At the end of the day, Dick pulled into Care’s driveway with the bass turned to the point where Viktor and Care could feel it through the floor. Viktor said goodbye to Care and gave him a hug before he got into Dick’s van. Dick graciously turned the volume down as Viktor entered to avoid hurting his sensitive ears. 

“How was it?” Dick asked. Viktor shrugged.

“Okay, I guess. One of the cats ripped my skin and ate it. I know cats are dumb and stuff but it still hurt my feelings a little,” Viktor replied. He showed Dick the chunk of missing flesh that would never heal. 

“It’ll be fine. Franky will put some resin in there and you’ll be good as new,” Dick said. He nodded towards the glove-box that was filled with CDs. “You want to pick something to listen to?”

Viktor smiled, and started to dig through the compartment looking for his favorite albums.

As Dick pulled up to the hospital sidewalk, quiet as Franky had instructed, he waved Dr. Mildred goodbye. 

“Good work today, honey. I know you’ll make a great surgeon someday. You’re brave, and smart, and kind…Have a good rest tonight, okay?” she said to him.

“I won’t let you down, Doctor,” Franky said with an exasperated sigh. “I’ll look into Inverness’ case more tonight and get back to you tomorrow.”

Dr. Mildred’s stance faltered in her failure to get Franky to calm down. “I’m looking forward to hearing about it,” she said. They shook hands and parted ways, just before Dr. Mildred noticed the tail of a fish sticking out of Franky's sweater pocket. 

“Hey, Franky,” Dick said as Franky entered the backseat. Without looking back at him, he handed Franky a note between two fingers. After Franky took it, Dick started to drive off. Franky's eyes widened as he read the address. 

“The Valian’s Cult?!” he said in surprise. “Who gave you this? Are you going to visit?”

“What’s that?” Viktor asked, looking over at Dick. Dick continued to stare blankly at the road. 

“I was thinking about admitting the three of us into it,” he said. “What do you think?”

While Franky sounded almost angry at first, Dick could see his face lighting up in the rearview mirror. He thought a bloody cult at the hands of a demon was exactly Franky's style. Even if the leader probably wasn’t a real god, Franky would buy into it anyway, kiss his boots at the entrance and do his bidding at the wave of a scythe. Viktor didn’t seem like he’d enjoy it very much, but he might’ve liked to get out of the house on Tuesdays.

“Of course I’ll join! I’ve had personal relations with many demons, even though I’ve never met Ted. I always wished I could, but I didn’t know how to get in. Why are you interested? I didn’t think you’d like the crowd. Or, you know, leaving the house,” Franky said.

“I’m bored,” Dick said. “Some weird chicks came into the House today and gave me the address. I thought we could join for fun and get away with…I don’t know, kicking old people or something.”

“Okay! I’m down! Let’s go! Right now!” Franky waved his hands in excitement and jumped in his seat. Viktor kept staring at Dick, waiting for his answer, his eyes wide in worry.

“Dick?” Viktor said, his voice quiet.

“It’s just a stupid cult, Vik,” Dick replied in a sigh. “You don’t have to do anything. But I don’t want you to stay at home alone. You might meet some new friends there.”

“But…isn’t that cult for, like, adults?”

“None of us are adults, buddy. Anyone who falls for that shit is probably an idiot anyway. No offense, Franky.”

“But Dick, you are an adult. And so is Franky. And I’m almost there.”

Dick thought for a moment, realizing he owned a house and a car. He was 18, which meant he was a legal adult--an aspect of himself he often forgot about. “Oh yeah.”

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart,” Franky said, leaning into the front seat to hold Viktor’s hand. “Dick and I will protect you.”

“Not that anyone will try for your head or anything. I think,” Dick said.

Viktor sighed, knowing their comfort was cold in the face of a cult he wanted nothing to do with but was forced to anyway. He realized his fear was hollow since he was already dead, and if he died again, Franky would probably just bring him back…again. And if it didn’t work for whatever reason, he’d just go back to floating in the pitch black, which was probably better for him.

Dick drove to the yellow house Cynthia directed him to. It was the biggest house on the block and subsequently the nicest-looking, but the shades were drawn inside and the porch lights turned off. The three of them stepped out, walking across the brick pavement through the freshly-cut grass. Dick knocked on the door. They heard shuffling behind the door and, in unison, leaned in to hear inside. Dick knocked again. “Let us in please,” he said, looking through the peephole. There was a bright blue eye peeking through at the other end.

Then they heard the door unlock, but no one opened it for them. So Dick opened it himself, revealing a girl standing there in the dark. All the lights were turned off. The girl was cowering in fear, backing away from Dick as he stepped inside.

“Dude, why are you hanging around in the dark?” Dick said. He reached around the wall and turned the entryway lights on. The girl flinched; finally picking up on her hints, Dick put his palms up and backed away. “We’re not here for anything nefarious. We want to join your cult,” he said in a gentle tone. She cocked an eyebrow, her curiosity seemingly peaked.

"What’s the password?” she said. Dick and Franky glanced at each other.

"Umm…the Valian’s Cult?” Dick said. The girl’s tense posture dropped, her eyes softened, and she started to smile.

“Good! Sorry for the trouble. Lots of people try to get into the house, so we saw your creepy van and thought you were one of them,” she said. Two other women rose from behind the counter, approaching the door where Dick and his roommates stood. One of them was standing on two furry brown goat-like legs, and had a pair of swirling horns atop her head. Her pale blonde hair almost reached her hooves, and her red dress made for humans seemed to stretch thin to fit her legs. As she neared, Dick, Viktor, and Franky could only stare at her features in shock and confusion.

“Hi! I’m Lupita!” she said, reaching out to shake their hands. Dick gingerly took it, but barely gave a shake before releasing. 

“Umm…what’s with the costume?” he said. She looked down at her legs, her hands reaching up to touch her horns.

“Oh! It’s…it’s not a costume,” she replied, blushing a little. “I’m a demon.”

“But…I thought…Ted was the only demon on earth,” Dick said in disbelief. 

“Well, that’s what they all say. There’s no way for us to know. Technically, I was here before him. I brought him here because my father wanted someone to lead an earthly cult in his likeness, organized by me, but…Ted lost sight of why he came here, and now they worship him instead,” Lupita explained.

“Your father…?”

“Lucifer.”

Dick reared back in shock, while Franky leaned forward with a grin on his face. “You’re Lucifer’s daughter?” he said in awe. “This is so neat! You’ve got to tell us all about it--”

“If you join,” she said, a smirk creeping onto her face. “You’ll learn everything you need to know.”

“Well, that’s what we came here for, so…” Dick mumbled. Lupita took his hand, leading the three to the basement, which was finished in a rich red. The trim was glittery gold, the ceiling tiles were clean and reflective, and the sofas and chairs around the room were composed of shiny crushed velvet. It was a stark contrast to the humble two-story upstairs, which looked to be recently-built, but nothing special or fancy. Lupita led them to a room decorated in sparkling gold decals of dark angels and monstrous beasts. A gold plate on the center read “The Viper Room.” Lupita knocked, waited for the click of the lock, and opened the door.

A tall demon sat on the couch, slender legs crossed and a leather-clad arm resting on the back of the sofa. Two slim black horns protruded from his curly hair; he held a smoking cigar limply in his hand. He was smirking, his bright white pupils illuminating his whole face, as he blew a puff of smoke. “Fitzsimmons, are you?” he said, his voice as rich as the red color of the room. Dick brushed the wrinkles out of his hoodie.

“Y-yes, sir,” he said in a feeble tone. His hands instinctively intertwined, and he shoved them into his pockets. The demon raised a hand at Dick, turning his palm up, and gesturing with two fingers to approach. Dick did as he was told, and the demon tilted Dick’s chin towards his face, brushing his bangs away from his eyes. As he analyzed the face so reminiscent of a past member, he grinned a smile filled with daggers, then his slender blue tongue licked them clean. 

“I could tell,” he said. “Why don’t you have a seat? All three of you.” 

He nodded towards the sofa across from him, and Dick, Charley, and Viktor all sat down. He cocked his head like a puppy, right before a pair of wings sprouted from his back. The sharp horns on each end were raised to scratch his scalp; he took note of his prophets’ shocked faces, and his shoulders slumped. “Never seen a demon before, have you?” he said. 

“Not before Lupita, no,” Dick said. He turned towards the door to look for Lupita’s approval, but she was gone, and the door was shut. Tensed even more, Dick looked back at the demon, and sank back into the sofa.

“I’m Ted Ramirez,” the demon said. “But you probably knew that before you came here. And why did you come here, you three?”

“We want to join your cult,” Dick said. Ted’s painted nails clicked against his hard leather boots as he cocked an eyebrow.

“Why’s that?” he said. Dick glanced at his roommates out of the corner of his eye, who seemed to be waiting for his response. He awkwardly brushed his hands on his knees, trying to think of what to say. 

“Well…I…I’m just bored. I want to do something fun. And I’m not very good at anything other than…sitting around. So no one really knows me unless they recognize me like you did. I…hope you can teach me how to be memorable, in…in a nefarious way,” Dick said. Ted nodded.

“Like your father?” he said.

“No. Better.”

Ted’s serious expression softened, and he clapped his hands together with a light giggle. “I like you!” he exclaimed, his eyes glowing brighter. “You’re spunky. I love your confidence.”

“What, you don’t think I can do it?” Dick’s voice lowered, and sensing his rising irritation, Ted’s face turned stone again, and he folded his hands as if he were praying.

“Everyone wants to do it, Dick,” he said. “Everyone on earth wants to be the best, and every Valian wants to be the worst. Of course I think you can do it. But it takes a lot of physical and mental work. Imagine how bad I had to be in my human life to become the King of Hell. That’s what you’re working towards. So take of that what you will. It’s your cult, sweetheart.”

Dick let out a shallow sigh, looking down at the clean carpet. “Will you help me, then?” he asked sheepishly. Ted’s rosy pink lips curled into a sweet smile.

“Of course I will, honey,” he said. “Your father wasn’t worse than me. He wasn’t even worse than some other Valians at the time.”

“You knew him?” 

“Very well.”

Before Dick could say anything, Ted looked to Dick’s side, where Franky was staring at him in fascination. “And you, Mr. Manson? What do you think you want out of your cult?” Ted said. Franky grinned seeing Ted talking directly to him.

“Well, I want an excuse to be maniacal,” he said, wringing his hands nervously. “I--I mean, I already am maniacal, but not in public. I can’t just kill someone for no reason, so if I’m a Valian, then I won’t be persecuted by the full extent of the law!”

Ted stared at him confusedly, almost in a grimace. “No, you definitely will,” he said. 

“But anyway, I want to serve you and do anything for you,” Franky continued. Dick rolled his eyes. “Even if it means psychologically damaging myself by killing innocent civilians and feeding them to you like a mother bird.”

Dick could tell that, just like him, Ted was disturbed by Franky's unconventional motives for cultish behavior, but he was trying to be polite about it. “Dandy,” he said in a sigh. “And you’re an aspiring surgeon, I know?”

“It would be nice, but I’d rather feed human kidneys to snakes than put them into other people. I don’t shadow surgeons because I want to be one of them and make a lot of money and help people, or whatever. I want to learn about the human body so I can perform experiments on them,” Franky said. He tilted Viktor’s face up with one finger below his chin. “I made Viktor, you know. Well…I didn’t create him. I brought him back to life after he died.”

Ted laughed, almost in a condescending manner. “I know,” he said. Franky's smile faded, and he glanced at Viktor, realizing what he hadn’t accounted before.

“Wait…how’d you know that?” Franky said. 

“Demons know everything. We’re gods. We can shapeshift, and mysticize, and control minds…lots of neat stuff. So even though I’ve never met you before, I was there with you when you grew up. I know everything about you. I know what you did.”

Franky's eyes widened in fear, and his eyes darted around the room, the sins of his life rapidly flashing through his mind. “So…why are you asking us why we’re here?” Viktor chimed in. Ted smiled at him.

“Because it’s polite,” he said. “And you, son?”

Viktor kneaded his hands on his lap, shyly glancing away. “I just wanted to be around Dick and Charley,” he said. “In the nicest way possible, I didn’t really have a choice…”

“Well, we’ll make this place home for you, okay? You’re still a kid, Viktor. There’s nothing to worry about,” Ted said. He stood, and helped Viktor off the couch, before wrapping his arms and wings around him in an embrace. Viktor blushed, gingerly hugging him back. When he stood, Ted shook hands with Dick and Franky, the fangs in his mouth showing through his smile.

“Welcome to our cult, boys,” he said, broadening his shoulders. His wings outstretched at his sides, the light showing through the almost-transparent canvas of skin between the bones. “You’re officially Valians.”

“That’s…that’s it?” Dick said, confused. “There’s no, like, blood sacrifice or anything?”

“That comes on Tuesday, dear,” Ted said, cocking his head slightly. “Come to the basement at midnight, and you can meet your fellow cultmates. We go out after that and commit crimes together, as sacrifices to me. And for you, too.”

“Why Tuesday?” Franky asked.

“Because Tuesdays are cursed by the devil,” Ted replied. “You three have a good night now, okay? I’ll see you then, unless you want to come visit sooner.” 

The three boys waved goodbye as they walked out of the door. Without Ted having to manually shut the door, it closed by itself.