How foolish I was.

While feeling sorry for myself, I had reached my apartment. I didn’t want to go home. Home was even more of a reminder about just how alone I was.

I needed a new job anyway, so maybe I should just go out and find one? I had one option left after the number of places I had been fired from. Two, if I counted ‘him’, a treacherous thought reminded me. So one option, it was.

I did, however, need to get changed before I went there. If I didn’t look the part, no way I would even get an interview, much less an actual job. Not that I was looking forward to that, either. The only proper suit I had was one I had gotten from ‘him’. I didn’t know if I was going insane, or if I could still smell his scent on it, when wearing it, but it was another thing I had almost thrown out on multiple occasions. Unlike the note, it wasn’t something that I could use to contact him, but it was still a painful reminder of just how weak I was. How, even though I had kept running, I couldn’t stop looking back. Just like he said I would.

I shook my head. Just the thought of wearing the suit made me waver about my choices. Maybe I should just call it for the day. Go to sleep, forget about how shitty I felt, and hopefully tomorrow would be better.

Yes, that would be what I would do.

Having stood for too long outside, wondering what to do while lost in thought, the inside felt burning. I only now noticed how cold I had been. I wasn’t dressed for this weather, but also couldn’t afford a new jacket. No, it wasn’t something I could do something about right now. Deciding to go with the best choice I had made all day, I went to sleep, awaiting a tomorrow that would be just a bit better than today. A tomorrow where I would turn back to the ‘me’ I once was. Where I would use my ‘freedom’ as I wished.

Tomorrow would be better, I decided, before sleep and nightmares claimed me.

Tomorrow wasn’t better.

I woke up, not knowing what to do with myself. A persistent knocking had been going off for a while, and while it didn’t sound like it came directly from my door, it sounded close enough to be for one of my neighbors. Seeing as it had been going on long enough for me to include it in my half-asleep nightmares, before I woke up enough to understand the situation, a couple of minutes didn’t seem too far-fetched.

Deciding it would be better to stop the annoyance, I got up, got dressed enough to be decent while still looking like I just woke up to underline my annoyance, and went out the door.

And there, a man stood, pounding away at the door in a rhythm that he seemed to be counting. He didn’t yell, talk, or say anything at all, but was so focused on his knocking that he didn’t seem to notice me.

I couldn’t recognize him as someone I had seen around before, so he must just be a visitor. He looked to be about my age, maybe a few years older. Around the end of his 20’ies. With a proper suit and tie, he looked very out of place. This wasn’t the place for people who had money.

Staring wouldn’t do any good, so making sure I was sounding less annoyed than I felt, I spoke up.

“Excuse me, I don’t think he’s home. Could you stop knocking?” I had barely finished talking when he stopped and snapped his head towards me. Looking me up and down, like I was some kind of exotic animal he had only read about. He didn’t say anything.

“Thank you.” I managed. His stare was heavy and piercing. It felt like danger. Like I had to get out of here. It wouldn’t be too weird to just go back into my apartment, so I did just that.

Only, when I tried to close my door, a force stronger than my own pulled it wider open. I turned around, staring straight into the piercing brown gaze of the knocking man.