...
Well, this was a nightmare.
Thirty minutes later, I was back at home, throwing on just my pants, carrying my boxers and shirt tightly in my fist as I drifted back in through the doorway. Most of the household was awake now, but I must’ve had something on my face as I walked to my room, as nobody dared to bother me. No hello or morning or good morning.
Nothing.
Or maybe they had.
Maybe I just didn’t hear it.
Maybe I couldn’t.
I showered and changed, for once, taking an extraordinary ten minutes to stare at my shirts, as if they were suddenly ranking from worst to best. In what, I had no idea. I knew that it usually, on any random normal day, it took only a half of a minute for me to decide. This was not one of those days, which gave me a bad, foreboding feeling in my gut. I eventually threw one on, only to catch my reflection and immediately remove it for another one.
Why?
I had no clue.
When I finally emerged from my room, wearing the third shirt I tried on, which was literally the same as the first two but in a different color, I had my first conversation. Though, it was less of me talking, and more of me being silent.
“How was your run?”
In all honesty, I wasn’t even sure who asked. Feminine voice, which meant not my dad or uncle. That was it. Nothing else. It left many women in the household. Cousin. Aunt. Sister. Mom.
I shrugged in response, staring at my food as if it were a mortal enemy of mine. My brows scrunched over my eyes and I pursed my lips. I felt my hands slowly curl into fists as I fought to control the urge to go right back outside… and then run all the way to the spot I lost sight of her, and search. But I couldn’t. There was no way that I could do something like that. Because what if I ended up liking… if I…
No.
I willed myself not to think of it.
I snatched the bacon from the plate in front of me and stood, suppressing a growl that wanted to escape.
This was not going to be a good day.
“Thanks.” I held up the bacon like I was making a toast with a glass and then shoved in within my mouth and started for the front door this time. It would be quite a while before I could use the back door, I thought to myself, after the events of this morning that I’ve had. I didn’t even want to think about how this was going to affect my morning runs. I likely wouldn’t be able to do them for a while.
Which sucked. Majorly.
I loved running as a wolf.
“Hey.”
Hand. On my shoulder.
I whipped around to look at the source.
Oh.
My heartbeat settled again after a few seconds.
“Are you alright?”
Mom.
“Sorry. It’s just been a weird morning…” I said it, but I couldn’t meet her eyes.
Why?
I asked it to myself, but I didn’t know the answer. It was like it was the location in a treasure map that didn’t have the ‘x’ marking the spot. I only had guesses.
Was it because I wasn’t like her?
Was it because I would’ve given almost anything to not ever meet my True Mate?
Was it because I was afraid I’d like or even fall in love with my True Mate? Was it because that thought made me angry?
She had dad. They were great. They were happy. They were a prime example of True Mates… and I wanted nothing to do with that. I didn’t want…
My hands were fists again. When I saw her look at them, I forced them to unfurl.
“You went on a run, didn’t you? What happened?”
I met her eyes. Concern was on her face. I sighed, knowing I’d put that worry there, and hugged her instead of telling her everything, being careful to be gentle with my strength.
“Nothing worth noting. I’m alright.”
“Are you sure?” It was a serious tone, and when she pulled back from the hug, I knew she didn’t believe me at all. She tilted her head in that tell-tale sign that she was going to continue asking until I gave her a satisfactory answer.
“Mom, nothing happened.”
I was just as stern, in expression and tone and I turned to leave as fast as I could, which was faster than she could catch my wrist or hand.
“Will!”
And then I left the house, my mind still reeling about that run, about those woods, about the eyes that bored into me from the edge of the clearing. How they widened before looking away and disappearing.
She’d disappeared.
It wasn’t possible if she’d been just a regular wolf shifter. She knew I was going to catch her; I knew I was going to. So, her hand had been forced. She was a twin. That was all I knew. I wished I could un-know it.
I wanted to hit something just for the sake of hitting something. Just to expend some of this extra anxious energy I’d gained.
I arrived… at work. It was an odd job today, since I wasn’t on patrols until later. It was good work… when you’re not distracted every ten seconds. The third time I hammered my thumb in the span of thirty minutes, muttering a curse under my breath, I wasn’t alone in my misery any longer, unfortunately.
There was a lot of ‘you alright’ and ‘you feeling okay’ and them trying to swap out the job I had with theirs… which involved a lot less of objects that can hit appendages. Like hammers. Less hammers.
It took several calls of my name, which went unheard, before a hand gently clasped my shoulder, making me jump. I stared at the one responsible, eyes wide until I remembered where I was. I let out an involuntary sigh, only to see concern light up on his face.
Oh great.
Not you too.
“You’re distracted, Will. I don’t think I’ve seen you like this before. Are you alright?”
I ignored most of what he was saying and responded carefully.
“Ah. Sorry. There’s just been something on my mind, that’s all. What were you saying?”
He didn’t waste any time in saying it. “Take the day off. We can pick this up–”
No.
Not going to happen. I waved a hand and cut him off, speaking quickly.
“I’d prefer to keep working.”
“Will, it’s okay to take breaks, you know?”
“Not right now. Not for me.” I didn’t elaborate. But I couldn’t. Not today. “I want to keep working.”
He left it at that and let me get back to work.
After I got the hang of using a hammer, letting muscle memory kick in, wondering faintly if my finger was going to be purple for the rest of my life, I took an early break, mainly because the others were practically yelling at me to do so after I’d made too many mistakes.
Didn’t remember much of it.
And then it was back to work…
Until someone came over and knocked on the doorframe, calling my name.
“What’s up?”
Silence.
I didn’t add anything more to my words until she spoke first.
“You… You forgot?” Her eyes were huge all of a sudden.
For some odd reason, I felt guilty.
“Forgot… what?”
Since everyone was not-so-secretly listening to us, there was then a chorus of responses to my confused one. I had no idea what was going on. What did I forget? What was I supposed to be doing, that I didn’t do?
My mind scoured through every bit of knowledge within my brain as fast as it could and still came up empty.
“You were going to come help out an hour ago. Remember?”
It clicked. In my incredibly slow brain, courtesy of this morning, it finally clicked. I muttered a few choice words under my breath and nodded.
“Yeah. I remember now. Sorry. Been one of those mornings.”
I followed her out and down the street, but while the silence had never bothered me before, now it was killing me. It was too quiet. Our pace was too slow. Everything just felt off.
“Okay, now… I wasn’t going to mention this, but, uh…”
I looked at her as her voice trailed off. Only for her to stop in her tracks.
“Mention what?” I asked, stopping to face her.
“Will. You’ve been helping me out twice a month for years. You have never, not once, forgotten the days.”
I pursed my lips. This wasn’t going in a direction I liked. She was too smart. She’d figure it out whether I told her or not. She put her hands on her hips and stared me down. If it had been anyone else, I wouldn’t have felt intimidated. But Anya was definitely a force to be reckoned with. I mean, she could literally control fire. Literally. I avoided her gaze like the plague.
“Anya, it’s just–”
“Dude. You don’t have ‘one of those mornings’. Ever. What’s going on?” She sighed when I didn’t respond. “Jeez. Whatever it is, if it’s big enough to throw you off, it usually means it’s really big. Seriously, nothing ever fazes you.” She gestured to a building that was recently rebuilt. “You didn’t even bat an eye when that place went up in flames. I mean, I didn’t because I’m basically fire-proof, but you… How can you not hesitate to go into burning buildings – keeping in mind your exact location as you do, take on all of these random jobs all the time and recall each plan perfectly despite all the differences, do patrol almost every day, and then magically not remember something you’ve done before without fail for years?”
I finally looked at her as she turned and began walking again. The words took their time finding me.
“I just… ran into someone I haven’t seen in a while.” Or ever, I added in my mind.
I tried to bluff, using some of the truth.
She snorted, not entirely believing me.
“More like you ran into your True Mate or something.”
She was joking.
She was joking and she hit it right on the mark. And now I was seeing those eyes again. Looking at me, staring into my own… vanishing. I pursed my lips. When I didn’t reply, she gave me a strange look.
“Wait… really?” Her eyes widened more. “Holy crap! We’re gonna get donuts and you’re gonna eat one, alright. You need to eat.”
I held back a laugh. She must’ve thought that I would forget to eat while I forgot everything else in my life.
“Yeah, okay.”
She whistled, shaking her head.
“Did not see that coming…” she muttered.
By the time I returned home, I was tired. And anxious. And scared. And everything else that I shouldn’t have been feeling upon learning I met my True Mate this morning. I showered and toweled dry, staring into the mirror as I ran it over my hair.
I kept seeing those eyes.
It was throwing me off.
Despite it all, there was one person I wanted to see, but the thought of her made my hands still.
What would happen when we saw each other again? What if I told Lynn everything? What would she do?
A chill settled in my chest.
Maybe I didn’t want to know.
Maybe it was better that I didn’t go see her yet, not with this new discovery hanging over my head.
I just needed to find my rhythm again. I needed to go back to normal. Watching myself in the mirror, I nodded firmly. That’s what I would do. Normal.
I paused again.
What was normal for me again?
Comments (0)
See all