“Alright,” Lucas started. “I’m here to assess the top assistants of your bosses.”

In front of him were over a handful of people of various shapes, sizes, and attitudes. Bosses had sent an assistant each for Lucas to evaluate. 

“So you're the BED assistant? The one for Aven.”

“Yes sir,” said a tall woman with a bag of chips in her hands and leg weights attached to her legs and arms.

“Let’s see… we have Ella Burnette,” Lucas said, pointing to the woman.

“You’ve had two hosts… and you are one of the best in your division.” He looked up from the clipboard. “Good job.”

“Thank you, sir!” Ella said enthusiastically. “An honor to be one of the best BED reps!”

“A real honor to be such a fathead!” shouted one of the anorexia reps from across the room. Lucas turned and groaned before moving on.

“Debbie’s depression rep?” he asked, looking at a girl in a very oversized sweater with messy light brown hair that swept over her face.

“Yes sir,” she yawned.

“Let’s see… One host, atypical depression… Looks like you don’t show up to meetings about 40%-60% of the time though.”

“I try my best…”

“I bet you do.” He went to the next one in line. “Max’s anxiety assistant, Ann Williams?”

“That’s me,” Ann nodded.

“Impressive…” Lucas nodded with a smile. “Great job on your host, all the work filed away, and…” Lucas stopped dead in his tracks.

“Is there… um… something wrong…?” she asked anxiously. Lucas didn’t respond for a moment. “Um… Mr. DuCarmont-

“No, sorry,” he shook his head. “I’m just looking at your 87 hours of overtime this year… I may need a conversation with Max.”

“Sir, it’s really no-”

“Next,” he interrupted, walking over to the person next to her. He was a slender man dressed in black leather and makeup. His eyes had a multicolor swirl within them. “Schizophrenia rep, right? Skip and Sophie’s assistant.”

“Yeah, that’s right,” he nodded. “Granger.”

“Says here that you often run out of work without notice, right?”

“That’s right,” Granger confirmed. “Sometimes I see things, Mr. DuCarmont. Things that nobody else does.”

“Schizophrenia will do that,” Lucas mumbled. “It looks like you’ve got a good record with keeping up your workload though, so keep it up.”

“I plan to, sir,” he said, darting his eyes over to a corner of the room and balling his fists.

“Soli, the night terrors and sleepwalking rep?” he asked, moving on to a small boy in a pajama onesie. 

The boy wordlessly nodded.

“Your report is a bit concerning,” Lucas said, scratching his chin. “Bailey’s said that you file paperwork like a beast, but… We’ve got reports of you also terrorizing other reps in their sleep too. Is that right?”

“Mhm,” Soli nodded.

“Any reason?”

“Practice for the job,” he whispered softly.

“Hmph, we’ll talk more about this later,” Lucas huffed, writing something down for later. He moved on to the anorexia rep. Or, at least where the anorexia rep was supposed to be.

“Who’s seen Rex’s assistant?” Lucas asked the line of reps.

“I think she’s in the hospital again,” Ella said.

“I saw her on a stretcher the other day,” Ann nodded.

“Goodness,” Lucas groaned, rubbing his temples and scribbling all over the clipboard. “Rex said she’s doing ok, so I’ll just mark her as acceptable in the records.”

“When’re you getting to me?” complained the next woman in line.

“Right now,” he growled. “Jennifer, the narcissistic personality disorder rep.”

“Yeah,” she snarled. Lucas could see why Beatrice put her as her assistant. She already acted like Beatrice the Sequel.

“It’s written down that you’ve gotten multiple complaints about you being cruel, saying some questionable things, and even assaulting some people who’ve spoken out against you.”

“Ok, ‘assault’ is a bit much,” Jennifer rolled her eyes. “I slapped that bitch.”

“That’s all I need to hear,” Lucas said, moving on.

“Hey, hey, wait, I-”

Lucas waved his hand and Jennifer was gone. It left him to continue on to the last of the assistants to evaluate. Dallas’ assistant.

“Your name’s Andy, the suicide/depression rep, right,” he asked, looking at the kid who looked to be a year or two younger than Dallas was. Unlike Dallas though, Andy had a bright smile on his face.

“Yeah,” the boy nodded. “Anything wrong?”

“Nope, everything looks alright,” Lucas told him, putting a smile on his own face and walking out in front of them all. “Congratulations, most of your evaluations went great. One or two of you may receive a pay cut in the coming days. You’re all dismissed.”