Arc 1: A whole new world

Is it because this is a forest? Days are never too hot; nights are chilly for April’s summer. Each dawn, after memories were done tormenting me in sequels as if drawing an epilogue on my past, the chirping of birds felt refreshing. Yawning in an unladylike manner, I took some time admiring the golden sunlight peeking through the leaves and the shadows cast by them creating an illusion of a luxurious carpet on the ground. Who was here to judge me anyway?

Surprisingly enough, the forest was void of life except trees and birds. While wondering if mammoths passing through was an occasional thing, I decided to train here until I was capable of a few particular actions. Aiming with my blade, lighting a fire, climbing trees and rope art was of utmost priority. As I was a decent player of darts, I had some confidence in using the sling, but moving preys disturbed me. I avoided the bamboo bush like thorny trees because of my intuitive fear and practiced climbing on thick mango branches and vines. The mud proved as quite the cleanser for my skin so I chose to roam around naked, not wanting to wear off the limited amount of clothes I had. 

It was the 6^th morning. Seated on a branch, I took bites from a still hanging mango while leisurely plucking the feathers of one of the first birds I actually managed to hunt. I slit its throat and hung upside down, so all the blood could drain out. I learned this process by watching the ‘Sacrifice’ occasion back at Bengal. I was twirling a blade of stainless steel in my hand when suddenly there was a movement. My senses sharpened as I felt a being frantically running, not bothering direction. Before I knew it my blade was pointed towards the rustling bush in preparation. 

Jokes turned on me as a slightly bigger than normal rabbit stumbled into view. Alert ears, restless eyes, snow white fur stained in dirt, it limped to the riverbank as if injured. Others might find this scene peaceful and cute, but I? I was starving. The hearty meat-loaf pouncing around was only provoking me. But something felt off. How did it suddenly appear in this lifeless forest? Its not a god or smth, right? Piosoned maybe? Can I kill it? 

The moment my blade left my hand though, a thing so miraculous happened, I struggled to believe anything was real.

Seconds- no milliseconds before it touched the prey, a white silhouette several feet in length pounced out of the bush, tearing its flesh and spilling the contents of its stomach on the riverbank. That wasn’t even the last gore to entertain today. An alligator shot out of the river, its mouth wide open and chomped down on the white figure’s hind leg, giving me chills. I never knew alligators to be hiding in that oh-so clear river. I even took a few baths there! Was the clarity an illusion? What type of damned world did I get myself into? 

The blade I sent flying miraculously dodged everyone and struck on the alligator’s spinal column at the same time the white figure dug his claw in its brain, causing it to die on spot and release the bite on him. His massive body hit the ground releasing a guttural roar that made the hair on my body stand in alert. He was a majestic white- almost silver ‘Bengal’ tiger with a long scar across his left cheek.

In only a moment 3 bodies were lying before me, 2 dead 1 injured. 

Dead was good. But the injured had me confused. Should I treat him? He isn't a trained tiger. He could instantly... he’s bleeding so much... I couldn’t fathom. I killed the alligator without batting eye; I was also lusting after the hare, why did his injury bother me so? And yes, he was a HE. It was very clear from where I sat.

Advancing in careful steps I found the giant tiger quite miserable, wrinkling the corner of his eyes in pain. Fortunately, no part of his flesh was pulled open, only his hind limb and a part of his stomach had holes punctured in them in the shape of an alligator’s jaw. Blood was gushing out like a volcano. If I want him alive I’ll need to stop the bleeding now! But first, let’s make sure he won’t bite the hand of his benefactor.

“Um… Mr. Tiger? Are you ok?” I kneeled in a safe distance, whispering hesitantly. He groaned, perking his ears, eyes yet to open. “Can I touch you? You need help.” I knew it was recklessly childish, asking a wild beast for permission. But his eye shot open as if he understood my words. He blinked as if not believing my existence. He scanned me up then my surrounding as if wondering why I was even here. His steel silver pupils dilated into black pools, so intense with confusion and worry, I forgot how I was supposed to fear him. Was it reason enough to stop him with bare hands as he tried to get up? I was insane!

Moving in inhuman motion as if I was possessed, I added dry leaves to the plucked feathers and mango peels I had piled up before, moved them beside him and used my gaslighter to light a fire. “Good thing you didn’t lose an organ or I’d have to heat up my blade and press it on the wound. It could've been a sight much more pain worthy. For now dabbing your wounds with ashes should work.” That’s how they do it in the ancient timeline novels. Fortunately it proved somewhat effective.

Felines only hunt when hungry. The rabbit was yet to be cleaned and the alligator was impossible for me to skin, so I quickly brought him my prey bird. 

“This is a token of my friendship. If you accept, I’ll believe you’ve taken a liking to me.” 

In response, his face turned so cartoonish, I couldn’t help but chuckle. Did I say something unbelievable? He opened his mouth nonetheless, head tilting forward. 

”You... want me to... feed you?” Seeing his expression immediately turn somber, I added a sarcastic note. ”Oh? Are you tricking me into putting my hand inside your mouth so you can bite it off?”

I had no idea why I was trying to appease him nor why his expressions felt so human, but I had to clutch my belly against laughter that barked out of me when he roared with a horrified expression, shaking his head furiously as if to prove himself innocent of my accusation. He reminded me of the stray white kitten I used to feed from my window. I once told it to stop bothering me while cooking and go die, he really jumped off a building. I had named it Blue then, complementing its grayish blue eyes. 

If Blue had eyes like the clouded sky then this tiger‘s resemble the gloomy sky right before rainstorm. It really felt as if my kitten had grown into a majestic tiger, waiting to be petted.

Instinct had me ruffling his fur. But then I caught the look in his eyes. O god! What have I done? No matter how much I hallucinate this isn’t Blue but a wild beast. Maybe because I had a history of emotional turmoil that I could decipher his gaze. Joy? Longing? Loneliness? Insecurity? Care? Something deeper? I never knew animals could express that many emotions. I was definitely hallucinating!

A pair of black flickering light in several parts like a fine black diamond, a pair of silver reflecting sunlight like a sparkling crystal, each dilated to the point of breaking out of their own shells, stared at each other as if nothing else mattered. Any passerby would be able to tell, basking in that ethereal pattern of golden sun and grey shadows, something new was blossoming between the two beings of contrasting race.

The rhythm of water and twitter of birds were the only sounds around until they were not. Sensing the absurd tension, I snatched my petting hand away and stuffed the bird inside his mouth. “Mr. Tiger, can you wait a few minutes?” What am I, a teenager having her first ‘sha lala’ moment? Well, at the age of 19, I was technically still a teenager. But in front of me was a tiger! No amount of human like expressions will turn him into one. Treat him with whatever dignity you have left, you s*x starved woman!

“I’ll go get some… uh…” I cleaned the rabbit with years of expertise, all sense of disgust vanished in the moment of awkwardness. I tied it to my waist with another pouch of mangoes and rushed towards my cave. I had to get rid of those extra baggage as well as bring back the vines I’ve smoothed so I can tie and drag him into my hideout. Animals tend to be loyal to their benefactors, no? If I feed him right, won’t he help me fend off other predators?

The road was of 45 minutes but I rushed to make it in 30, still I found him in the process of standing, his head turned the way he appeared from as if he was planning to return. Suddenly his back looked very much like my Blue, who left to play somewhere only to be found as a corpse bitten by some rabid dog the next morning. Immense fear and grief gripped my heart from the memory so blindingly- I tackled the wild tiger to the ground, held his head with both hands and yelled, “What do you think you’re doing?! Ghosting me? Is it because I smell? It’s just a disguise, hey, sniff my hair. That's my real scent!” 

My hands instinctively tugged open my bun for him. ”I promise to not pester or annoy, spend more time with me, hmm? I’m really good with cats, I’ll be good to you too.” My yelling had ceased to whispers somewhere in the midst as I lay clinging to his neck fur, trembling. I stopped having panic attacks years ago, but Blue’s memories momentarily had me stirred.

When I finally came to, weirdly enough, I didn’t feel scared. It was rather comforting. He smelled almost like lemonades. “Damn, you’d make a good bed. So warm and soft.”

“Roar?” the small grunt like roar sounded like a shy ‘What?’ to me. By now, I was sure he won’t hurt me. Deciding to live the life of PI, I sat back up and smiled at him just to find him avoiding my eyes. Is he… blushing? His heartbeat felt abnormal too. What the- 

It was hard to take him as just a beast if he acted like that. “Let’s get you moving. Don’t you wanna visit my home?” For a cat his size, he was oddly light and convenient to carry.

***

We were preparing for a brief respite. 

After fighting rootless beasts all night to rescue a bear female, my exhausted team found a cave for the females and sequenced sleeping to guarding outside. 

I always knew that my bigger stature and scars, especially the one on my face, frighten females. So I kept my distance, patrolling the outer section until they fell asleep. On switching shifts, as I was about to doze off, I heard feminine gushing, probably to cheer the recently rescued one: “Have you never played with hares? They're so cute, if a male here brings me one, I might actually agree to be his mate at the celebratory banquet!”

No male would sit still after hearing that, let alone the ugly me, forever rejected by females. I was merely chasing a hare to aid my fate when a string of circumstances blew my wits. 

The atmosphere and scenery strangely changed, a river started out of nowhere. 

A blade of the strangest glint was flying at me. First I thought it was means to snatch my prey. If I am here hearing that female, many other could too. But strangely enough, it hit the alligator, which too materialised from thin air. 

Why did I not sense it coming? Was I that lost in the joy of a possibile mate? 

If the blade didn’t aid, survival would’ve been hard. Not impossible per se. I had 4 stripes of expertise after all.

Then the strangest of all appeared, the owner of the blade. 

“Are you ok?” he excluded. No intimidating intent, proving he was weaker than me. To think I lost a mere hare to such frivolous a beastman who also happened to save my life and was even seeking betterment of my health... the remaining bits of my pride was at loss! I kept my eyes shut and grunted in gratitude, trying to- “Can I touch you? I...” 

I never heard the rest.

A FEMALE?! The field of my sight was brimming a pair of deep feminine gaze as black and twinkling as an eagle’s feathers. I couldn’t tell what her scent or skin color was as she was thoroughly covered in putrid mud, but I could make out her silhouette as she was stark naked. She had a small forehead, straight nose, plump lips, sharp jawline and a nearly flattened stomach. The hint of chub there and around her thighs made her appear likeably healthy.

But why did she seem without a guardian, adorning nothing but that odd sort of blade?

Did she also appear out of air like the rest of the forest? Why is she kneeling? Is she injured? My measly wound had no hinder on my strength. It’d heal in less than a day. Only hassle was I couldn’t transform into my other form until I had healed in full, or the injury might worsen. However, as I attempted to aid her, she... 

She forced me down?! A FEMALE?

She was strangely strong for being one. 

Aren’t they all born weak? Is it not a male’s duty to forever protect them? Then how...

I watched her continuous exploits in complete awe, one after another without a dither or mishap, as if she had had expertise. Not to mention the strange object she used to ignite fire. 

So she’s strong, she's smart, kind- very kind. Not a burden on the eye are her looks… 

Suddenly I was afraid. 

She was too perfect. It felt like a dream. 

Why would an unknown female spare me such attention? Her gaze holds no hostility, no motive, is it possible? I must be sleeping with my team now dreaming her up; or is it the scorpion’s poison and I’m hallucinating?

“If you accept this I’ll believe you’ve taken a liking to me.” 

Or so she says.

Taken a liking? How could I not? She was the first person to be ever so munificent to me. But why? 

Have we had a prior encounter? Did I do a great deed for her and forget? 

It wasn’t possible. Every female I rescued and protected, every face of fear, repulsion and rejection was vivid in my memory. 

This has to be a dream! 

If so, musn't I enjoy while it lasts? It's only an offering of food.

So I accessed her my mouth. Only to… 

"You want me to feed you?” 

My fantasy was shattered. 

She must be disgusted. She’s bound to. What did I take myself for? I don’t deserve a female’s warmth even in my dreams... 

Or so what I believed. 

“Are you tricking me into putting my hand inside your mouth so you can bite it off?” 

“No!” -I roared. Why would anyone? I'm no rootless! If she's so afraid of me, what show was it with such endearing countenance? She was truly a lovely dream. Thoughts of her fearing me hurt. Surely, I never asked for anyone to fear me, but my regards of her was startlingly deep. 

I shook my head on instinct. Some how I felt affixed to her. I wanted to pursue this fixation, her affection; even if it was all a dream. Let’s transform and speak my heart. I found the courage only because it was a dream. What bad could happen to an injury inside a dream?

I barely attempted the process when she surprised me once again, ruffling the fur on my head as one does to a cub. How endearing was her laughter, her gaze, that gesture -proving her lack of fear; I had no words to express. If I died here, I would die happy. I prayed to never awake and lose this warmth, lose her. When even the stench on her body started to smell sweet, I couldn’t deny. I was long gone.