The man sitting across the dining room table was not the man that Jason had married. Ryan looked the same as he always did, his limp blond curls obscuring his face as he hunched over his plate. His scarred hands held the fork and steak knife awkwardly as he cut into the bloody slab of meat Jason had prepared for him. When the knife met resistance, Jason tensed. He rose to his feet, reaching for the plate. “I’m sorry. I’ll cook you a new one.”

“Why?” Ryan looked up at him, his blue eyes shining as he smiled. “This is really good.”

Jason froze, his jaw clenching as he waited. He refused to close his eyes, preferring to see the punch coming rather than be surprised by where it landed. 

Ryan’s smile faded at the corners. “What’s wrong?”

“Uh… Are you… Nothing.” Jason waited another moment before returning to his seat. He picked up his fork, his stomach roiling as his mind raced. The man looked just like Ryan, down to the faded scars across the knuckles of his right hand. He wore the same worn flannel shirt and stained jeans that Ryan had dressed in before leaving for work. His work boots had been muddier than usual, though he had actually paused to take them off at the door. 

Don’t want to track mud across the floor – it looks like you just cleaned it, he’d said. 

That had been Jason’s first clue. Ryan would only have noticed if Jason hadn’t ensured that the house was spotless when it returned. Even though the place was falling apart, and Ryan refused to use his hard-earned money for repairs, he wouldn’t abide coming home to a dirty house. And if Jason wasn’t home when Ryan returned, it would only lead to even bigger problems. Jason shuddered at the memory of Ryan walking into the bus station, where his cop friends had cornered and handcuffed him. Fresh tears pooled in Jason’s eyes, and he squeezed his eyes shut, willing them away before Ryan could see them.

Yet, the questions that plagued Jason’s mind clogged his throat, making it impossible to eat. He set his fork down and folded his hands in his lap. Ryan didn’t like to eat alone, and trying to leave the table before his husband had finished had already earned him a few bruises and scars.

“Are you not hungry?”

Jason flinched and picked up his fork again. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t have to… Oh.” Ryan cocked his head. His gaze ran up and down Jason’s body, his brow furrowing as he took in the sight of him. “This fucker…”

“I’m sorry. I was just distracted.” Jason lowered his gaze and shoveled a forkful of mashed potatoes into his mouth. They tasted like ash, and he choked it down before eating another bite. Tears blurred his vision, and he cursed himself for making such an obvious mistake.

“Jason.”

The sound of his name sent chills down his spine, and Jason dropped his fork. He hurried to retrieve it from the floor, his stomach threatening to spew forth what little he’d managed to eat.

Wood scraped against the worn linoleum floor, and Jason went still, his fingers still wrapped around the fork. For a brief moment, the idea of stabbing his husband flashed in his mind. He pushed the thought away, immediately extrapolating the trouble he would be in. Ryan would beat him again, then call Austin to have him patched up. And Austin wouldn’t ask questions, only sigh around his cigarette and scold Jason for making him have to step away from actual patients for such a stupid reason.

If only Jason had never told Ryan how he felt about him that day. If only he’d known that what he had built up his courage to say that day would only lead to his doom. And more than likely, his death.

“He really hurt you, didn’t he?”

Jason jerked at the closeness of the voice. He blinked, finally noticing the shadow that fell over him. His breath shook as he took in Ryan’s feet, inches away from the fork he still hadn’t picked up. He snatched the utensil up and righted himself in his seat. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Jason speared a stalk of asparagus and lifted it towards his face.

“Jason, stop.” Ryan laid a gentle hand on Jason’s, keeping him from putting the food and dirty fork in his mouth.

Jason whimpered, every muscle in his body tightening. “I’m sorry.”

“Fucking hell. He really was a piece of shit, wasn’t he?”

Jason frowned, Ryan’s words finally pushing past his fear to register in his brain. His frown only deepened as Ryan carefully pulled the fork from his hand and placed it on the table. “What?”

Ryan knelt down and tugged at Jason’s legs, turning him so that they faced each other. Ryan looked up at him, a sad smile on his face. “I thought you were in love with him. Had I known what he had been doing to you, I would have made him suffer even more. A lot more.”

Jason stared into his husband’s blue eyes. “Who are you?”

“Did you ever finish the fort? The one in the woods behind Old Man Chap’s place?”

Jason’s frown fell as memories pieced themselves together. “The fort? The only person who knew about–”

Ryan smiled brightly. “So you haven’t forgotten me completely? Well, that’s good.”

Jason clamped his hands over his mouth. “Danny?”

“Hi.” Ryan reached up, his hand moving towards Jason’s face.

Jason flinched, pulling away. He closed his eyes, shaking his head. “But you died. When we were kids. You died, and I went to your funeral, and your dad blamed me, and–”

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” Ryan rose up and reached for Jason again, only to stop himself as the man pulled away from him again. “Jason, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“How are you here?” Jason stared at Ryan – or Danny, though his mind couldn’t reconcile the fact that the man kneeling before him was no longer his husband of five years. “And why do you look like… like him?”

“It’s a long story, but…” Danny cocked his head, his brow furrowed. “Did he really not tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Jason glanced towards the fork on the table, the asparagus still impaled on its tines. “What’s going on?”

If this wasn’t Ryan, where was the real one? Would he come home and find Jason with someone else? Even if they looked like him, would Ryan blame him for not being able to tell? The possible consequences swirled in Jason’s minds, drowning out the sound of Danny’s voice. His chest heaved, his heart pounding hard enough to make his ears ring. He pulled away from Danny, nearly tumbling over the other side of his chair. Twisting, he jumped up from his seat, scurrying away until his back slammed into the wall that separated the kitchen from the hallway. He glanced towards the door, half-expecting to find Ryan standing there.

“Jason, please calm down.” Danny stood up, his hands raised with his palms out. “He’s not coming. He’s never coming again.”

The words pierced the fog of panic in Jason’s mind. He’s never coming again. Jason looked at Danny, flinching as he found Ryan staring back at him. “Then the police will come. And they’ll blame me. I can’t stay here.”

“They won’t come, either.” 

“Of course they will! The spouse is always the prime suspect.” Jason ran his hands through his hair, his fingers tangling in his unkempt curls. “And they all know Ryan, and hate me. They’ll just make up evidence and have me executed.”

“Jason, calm down and listen to me.” Danny stepped around the chair, only to stop short when Jason jumped and started inching towards the doorway. He raised his hands higher, speaking in a calming voice. “To anyone else, Ryan is right here, alive and well. Only you and I know the truth.”

“What are you talking about?” Jason looked up through his hands. “What did you do?”

“I took Ryan’s body.” Ryan tilted his head, his smile small. “Had I known this would be your reaction, I would have chosen a different method. But I thought you loved him, and I… I wanted to be with you. To know how that felt. I’m sorry. I didn’t think that it would be like this.”

Jason pulled his fingers free of his hair, the pain barely registering as he stared at the man before him. “Why would you even… What are you talking about?”

Danny chuckled and dropped his hands. “What a shitty way to confess, huh? I had a whole thing planned out and everything.”

“You wanted to know what it was like to be loved by me?” Jason cocked his head, laughter bubbling up in his throat. “And so you took the body of the man who had beaten and raped me for the past five years? So that you could pretend to be him?”

Jason’s mind went blank as he laughed, the kitchen filling with the broken sound. Tears streamed down his face as his chest burned and his stomach clenched. He gagged, dropping to his knees as his body forced up the contents of his stomach. He retched, spit dripping from his lips as his laughter devolved into wailing.

Ryan was gone, and yet right in front of him. Ryan was dead, and yet standing over him, caught between the desire to comfort him and the realization that touching him would only set Jason off even more. Jason wept as the reality of the situation set in, unsure if his tears were from joy or regret or fear.

“I’m so sorry, Jason.” Ryan knelt on the floor next to him, careful to avoid the pool of vomit. “I already had my reasons for choosing Ryan, and you were one of them. But I didn’t know what he had been doing to you.”

“What reasons?” Jason sucked in air as his laughter finally subsided. “You died, Danny. What, were you a ghost all this time? Did you follow Ryan around all this time, waiting for your chance? Or were you following me? Either way, how could you not have known?”

“I wasn’t a ghost.” Danny looked away, something flashing in his eyes. “I wasn’t on this plane until today.”

“Then why?” Jason lowered his head as fresh tears fell. “Why did you have to look like him?”

“Because he killed me.”

Jason jerked, his head swinging up to look at Danny. “What?”

Danny sighed and sat down on the floor. Scrubbing a hand over Ryan’s face, he stared down at his lap as he spoke. “You remember that night at the fort, when we were talking about dating? I was actually trying to work up the nerve to tell you that I was in love with you. But you clearly had feelings for someone else. I had a feeling who it might be. So, the next week, I went and talked to Ryan.”

“You did what?” Jason glared at the man. “Why would you do that?”

“Because I knew he was an asshole, and I wanted to warn him.” Danny shook his head. “Of course, I really underestimated just how much of a dick he was. We ended up fighting, and I fell on a rock. I tried to get him to go get help, since I couldn’t feel my legs. But he didn’t want anyone to find out why we were out there, or blame him for what had happened to me. So he picked up a rock and bashed my head in. My spirit stuck around long enough to watch him toss my body into the river.”

Jason blinked, a fresh wave of bile rising in his throat. “Oh, my God.”

Danny shrugged. “It would have been easier for me to take over my own body. But it’s currently somewhere in the ocean, and I highly doubt you would have been happier to see it in its current state.”