As I lay in bed, mindlessly filling my mouth with snacks, a puzzle piece suddenly fall into place. I didn’t have the full picture yet, but at least I now had an idea about how Olyvar, and by extension, Barrie, knew so much about my life here. If Olyvar had worked here for a while, it was no surprise that the rest of the household staff would have talked amongst each other, and that Olyvar would have heard the countless weird things that had gone on in this house.

Not just about me. Sean was an enigma on his own, and a lot of the things he did rarely made sense to anyone else, yet he was meticulous in the execution of things once he had decided on something. He wouldn’t let it go.

I wasn’t an exception to that, either.

It was like he saw things in an entirely different way than the rest of us.

Lazing around for a while more, I got the sudden thought that this might not be so bad after all. I get to live in a big house without paying anything. I get free food whenever I want. I don’t have to worry about going to work or getting fired, and I can do basically everything I want, unless it requires me to step outside the front door. Or well, maybe I’m allowed to walk around in the garden. Maybe.

The only downside is that I have to live with a psycho that won’t let me go.

A rather big downside, I agree with myself, but free food almost tips the scales in his favor.

I pause my movie, after not having followed the plot for a while, since I was lost in thought.

How can one person be so undecided? I ask myself, but I don’t have an answer.

With a sigh, I stand up. Thoughts are nagging at me, but I can’t quite make them out enough to grasp, and if I don’t do anything soon, I’ll go mad.

I head to the gym in the basement, and add it to my mental note of pros and cons of my new life, should I want to keep it.

In my earlier tantrum I hadn’t remembered there even was a gym, but of course there is. I run for a bit on the treadmill as a warmup, and then go to try out the machines. A lot of my jobs lately had been very physically demanding, but I’m still more out of shape than I thought I’d be. At least I’m not just skin and bones anymore.

I was never much of a musclehead, but I did have a lean body. Before I know it, I’m thinking back to how I met Sean. The time at the special grocery store.

***

10 years ago. Summer.

“I’m here for the job.” I said, pointing towards the flyer of the store I saw outside. The woman behind the cash-register smiled at me and told me to come with her into the back.

“It just so happens another applicant got hired yesterday.” She said on the way. She led me into another room, knocked on a door and sent me in. Inside, an elderly man was sitting behind a desk that looked way too fancy to be in a grocery store, special or not. The only ‘special’ thing about this place seemed to be that they weren’t part of a chain, and sold things from all over the world.

“Hmmm. You’re here for the job?” He asked, sounding displeased. I was confused about what I had done wrong, but let out a ‘Yes, sir’ in the politest voice I could muster. I needed the job. I had no money, nor a place to stay. What I assumed to be drug dealers had taken over the empty storage room I had crashed at for some months, and before that, I had a friend that had let me stay around. If I could even call him a friend. He seemed to treat me more like a pet than a human being, but he gave me food and shelter, and I didn’t mind it so much. He always talked about how his parents didn’t allow him to have a dog, so I secretly wondered if that was all I was to him. I never asked and I never saw him again.

“I need a job, Sir. I can start immediately if you need me to.” I tried to make myself stand a bit straighter to convey how serious I was taking what I assumed to be an interview.

“Hmmm.” He nodded, staring me up and down. He made a slight frown, as if I was displeasing him.

“I just hired another youth yesterday, but I think it would be good with two. More leeway, you see. You okay with working in the back?”

“Yes, Sir.” I answered, but I didn’t see at all. I didn’t mind working ‘in the back’, either. But Leeway for what? I didn’t care as long as I got the job.

“Can you start now? The other young man comes in soon, so you can be trained together. Less work for me.” He said, staring me down. I nodded politely.

“Then, if everything goes fine today, I’ll give you a contract tomorrow. How does that sound?” He asked in a tone that conveyed ‘no’ wasn’t an answer.

“Sounds fine.” I said.

Sounds fishy, I thought.

Not too long after, I was guided back to the front where a young man stood. He was around the same height as me and smiled brightly when he saw me. His stance conveyed a sense of confidence I couldn’t imagine having, and the eyes had a hint of mischief. He looked around my age, so he must have been straight out of school as well. He went over to me with his hand stretched out.

“Sean.” He said by way of introduction. I took his hand.

“River.” I said, just as curtly, but my face was anything but. I had a big smile on it and tried to steal some more glances of his face. I noticed him staring back at me with an unreadable expression, but decided not to think too much of it.

I wondered if he had a reason to be that confident. If he was simply raised that way, or if it was earned. Then I thought it was rude to wonder about that, and went back to smiling at him.

“Right, right.” The elderly man said and shooed us forward. Both of us followed with nothing but grins on our faces. Fake or not, I was not entirely sure.

That day, we were taught by the owner. He was strict, and wanted things to be done in one way, and one way only. It took a while to get the hang of it, even if it was just putting price tags on things, searching for expired best-by dates and keeping inventory. I must have done it well enough, as I was told to come in the next day for my contract and to officially start. I heard the owner mumble something about ‘being stronger than he looks’ while looking at me before I left.