Weeks passed after, Blaine’s mind was hardwired on work. His responses were always short and curt but he wasn’t outwardly expressive. This new side of Blaine made even Leonard jumpy. He had never experienced Blaine in such a neutral mood before, and he was concerned it was going to end with him blowing up like an atom bomb.
Blaine was still fixated on what had happened with Dean. He buried his emotions, but he could still feel them prickling at the back of his neck. He rubbed his face, looking over the weekly report and then sucked in a deep breath. Maybe he just needed to readjust his mindset?
He hadn’t heard from nor tried to contact Trey. He wasn’t sure how to approach him, especially since the incident. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted a drink. That was because he was ashamed to admit he was impressed with how he handled Dean’s submission.
He was still seeing the aftereffects even after weeks, because Dean was calling him more often. It was almost starting to spark a rare jealousy inside him how he had managed to capture his brother’s attention and affection to the point where he was now nagging for the three of them to hang out again. It both unnerved Blaine and sent a thrilling chill down his spine.
It also didn’t help that the underlining thought of retiring was lingering. Would it be so bad to hand everything away? Did he trust Trey enough to do that? Sure, they hooked up occasionally and had gone out on a few dates, but nothing concrete was ever poured. At least, except for two separate incidents involving introductions to family members.
He couldn’t resist the urge anymore and pulled out his secret stash of bourbon for a drink. Leonard quirked a brow at his attempt to drink during working hours but otherwise remained silent.
Would Trey understand? Would he be accepting if he told him his darkest secrets? He knew it was true that some people didn’t share their pasts in their relationships, only briefly bringing it up whenever something came up in conversation. However, he got a suspicious inkling that doing so with Trey wouldn’t be possible because he was so good at his job.
Even as he stepped out of his office for the day and returned to the comforts of his home, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. By then, Blaine had more than a few drinks and was resting in his armchair while surfing the news.
Was he subconsciously searching for Trey through a body count on the news? He squinted his eyes at the blurry screen in realization that maybe he was completely clocked out and needed to go to bed.
A knock sounding at his door, pulled him from his thoughts as Blaine called for them to come in. He was both nervous and conflicted when Dean appeared before him. His siblings never called unless they wanted something or were having the blues. Visiting was defiantly not something they did often either, at least not without permission.
“Dean?”
“Hi brother, how are you?”
“Usual, what do you want?”
“I actually wanted to talk to you about something, is now a good time?” Blaine quirked a brow at him, indicating his curiosity since he had taken the time to travel all that way. He motioned for him to take a seat. Once Dean sat, his hands toyed with each other as he prepared to speak.
“So, what do you wish to talk about?”
“What happened at the vacation home?” He knew Dean was going to ask at some point, but he didn’t think it would be so soon.
“What about it?” Blaine replied, slightly slurring. Dean then realized that he was slightly drunk.
“Have you been drinking?” Dean asked, surprised.
“Is that a crime?”
“No, I just don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink this much.”
“It’s a new thing I’m trying out, now what about the incident?” he asked, slightly sarcastic. Dean sucked in a breath and continued, his voice remaining steady.
“I talked with the others about it, and they were surprised but not put off by the gesture.”
“You mean submitting instead of being submitted to?”
“Yes, I think they all will eventually understand to some degree.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Dean stared at him, struggling with his thoughts on what he really wanted to say.
“You’ve never brought anyone to us, we never thought you would. Ever since you became Head, you have distanced yourself from us on many levels. It was beginning to drive the others into darkness. This change in you, we have agreed it’s still better than not being a part of your life.”
How was he supposed to feel hearing such words? Agreement, compassion, understand-ding? Blaine knew the world he grew up in wasn’t the world everyone else did, but that didn’t mean he needed to continue living in his world to survive. We wanted more for them, he wanted different.
“And Trey?” His eyes sharply studied Dean, trying to pry out any deception or betrayal.
“I accepted Trey as the one you answer to, therefore I answer to him too. The others have at least agreed to try if you’re open to it.”
Open to what? Having Trey fuck his siblings to make them submit to his joining of the family? His head began to hurt just thinking about it. He knew this would happen if he ever tried to establish a relationship, but he hadn’t planned on doing so. The assassin had somehow managed to tiptoe into his life and was unusually accepting of most things.
“It doesn’t bother you? Watching me submit to him?” Blaine confronted. There was an emotion he didn’t recognize in Dean’s eyes, maybe because he spent so much time trying to ignore his existence all these years.
Dean rose and came to sit by his side, hesitating before placing his hand on his shoulder and rubbing it in comfort. The act sent a spiraling sensation through him that he wanted to ignore, both a sense of comfort and also nauseating desire.
“I saw the way you reacted afterwards. I know you liked it, I know you wanted it just as much as him and me after things started. Why are you fighting your nature?”
His nature? No, he was made this way, shaped forcibly without his consent or understanding. It didn’t mean it was who he was.
“Dean, I can’t let myself do those things to any of you anymore.”
“Why? It’s our family way.”
“It’s not the only way, and others won’t see it the same.”
“I don’t care about others, I care about you.” The tremor in his voice made Blaine drink more, feeling the brush of his fingers against his skin.
“I can’t, it isn’t moral.”
“After everything, you want to preach about having morals?” Dean scoffed,
“It’s never too late to change something you don’t like about yourself, it’s just hard.” Dean pulled his hand away and gave him a considerate look.
“What do you want us to do? Just try and forget our feelings for you? That’s impossible. You protected us, sheltered us, cared for us in every way a proper partner should. Then one day you stopped, it was like throwing cold water on already boiling skin.”
“I want you all to live your own lives, without relying on me to be your partners.” Dean sucked in a deep breath, now visibly agitated.
“I hate to break it to you, but it’s not happening anytime soon. Magnolia expressed a willingness to participate as long as she was sired a child. She’s aging and concerned she will become too old before she can have one.”
“I am not fathering her child,” he said grimly, snapping.
“She said she would accept your partner’s participation instead.” Blaine wanted to strangle them all, the nerve of making such a suggestion pissed him off. Trey was his and his alone!
“Why the fuck would I agree to that?”
“She offered the child as your own, you can raise it however you see fit. She just wants to contribute like the rest of us do.”
“Then get steady employment and earn money! Build homes, families of your own! Why can’t you all just leave me alone?” Blaine was beginning to buckle under the torment he had been trying to suppress.
“You know why, because we were raised this way. This is what we know, and doing anything else isn’t something we can easily comprehend or even can begin to try to.”
Blaine rolled his eyes and poured more alcohol into his glass before downing it again. He wanted to be in the comfort of foreign arms right now, away from anything familiar. The fact that he hadn’t had this discussion with Trey first, was beginning to bear down on him relentlessly.
“I can’t.”
“Why? At least tell me why?” he pressured.
The silence lingered in the air heavily as he opened his mouth to speak but couldn’t find the right words. His eyes met Dean’s and instantly Dean realized he had overstepped.
Blaine set his glass down on the stand and turned towards him. He knew he was drunk right now, that he shouldn’t do this and shouldn’t even consider it. Unfortunately, his feelings were beginning to show because his dumb ass brother had popped up out of nowhere during a very vulnerable time.
He raised his hand, gently brushing his cheek in comfort with his thumb. The act startled Dean stiff, his whole body remaining still at his sudden touch. The relationship they both shared was deeper than the rest because they had been together longer than the others.
Blaine was only 16 when Dean was born, the first of many siblings. Dean was also 16 when he first had sex with him. It was something he was forced to do as an initiation, but it ended up becoming something more. Eventually, they had sex on their own outside of their father’s lessons.
The connection he shared with Dean was something that both thrilled him and scared him. He knew now that it was viewed as wrong to think of your brother in this way, but before he thought it was perfectly natural. He still remembered their first time together and he would never forget it. The feeling left him with an emotion he dare not say out loud in fear of it being spoken out of context.
The day he had ended his father’s control over them, was the last time he had slept with him. He made a vow to himself that he wouldn’t end up just as twisted as his father was, but obviously that plan was harder than he anticipated.
“Dean, I need you to know that I really care for you.” He meant it, his words firm but his eyes giving away his emotions.He had broken his rule, speaking those words. Even as he said them, he felt shame as well as a calmness at finally admitting the truth. Dean stared at him, trying to understand what he meant.
“I can’t sleep with you because it isn’t right. I can’t let all of you become just as twisted as our father nor I.”
“That ship sailed brother, as soon as we started sleeping with other people and acting out like it was with you.” Blaine knew he was right, but couldn’t bring himself to accept that they couldn’t be saved.
Dean leaned forward, tempting him with a brush of his fingers on his lips. There was desire lingering, and he was far too gone to care. Still, his insides felt conflicted as he thought of Trey. If Trey found out he was doing something behind his back, he would go on a rampage.
He heard a click and the door opened, startling them both. Trey casually walked in, viewing their actions with interest before taking a seat. He had blood spattered on his shirt, only covered up by his jacket before he threw it off and pulled at his tie.
“What happened to you?” Dean asked.
“Bad client, rough week. Looks like things were getting heavy between you two. Can I join?”Dean looked startled by the suggestion, a blush reaching his cheeks as Blaine searched for a sign of hidden intention. If there was, he didn’t find it with his well-placed mask.
“Sure,” Blaine spoke, surprising Dean.
“But you just said…”
“It’s what Trey wants, so I’m okay with it if he is.” Dean looked between them both, realizing he had just hit a nerve. Whatever was going on, it was best he stay out of it.
“I think I will go, Trey looks tired.”
Trey approached Dean, pulling him to his feet and sliding his fingers under his shirt and up over his chest. His eyes remained on Blaine even as he spoke confidently under the kisses he planted against Dean’s neck.
“You’ve been drinking? Did last time not satisfy you?”
His words sparked an anger inside Blaine but were starting to smother out with each of Dean’s moans as his hands moved to his crotch and buttocks, rubbing them provokingly.
“Really? You’re acting like a child,” Blaine retorted.
“A child who’s hungry for something to quell his rage.”
There was a dangerous glint in his eyes, a challenge saying this is who I am, can you handle it? In all his emotion and confusion, he had forgotten something fundamental about being in a relationship. He wasn’t the only one who had fetishes, had a history, a past, and many reasons to fall deeper into sin.
“Then you better take responsibility.”
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