- Flashback -
As I stepped off the plane, a wave of emotions rushed over me. I couldn't believe that I was back in my hometown after spending four years studying in Paris. I felt a mix of excitement and nervousness, unsure of what to expect after being away for so long.
As I made my way through the airport, my heart began to race. I wondered if my friends and family would be there to greet me. I had spoken to them on the phone and through video calls, but it wasn't the same as being able to hug them in person.
As I turned the corner, I saw a group of familiar faces waiting for me.
My heart swelled with joy as I rushed towards them. My mom was the first to embrace me, tears streaming down her face as she held me tight. My dad was next, wrapping me in a bear hug as he welcomed me home.
My friends were all there too, each one with a smile on their face and open arms.
I couldn't believe how much I had missed them and how good it felt to be back in their presence.
The hug was like nothing I had ever felt before. I wanted to cry as I embraced them tightly. I had tried to be strong for so long, but I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I was completely alone, facing the ghosts that were haunting my chest.
"Frounda, stay like this for a while... I don't want Mom and Dad to worry,"
Iyas hugged me tightly. "You cut your hair... we remember what you said before you left."
I repeated what I had said before I left: "I will never give up anything, but I may give up my hair.
If I lose, forget, make a mistake, or love the wrong person, as a punishment to myself."
It's difficult to explain the feeling of being homesick.
It's like a weight on your chest that just won't go away, no matter how much you try to distract yourself.
I remember feeling lost and alone, with no one to turn to. It was a very difficult time for me, and I didn't know how to cope with the pain and sadness that I was feeling.
The heavy weight on my chest seemed to grow with each passing day.
presently
Away from the noise of the city, at a resort, Lisan, Frounda, Lujain, and Iyas are present.
It's not like they're taking a break from the noise of the world or anything like that.
They have just distanced themselves from the noise of the world to listen to the noise of Lisan's heart and the past it holds.
And it's as if what's keeping Lisan from speaking is the world and its noise.
But it's fear that's holding her back. She's afraid of reliving what she went through before she talked about it. She's afraid of trembling and freezing in her place like she did in the past.
She's afraid of speaking out to the point where she doesn't want those she loves to see her in that state.
She's afraid of blaming herself for what she didn't do and blaming herself for her silence.
In truth, she's afraid of her friends seeking revenge for her,
because she knows they know what love is and wouldn't want their friend to suffer because of it.
Because she is the person who taught them about love.
Iyas: You appeared in that appearance and refused to speak... Did you consider us as friends?- He said angrily.
Frounda: Iyas, don't yell like that. I think there's a reason for everything, isn't that right, Lisan?
Lisan, who was silent, began to shed tears gently and her hands started shaking.
Then she smiled faintly and pointed to her trembling hands, saying, "This is the reason."
"I can't even control my hands, so how can I control what I say? And what about how I feel while I'm speaking?
It's not like I don't want to talk. I'm just scared of all of this," she cried softly. "I don't want you to be sad or angry because of me, because it will only make me feel worse. You're my friends. Do you understand?"
Iyas and Frounda held each other's hands, and tears welled up in their eyes.
Each one of them wondered to themselves, "What kind of friend am I to leave you in such a state?"
Lujain sat a little far away, leaning on the side of the couch, wondering: "Is this Lisan? The person who always supported me with love and a smile?" Tears rolled down her face.
She began to approach Lisan to hug her, but both Iyas and Frounda signaled her not to do so.
Because they know well that she will pat Lujain's head like a mother and assure her that there is nothing to worry about. Then she will change the subject and it will be overcome in some way.
They want her to be a child, to cry and mourn as she wishes, to express herself as she wants, and for them to be the support that will reassure her after all of that.
Inside a room in a resort outside the city, Lisan is sitting on her knees with her head bowed down.
Beside her is Lujain, and in front of them are Frounda and Iyas, leaning on the bedspread in the middle of the room. And if you take a look out the window in front of you, you'll see the stars twinkling in the dark sky.
The moon illuminates the darkness as if it is watching and comforting from afar.
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