It may surprise you, but I'm very demanding. To make me happy, neither expensive jewelry, fancy clothes or branded shoes, food, drink or even all the money in the world will do. These things bring a fleeting happiness, soon they lose their charm.

Even if I had everything this world has to offer, I would still be terribly miserable.

Nothing satisfies me but the Presence of God.

But my flesh does not cooperate, it never feels like praying, fasting or reading the Bible. I force myself to do it unwillingly and then I feel an inexplicable happiness. The flesh is lazy, it wants instant pleasure rather than having to make an effort to get it. 

Every now and then, I notice that I took God from the first place in my life, this happens so subtly that when I realize I was so distracted by something to the point of leaving My Lord aside.

Usually at these times, as I continue to pray and read the Word, slowly I begin to see that although I am doing right, my heart is not there. The biggest sign of distancing yourself from God is a void that nothing fills, so I solve the riddle and find out what the problem is!

So I repent, ask for forgiveness and help to put Him first again! It pisses me off every time this happens, I get disappointed in myself.

Then I remember that the important thing isn't whether I fall or not, because inevitably we all fall because we are flawed. The important thing is to always get up!

"for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes."

Proverbs 24:16 NIV.