who it was. It was Yadi. Her imaginary girlfriend from her mind. Luna thought she was losing her mind.
“Of course I’m crazy. Crazy and gay, just like my favorite comic clown.” Luna said, and then started to laugh.
“You’re not crazy Luna. I sensed you were in danger and I rushed over to help.” Yadi had said. She snatched the pills and flushed them down the toilet.
“How is this happening? It doesn't make any sense.” Luna started to mumble to herself as she turned on her phone. Luna decided to research what was going on. She started researching, seeing if anyone else had had their imaginary friend stop them from killing themselves. She was unaware of how much time she would spend researching.
“So you’re something called a tulpa." Luna started, Yadi seemed to like the term. "You’re a paranormal creature I think, created through mental powers. Which means I can create things, I think?" Luna had never thought much of herself but this was definitely interesting. Maybe the world wasn't as boring as she thought. Luna smiled this time it was a real smile. Yadi returned the smile. Yadi was really cute. Luna knew she designed her, but she really was Luna's type. She felt herself staring at her. Yadi didn't mind Luna's stares which was a relief. Luna would never be able to talk to a girl like her under normal circumstances. "You are capable of independent actions, like tackling me and flushing my drugs. You have your own personality, I didn't give you much of one. Which I read is good because it means you're a blank slate." Luna grabbed Yadi's hand, it felt so soft. "You can be whoever you want to be." Luna felt herself getting excited about the future. Luna would finally have a girlfirend she could go shopping with. Luna pictured it, just the two of them. How nice. "You became tangible, probably because my brain didn’t want to die. I read on this case of a lady that got in a plane crash. Broke several bones. Survived in the jungle for 8 days, all because a voice told her pictured to do. It sounds like what's happening here." Luna pulled up a picture and showed it to Yadi. The woman looked disheveled but there was someone else there. Possibly a tulpa. Maybe people with tulpas could see other's tulpas?
"So like a guardian angel kind of?" Yadi asked.
"People have called it that. Tulpas can also be summoned through spiritual power as well. That's not the case with us because I'm not religious. It can be argued that one doesn't have to be religious to be spiritual. Luna felt herself rambling like she had been known to do. She couldn't help herself. This stuff was fascinating. Yadi looked at her with interest. Luna felt herself get a bit nervous but wasn't sure if that was from the attention or because of Yadi or both. "You are with me for life. The only way to get rid of you would be to kill you, and I’m not going to do that. Mostly because I think I don’t have the stomach for it and disposing of a body doesn’t sound that fun.”