"I second that." My little sister's voice chimed directly behind me, and I nearly jumped right of my damn skin as she breezed right past me like the phantom she was, only to grab an apple from the fruit basket in the center of our kitchen island. On the rare occasion that she left her room long enough to peel her snout out of whatever paperweight-like novel she was currently scarfing down, Gaia really was like a ghost or some horrifying apparition, always appearing out of nothing but thin air and shadows. "But lucky for us, Dad is way too old to have more kids anyway. He's like forty now, so I'd bet sure his ovaries are shriveled up, dried out old raisins at this point."

Dad twirled around, eyes blazing at that statement. But fortunately, this time Papa was there to keep him from launching himself into any further bodily harm. "Okay, listen up fucklets!" Dad turned to point at Nuri first, "First of all, even I gotta admit that cum lung is a really fucking funny term, so I'll let you slide on that one," He then turned to my little sister, "Secondly, Gaia, for your information, I might have a grey hair or two, but I'm nowhere near the age of fucking menopause!" He swiveled again, making eye contact with the rest of us this time, "And finally, so what?! I love your Papa, and hence, we like to bang ferociously from time to time. But we are very much sex positive in the Cahill household, do you hear me?! Sex is a normal part of life, so get used to it!"

Nuri only shrugged, barely paying any of us any attention as he resumed his search for whatever it is that continued to evade his hunt this entire time. "Fine then, maybe I'll start talking about my sex life, too."

"Hah!" Gaia snorted at that, stifling a laugh past a giant bite of her apple. "Sure, because you have so much of that going on, mister virgin vengeance viking."

That earned her a glare from Nuri so dark that even I took a few steps back, not wanting to be caught in the crossfire. However, the look of adoration that poured from Dad's eyes at Gaia's spitfire remark couldn't be missed.

"Oh my goodness, my baby is all grown up!" Dad cried, wriggling his way out of Papa's hold so that he could engulf his youngest child – and only daughter – into a giant bear hug. Gaia just sighed, rolling her eyes as she latched her chin over Dad's shoulder, calmly allowing him to smother her within an inch of her life. "Such extraordinary insults, I've taught you so well! I knew you were on my side, my beautiful, amazing, genius, sweetie pie!" He finished, pulling back to drop a plethora of giant, slobbery kisses all across her entire face.

"I'm not on your side!" Gaia retorted firmly, although she still didn't push away from my Dad's dramatics, more than used to them after thirteen years of existing within our outlandish household. "Especially not after you literally named the literal only girl in this entire family, 'guy'!"

Dad only grinned maniacally, pinching my sister's cheeks with a thumb and forefinger. "Oh, my sweet, pretty, perfect, baby girl–"

"Dad, where's your purse?!" Nuri interjected all of a sudden, now tossing the couch pillows everywhere as he clearly became fed up with his neverending search. "I need to steal money for fireworks again!"

Dad's neck swiveled to the side so fast that I nearly heard it crack, and his eyes narrowed with suspicion within a millisecond. 

"Oh no you don't, fucklet number three!" He squawked, immediately letting go of Gaia in favor of making a beeline for his youngest son. "First of all, how many times do I have to tell you that it's not a purse, it's a goddamn satchel! And secondly, you are not making me go broke again just so that you can blow shit up without me there to appreciate it, too!"

My hand flew up to my mouth at that, unable to hold back the giggle that bubbled up my throat and slipped past my lips. 

Nuri and Dad had a very strong – albeit tumultuous – relationship, primarily built upon their tandem knack for getting into the most mischievous, hazardous situations anyone could ever conjure up. Considering how from the very moment he found out what fire was, Nuri had blossomed into nothing short of a full-blown pyromaniac, said 'situations' typically consisted of some kind of grandiose act of wildly destructive arson. And, seeing as to how Dad also boasted a verified history of recreational pyromania in his own youth, over the years the pair ultimately became a force to be reckoned with, and now, Nuri's own maniacal idiocy was steadily heading for a full eclipse of that of our Dad's own discombobulated brain.

... Which, in itself, was a particularly impressive feat to achieve.

"But daaad, you don't understand! When you were little, everything may have only cost you a live chicken and a hangnail, but in this economy, everything fun costs money!" Nuri whined, reaching over to engulf our Dad in a hug that was clearly meant to butter him up, "Please, this is really the last time, I swear!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's also exactly what you said the last time, and the time before that, and the time before that. Oh, and also the time before that..." Dad continued on, counting the many instances in which Nuri has asked for money sarcastically on his fingers. But – in proper Nuri fashion – even that wasn't enough to stop him, as he just kept on begging and squeezing our Dad to death, unable to contain his unbridled addiction to blowing shit up.

"Nuri, I'll give you five dollars to buy yourself a life." Gaia inserted, already making her way back up the stairs toward the chamber of secrets – also known as her bedroom which looked more like a library than anything. And as she disappeared into the second floor, my ears twitched, catching onto her mumbling something vaguely along the lines of "God/dess help me, I am the backbone of this entire household."

Seeing as to how Papa had already re-assumed his stance at the kitchen counter and Theon was also much too busy cuddling deep into his neck pillow, it was at that moment that I realized that I had no choice but to intervene. So, with a low groan and a reaffirmed disdain for confrontation, I made my way over to the site of the commotion and carefully pried Nuri off of our Dad, who was currently sputtering for dear life after being squeezed much harder than should be deemed humane.

"Nuri, no more stealing money from Dad's purse." I ordered in my best big-brother-is-in-charge-now voice, although it didn't have the exact level of impact that I hoped considering the way I had to crane my neck up a significant amount to meet even his eye. 

"Ecko, it is a satchel!" Dad desperately retorted, but still, I continued on.

"You will live without fireworks for right now. Now please, go summon a demon or conduct a seance or whatever it is that you like to do in your free time so that Papa and I can cook dinner in some semblance of peace." Heaving a deep sigh, I simultaneously noticed that my little wriggle worm of a little brother had – once again – robbed me of one of my shirts, the stretched-out fabric fitting much more like a crop top on him than it ever would on me. "And I swear, if you get one more burn hole in another one of my shirts, I'm going to tell Uncle Daffodil that it was you who burnt down his lime tree orchard last summer."

Nuri went completely pale at the threat, knowing that if that truth ever came to light and Uncle Tyrus caught wind, his ass was as good as grass. "Okay, okay, you win," My little brother breathed, gulping down a glob of spit that was stuck in his nervous throat as he pointed up the stairs. "Please don't tell Uncle Ty or Uncle Daffi, I'll– I'll just go, I promise."

"Hey, wait for me! I want to summon a demon too!" Dad exclaimed, dashing over to the kitchen to lean up onto his toes and smack his husband's cheek with a quick smooch, followed by a whisper that made Papa stiffen in such a way it made me suspicious that they were busy plotting some sort of redemption of their previous attempt of going to 'pound town'. Then, after sauntering away from his husband, Dad flitted around, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead as well as Theon's before bounding right back over to Nuri. "Alright, lead the way, fucklet number three!"

Arguing over random nonsense the entire way, I watched as both Dad and Nuri disappeared up the stairwell, heading for Nuri's dungeon-like bedroom which was adorned floor-to-ceiling with an ample amount of chaotic graffiti, decoration of which I considered a direct reflection of his inner chaos.

The first floor of our home was much quieter now, what with Theon now completely knocked out and laying face-down into his neck pillow on the couch, Gaia up in her room reading, and Dad and Nuri busy summoning beastly creatures from the fiery pits of hell.

Now don't get me wrong, I loved my insane jumble of a family to death and beyond, but it was these moments that I also cherished – the times when my family's craziness simmered down to a lull, and Papa and I could finally work together to get some much-needed cooking done.

So, amongst the aftermath of the Nuri-and-Dad predicament, I grabbed my steaming mug of tea and sidled right back up beside Papa. Once there, I nudged his hip with my own, flashing him a bright smile as I took a much-needed sip of chamomile bliss.

"Papa, our family is certified insane." I told him through a quiet giggle, shaking my head as I ran back through the messy collection of events that had just transpired in our living room. "Sometimes I wonder how we all survive each other every day."

Papa's own robust laughter vibrated through me due to our close proximity, and he bumped my hip back playfully as I handed him the first round of produce to chop up – the giant carrots I'd grown in my garden with nothing but love, faith, and a little bit of fertilizer. 

"You are right, pumpkin. Even at the worst of times, your father never fails to resonate an aura of only the wildest kind of vibrance." The corners of Papa's lips tugged upward for the second time that day as he spoke of his husband, and as he moved to finish his thought, he peeked down at me from the corner of his eye. "But in my personal experience, the wildest things life has to offer often turn out to be the most beautiful of them all."

I love Corey and Jax forever and ever and ever 😭

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Xoxo, Alex