So today is about supporting Ben.

I pick up my phone, ignore the notifications and text Julia, my best friend.

Bella Meier

(06:16) HAPPY CHRISTMAS. Be thankful you don’t have siblings who have their own child. I tired. Alexander threw a pillow at me. Enjoy sleep. Bye. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Alex and Mayres we can’t wake them up until at least 7:30. It’s 6:17 now. I get up and open my curtains to find the world still dark, tingled yellow from the street lamps. I fall back into bed and put the radio on. It’s playing a quiet hymn for once, instead of ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You.’ It’s nice. Alexander is spinning around my desk chair and a choir singing ‘Silent Night’, my eyes are closing again and now Alexander’s sitting in my bed with me, the musical card on a pile of clothes on the floor, it’s 6:39, 6:49, 6:56 …Alexander’s pulling my hair gently, he’s talking about what presents he wants and whether Father Christmas ate the biscuits we left him and I’m mumbling something, I don’t know what, I’m drifting off … And then my bedroom door opens again.

‘…Annabella?’

I wake up for the tenth time. It’s Ben, just visible in the dim light standing at the door in a navy Adidas sweatshirt and checked pyjama bottoms. He looks tired but he’s smiling. ‘You awake?’

‘No,’ I say. ‘I’m having an out-of-body experience. I’m just my ghost.

Ben snorts and enters my room. I turn to Alexander, who has fallen asleep against my shoulder, and give him a little nudge with my elbow. He snaps awake and sees his dad.

DAD’S HERE!’ He yells and charges from the bed towards him, slamming into Ben’s legs and almost cause him to fall over. Ben laughs and picks Alexander up like he’s a baby, which he does at least once a day, causing him to giggle. ‘Wow, you’re very awake, aren’t you?’

‘Can we go downstairs yet?’