I let myself cry and bury my head in the pillows to muffle the sound just a bit. I don’t want anyone to hear.

Barrie’s deal pops into my mind, but I’m not strong enough to hold onto the thought. I was never strong enough to go through with it. Instead, I wasted my only chance to flee, and am right back here.

The only thing I can be grateful for is that Sean is busy with work. I know what would have happened if he had the time. I wouldn’t have been alone in this bed, right now, and I wouldn’t have had clothes on.

A small part of me seems disappointed about that. The same part of me that missed him and enjoyed the kiss. The same part of me that felt safe enough to sleep in his arms.

The rest of me is tired and doesn’t know what to do next.

Even if I went looking for evidence to use against him, where would I start? I can’t imagine Sean to have played entirely fair, he never did with me either, but I also don’t think he would do something so big he couldn’t hide it properly.

I’m not even entirely sure what he does for a living. Investments are a big part of it, and I know he made a branch out from his parent’s business, and works together with them in part, while also doing his own thing, but I don’t know enough to know where to dig.

This was a doomed plan to begin with.

Though I just ate, my stomach feels empty. Whether it’s hunger or my state of being, I’m not sure. I do know I want snacks, so I go down to the kitchen. I hate how easily I find it despite having been away from it for a year.

And there, I see a man in a fancy suit standing around. He is very familiar, but the setting is all wrong. He shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t even be near here. Before I can stop myself, I have already said his name.

“Olyvar.”

“Yes, Sir, what can I help you with?” He asked politely. He seemed entirely different from when I first met him.

“Snacks.” I stammered out in my disbelief. Why is he here? Was everything a trap? Did Sean work with Olyvar and Barrie to get me back?

It wouldn’t be too far-fetched, but somehow I doubt it enough to not let the thought take root. Sean and Barrie wouldn’t work together, even if their lives depended on it.

Yet, the truth of Olyvar being here was staring me in the face.

“If you would kindly come with me to choose something.” He said, making a gesture with his arm for me to follow him. I did, without a word, until we went into the fridge room. There, he closed the door behind me. His expression morphed into the Olyvar I had met before, and I felt a tiny bit more relaxed.

“What are you doing here?” I whispered angrily. Despite the closed door, I felt the need to whisper. One wrong move and Olyvar would be in danger. I would be in danger.

I think. Seeing as they might be working together, I didn’t entirely know anything for sure.

“Working.” Olyvar said simply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Why are you working here?” I asked, now more annoyed than angry.

“I’m your backup. If you had your phone taken, or otherwise wouldn’t be able to report back, if you found something, you can send it through me. We never know with that…” Olyvar gestured with his hands, looking for the word again. I couldn’t bother to wait.

“Temperament of his?“ I asked, wanting to move on. He frowned slightly, but nodded.

“So you don’t really work for Sean?” I want to confirm at least that much. Even if I can’t exactly take his word for it.

“I work for Mr. Methallo.” Olyvar confirmed. I assume ‘Methallo’ is Barrie’s last name, and wonder shortly about why I didn’t know it before. Maybe I forgot. I breathe a tiny sigh of relief from hearing that.

“However, my role is only to help make the transfer of information go smoothly. Everything else is up to you. I neither can, nor want to help if you end up in chains for doing something stupid, like trying to run away.”

“So if I don’t do something stupid, and still end up in chains, will you help me then?” I asked, now a good mix of annoyed, angry and defiant.

“No.” He answered back without any explanation.

Not deeming him worthy of an answer, I go to the back of the room, find my favorite snacks that has probably been restocked when he knew I was coming. Or maybe he had made sure they never ran out. And then I walked out without a word.

The self-pity I was wallowing in a few minutes ago was gone, replaced by a burning need to do something utterly foolish just to prove a point. What kind of point, I didn’t know exactly, but talking with Olyvar, I can’t get over the feeling that I’m missing something. Overlooking something important. A piece of the puzzle that doesn’t quite make sense. My brain doesn’t seem to be able to put it together, and I need doing rather than thinking.

The first thing I can think of is to try and run away. If I’m locked up, I can’t help Olyvar or his dear ‘Mr. Metal’ or whatever. He would have to help me. Barrie would hate for his plans to be ruined on the very first day.

However, that is too childish, and would ruin far more than it would accomplish. Trustworthy or not, Sean decided to give me a second chance, and doing anything that would put that in actual danger for petty reasons is out of the question.

The second thing I think about is getting Olyvar fired. It would be so very easy. I would just have to tell Sean that he had looked at me weird, and he would be gone, even if he saw through my lie.

But then I would be out of the option to give information to Barrie. Barrie would probably be mad and abandon me anyway, and Sean would see it as me being indebted to him somehow.

By the third thought I had calmed enough down, and thought the best idea was to do nothing. I would enjoy my snacks, watch some movies, and then I would think about my next step later.

In the end, that’s what I did. Throwing a childish tantrum on the first day wouldn’t help anyone, least of all me. It might make Olyvar’s or Barrie’s lives suck for a moment, but it would ruin the rest of my own.