“I better get going…” I say reluctantly. I don’t want to go. This has been the most fun I’ve had in forever, and I don’t want it to end. But it needs to end. I can’t find a place to sleep without some sort of light, and by now all the good places are probably taken anyway. I wonder for a moment if I should find a large plastic bag so I can sleep in the open nature somewhere. It would cover me enough for rain, and I wouldn’t get my sleeping bag dirty.

“Do you want to sleep over?” Sean asked, and I look at him flabbergasted.

“We have a shift early tomorrow, so we might as well just go together.” He clarified after looking at my shocked face.

“I would love to.” I said before I think better of it. I don’t have a reason NOT to take him up on his offer, but likewise it feels like I don’t have a good reason to do so either. The easy atmosphere we have had so far suddenly feel a bit too heavy, and I don’t know exactly how to get out of it.

“Do you need to call your parents?” He asked. I shook my head a bit too quickly before I realized what he asked.

“They aren’t home today.” I lied quickly, with a shrug.

“My mom will first be home sometime late tonight, and she is off again earlier than our shift, so I guess you won’t have to meet her. I’ll just go down and write her a note about me having a friend staying over to be sure she doesn’t call the police on you, though.” He smiled that easy smile of his, and left the room.

I stand back, controlling my breathing.

It could be worse. It could be way worse. This was actually the best thing that had happened to me in a while. A warm place to stay, even if it was just for the night.

Sean comes back up and we get ready for the night. He lends me a night shirt and a toothbrush. I had both things in my bag, but thought it would be weird to mention. Either he would think I had planned this all along, or he would get suspicious of… Something.

Sean insists on me sleeping in the bed with him, though I assure him I’m okay with the floor. He will hear no such thing and threatens to tie me to the bed if I refuse one more time.

Laughing, I give in, and we lay side by side.

Having a warm body beside me for the first time in so long is weird. Hearing his heavy breathing as sleep takes him, even more so. The rhythm of his breathing, the warmth of his body, the comfiness of the bed. It doesn’t take long before I drift off to sleep as well.

As Sean had said, I didn’t get to meet his mom that day, nor the next. Nor the next time I stayed over a few days later.

At some point we naturally got into the routine of going to his place after work, me staying over, and then going together to work.

It made the few nights I didn’t stay with him so much harder. It became harder and harder to fall asleep when I was alone. When I couldn’t hear the soothing sound of breathing beside me.

When summer ended, I had saved enough money up for being able to rent a small and shabby place, that would be my own.

Because as summer ended, so did working together with Sean. He said he lacked the time, as he needed to intern at his father’s firm for a year, before he started college.

Summer ended, and so did our time together.

Or so I thought. Because even though Sean was busy, he came to visit me at my new place many times and invited me to his place even more.

We never talked about why I lived on my own at my age, nor where my family was. I both appreciated it and hated it. I felt like I was hiding something from him, that I wasn’t supposed to. But I also didn’t want to talk about the why and how of it all.

***