A barista by day, and a love consultant by night. That is a life Tristan never expected. But here he is, having the time of his life, giving love advice to strangers online.

His next three streams were a blast. While he’s no famous, with only two to four people watching per stream, he didn’t mind. He is content that there are some people out there seeking for his advice and are interested in his content to continue watching.

Work life flourished as well. He was able to integrate his Mr. Loveboy persona to improve his communication skills when talking to customers. He empathized more with the customer depending on the tone of their voice and their external behavior, so he could help them feel better.

It seems that everything was going well in Tristan’s life.

A little too well.

After the next two weeks, Tristan felt like the “honeymoon” phase of streaming was over. He still gains satisfaction helping others, but not as much compared to when he first started.

His Twitter followers and YouTube subscribers had a tiny bump in numbers, but his average viewers remained the same.

Around that time, a small vtuber group circle invited Tristan to join them. That gained him the opportunity to meet and befriend other fellow vtubers, big or small. 

Their uplifting words touches him as they welcomed him to the vtuber community. It helped Tristan to appreciate smaller content creators, as he was guilty of only watching bigger corporate vtubers.

He continued to stream, to give himself and his small audience the entertainment and advice that they wanted.

For the next four weeks, however, Tristan felt like streaming was becoming a chore he had to oblige. 

He started to get annoyed that he had to create and follow a schedule just to stream instead of streaming whenever he wanted. And while he still takes satisfaction answering people’s love problems, he was a little bothered by the lack of submissions he’s receiving.

Sometimes he even had to cancel streams because he had no questions to answer.

He tried his best to stay positive for himself and his small audience. But that tiny, nagging toxic thought of uncertainly if streaming is still for him began to cling on his mind.

Tristan was very thankful that his new vtuber friends cheered his spirits up. Telling him to never give up, give it more time and don’t call it quits already.

Their support motivated Tristan to continue streaming. He will try to enjoy making content as long as his heart desired.

Tristan stared, baffled, at the analytics of his YouTube channel. His mind was trying to fight acceptance and denial on the numbers he’s seeing on his screen.

He tried his best to not get bothered by his lack of growth. But he couldn’t stop checking his vtuber friends’ YouTube subscribers.

Tristan let out a dejected sigh, trying to ignore that tight squeeze in his heart.

He opened the illustration of Mr. Loveboy. He stared at it for a while with a bitter smile.

While Tristan continued to stare at Mr. Loveboy, his eyes gazed at his patient, sweet smile, and the way he stares at Tristan despite his eyes covered by a mask.

He didn’t know why, but there was a piece about Mr. Loveboy that was telling him something. Like it was trying to send a message.

Tristan continued to wonder.

And wonder.

And wonder.

Out of nowhere, he let out a gasp when he realized what he was doing, and physically smacked himself in the head, wincing at the pain.

He looked at his vtuber friends’ YouTube subscribers again. But instead of feeling pity for himself, he felt a small flame in his chest that slowly grew bigger and bigger until it exploded.

Tristan opened the vtuber friends group chat, then went to the vent section. He was about to type when he stopped his fingers, nervousness overtaking his nerves all of a sudden.

But he shook his head to clear his thoughts and continued to type out his question.

“Hey guys, I just want to ask something, you guys can be as honest as you want, I think I need it.”

His friends replied with various degrees of confusion and curiosity, but they let him continue.

“I’m barely growing my audience, and I tried not to overthink about it, but it’s been bothering me for quite a while.

Do you guys have any tips on how to grow?”

His heart pound harder as he sent the message. And the pounding got louder as he waited for their reply, nervousness skyrocketing.

“You can try interacting with your audience more outside of streams :D”

“Stream more days?”

“Try reading love problems that weren’t submissions!! There’s plenty on Reddit!!!!”

Tristan felt a rush of relief as his nervousness waned, slowly replaced by joy when reading their suggestions. He felt stupid for not thinking about them sooner.

He was about to thank them when a new reply made his heart stop.

“I’m gonna be honest, you barely promote your content dude, and you’ve been relying on your gimmick as your major source of advertisement, that’s probably why you’re not growing.”

Tristan felt like he was just slapped in the face.

“I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but that’s my opinion, nothing personal. I love your unique content dude, they’re quite entertaining, and it would be a waste if you quit because no one watches you. Keep trying your best, and eventually you’ll garner enough audience. I wish to see you grow into a larger vtuber one day.”

Tristan recoiled from the shock. His eyes bulged at the harsh tone of the reply.

Tristan stood and walked in circles, contemplating the words that kept replaying in his mind. Each replay makes him question the legitimacy and helpfulness of the reply.

Tristan continued to walk in circles, fighting his own mind, trying to make sense of the reply. He got more and more frustrated the more he dissected every part of the sentence, each word pricked his ego.

Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks.

Tristan walked to his monitor and read the message again. There was sadness in his eyes as he continued to read the message again, and again, and again.

He felt like his body was about to collapse. He dragged himself to his bed and plopped down. All he could feel was numbness. 

Tristan didn’t care how long he had been in his bed. He wanted to forget about this day, about his streaming ambitions, about their words that won’t leave his mind.

Everything.

…

Tristan felt an overwhelming wave of guilt. He felt bad for getting mad at his friend for speaking the truth, no matter how harsh it was.

He felt like a massive idiot.

Tristan let out an enormous sigh to flush some of the guilt he felt. He got up from his bed, went to his computer, and typed a reply to his friends.

“Hey guys, thank you so much for the suggestions! I admit, I never realized how much I relied on my gimmick, and how I rarely advertised my channel.

So I will try my best to focus on those, as well as to expand my content as well. I’ll try my best to become a better streamer, hope we all make it big as vtubers in the future :)”

After pressing the Enter key, Tristan felt nervous again as he waited for his friends’ replies.

“You can do it man! Good luck! :D”

“If you need some help, let me know ;^]”

“Sorry if I was harsh dude, but I’m glad I could help. Best of luck on your journey, and thank you too.”

Tristan read their messages over and over again, overwhelmed by their words of encouragement. “Thank you guys.” He whispered as he typed out his gratitude to them.

Feeling a spark of motivation, Tristan opened his drawer, grabbed a sticky note and pencil, then wrote the suggestions of his friends each. Afterwards, he placed the sticky notes below the bezel of his monitor, a beaming smile on his face.

Tristan opened up YouTube to get some inspirations, and he immediately got an idea just from the front page alone.

He noted the idea on a new sticky note.

Tristan continued to look around YouTube for further ideas. After a while, he slowly made the connection that a lot of streamers, vtubers or regulars alike, produce gaming content, with most focused their entire content around gaming only.

Tristan leaned back in his chair and stared at his ceiling, pondering about the ups and downs of doing gaming content on his channel.

It took him a while to come up with a conclusion.

He noted the idea with an amused chuckle.

Then his eyes darted on the sticky note below his monitor and saw his friend’s idea of being more active outside of streams.

He took the new stick note and stuck it next to the list of ideas his friends suggested. Seeing the idea suggestions written out just below his monitor felt a little satisfying on his mind.