“Obnoxious,” Handa grumped, mildly. “How’d he get to be in charge?”
“He is good.” I got to my feet. “We didn’t even notice him come in.”
“We’ve been preoccupied. On a good day, he’d never sneak up on us.” Emitting a frustrated hiss, he took a sip of his coffee. “By all means, go see what the loudmouth has to say.”
I didn’t want to leave my partner’s side, and I thought whatever the lieutenant had to say, he should say to us both, but at least the dining room was empty and open enough that I’d be able to maintain visibility on Handa, and anyway, this wasn’t the time to get into a battle of wills with my superior.
I followed Kudo to where he now stood, near the entryway to the bathroom, just behind a large planter full of bamboo. Mouth bunched to one side, he studied Handa like a kid trying to solve a tough algebra equation, and when I reached him, he remarked, “Seems like he’s taking this in stride.”
“Seems like it.”
Expectantly, he met my gaze. “Isn’t he?”
Looking back on Handa’s erratic behavior, I knew, of course, he wasn’t, and Kudo was obviously wanting a full report of the situation from me.
“It’s hard to tell with him.”
Kudo snorted. “Sugita-kun, if there’s one thing I’m applauded on, it’s how well I know my men. You two are tight, I get that. Nothing gets between you; when you’re working together, nothing gets past you. Not everyone bonds with their partner the way you guys have. In short, you guys have done really well together. So, I look the other way if you’re cliquish or if you let success go to your heads. Hell, I look the other way when you act like a couple of jackasses. But this isn’t the time to be arrogant, and it’s not the time to prioritize him.”
It was a struggle to keep from glaring at him. “What is my priority supposed to be, Lieutenant?”
He hesitated, like there was something he’d rather not say outright. “You’re looking for something that likely doesn’t exist, and your partner…” His gaze shot, warily, to Handa. “He could turn on you at any second.”
“That isn’t what the doctor told us,” I argued, readily. “He said we have two weeks to figure this out.”
“This isn’t an investigation, Sugita-kun. This is what it looks like when things go very wrong. And, in any case, I seriously doubt that’s what the doctor meant. There’s no telling what order this process goes in or how long it’ll be before his mind rots. It could be months. Or you could wake up tomorrow with him chewing on your neck.”
I chanced a look back at Handa as well. He was absorbed in chatting with the waiter, smiling and laughing like nothing in the world was wrong. He looked normal, cheerful, my personal breath of fresh air who wanted to be close to me, wanted what was best for me even to his own detriment, kept me grounded with his logic and lightened my mood with his humor. I didn’t want to hear it–not from Yamada, not Madame Budu, and not from Kudo–that he’d try to kill me.
Heavily, I leaned against the wall.
“He’s already acting off.” Kudo gestured to him, subtly, though, since Handa was likely paying close attention to us, despite his blithe appearance. “It’s not like him to lose his temper because I gave him a nickname.”
“I’m sure he’s stressed.”
“With good reason. We can’t afford to overlook the possibility that he’s deteriorating.”
“I’m not going to walk out on him.” I lifted my hands, overwhelmed by despair and fatigue.
Sharper than before, he looked at me again, and puffed himself up, taking on an air of command. “No? Then the two of you ought to stop acting like you’ve got this all under control–you’re in over your heads–and be grateful I came to help you. I didn’t have to. It goes against every instinct in my body to help Handa-kun at this point.”
“If you don’t mind, Lieutenant, could you tell me exactly what you mean by that?”
“I realize you haven’t gone after any yokai in an official capacity, but you at least know the basic protocol.” In a machine-like voice, he intoned, “Please be advised, should you have the misfortune of crossing paths with a kyuuketsuki, do not hesitate. Shoot to kill. Please stab the location where a human has a heart. Please decapitate and bring the head to your immediate superior.”
My stomach curdled, and I stood up straight again. “You’re saying I should have killed him last night. Right after I killed the original.”
“Original?” He laughed under his breath. “Sugita-kun, that kyuuketsuki was a changeling.”
My mind reeled. I’d known from the moment I’d seen it that it had been a yokai, mostly from its eerie, inhuman aura of chi, but I hadn’t known what kind or even been able to make an assumption. No wonder Kudo thought we couldn’t do this without him. We might as well be rookies again, with no clue as to what we were up against.”
That was his point, I realized, in coming here.
Knowingly, he went on. “You can tell the originals when you see them, believe me. They’re sophisticated, terrifying, intelligent animals with motives your innocent mind can’t comprehend. Changelings are abominations of nature, a distasteful byproduct of demons attempting to make with humans. Without exception, they have no soul, no conscience; they’re bloodthirsty monsters.”
Without exception.
I stared at Handa. He had the waiter laughing with him now. Admittedly, some naïve side of me did believe he was too kind and decent to be a bad kyuuketsuki even if he changed. His personality was too strong to get lost.
“Even him,” Kudo confirmed. “So, yes. I think you should have killed Handa-kun the moment you understood what had happened. It’s a wonder Chief Kobayashi didn’t do it.”
My head felt like it was on fire, and my vision turned red. I squeezed my fists as tightly as I could stand.
“You have to be careful if you don’t want to end up dead, or worse, like him. You have a wife now, kiddo. The last thing you’d want is to–”
“Get to the point,” I snapped.
Kudo barely arched his eyebrows, and then, unceremoniously, got out his pistol.
I looked around, quickly, to make sure no one was watching, but he’d obviously chosen our secluded location on purpose. “What are you doing?”
He ejected the clip and popped out a bullet into his palm, holding it up for me to see. It looked like a normal, full metal jacket round, capped with a silver tip. “This is a kyuuketsuki bullet. Last night, you left the job undone, so I take it you haven’t been fully instructed on how to deal with kyuuketsuki. If you had, I don’t think your partner would be alive right now. It was an unfortunate, bureaucratic error.”
My heart shuddered, and lava erupted in my stomach, surging up into my chest until everything burned.
“Kyuuketsuki, even changelings, have to be killed in a specific manner, like I mentioned, but it’s a pain, staking them and decapitating them. A few years back, we switched to this explosive round; now, all it takes is a headshot.”
I clenched my jaw so tightly I thought my teeth would shatter.
“It’s messy, but effective. As long as your aim is good, which yours is.” He popped several more rounds from his magazine. “You can have these. If you’re smart, you’ll chamber one right away.”
Growling, I lifted my hands. “No. Thank you. Lieutenant.”
His mouth bunched to the side again. “I’m not giving you an option, kid. If you want to live, even without your partner, you need to take these. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. There’s no guarantee we’re going to find a solution, and–”
“Lieutenant.” I shouldered closer to him and leaned down to glare into his eyes. “Say one more word to me about murdering Hideki if you want to lose every fucking tooth in your head.”
His eyes widened, making the scar on his cheek quiver, but he lowered his hand to clutch the hateful bullets at his side. “Your loyalty is touching, but–”
“That is still Handa,” I snarled. “I’m going to save him. Your attitude is the antithesis of what I need right now, so take your orders, shove them up your ass, and get out of my way.”
Not caring if I got suspended, demoted, or terminated, I rammed him with my shoulder and walked away.
A powerful hand caught my arm, jerking me to a stop. Close to my ear, he chuckled, “I know my men. I knew you’d be this way. That’s why Chief didn’t put Handa-kun down last night.”
I still didn’t believe the chief had so much as considered harming Handa last night, but if he’d tried, I would have knocked his teeth out too.
“I’ll let this slide. I know Handa-kun matters to you.”
So much more than I knew how to express. My eyes started to sting as I watched Hideki again, sitting alone at the table now with his chin on his fist, probably thinking about me. I didn’t need Madame Budu to tell me Handa dwelled on me all the time, and I couldn’t say that it wasn’t awkward or embarrassing–of course it was, a little. More than that, though, in a world like ours, where nobody cared about much outside themselves, it comforted me. It warmed me.
When he’d started following me around at the academy, I’d asked myself, in passing, what is it with this kid? Noticing how lonely he was only solved half the equation. Out of pure compassion, I had wanted to assuage that, but his infatuation with me remained a mystery. I knew myself, flaws and strengths alike, and I knew I wasn’t particularly special. Not to the extent Handa thought I was. It might be more concise to say he could do better. Nonetheless, that admiration and love made me want to be the best version of me I could possibly achieve, because I never wanted to let him down.
Not him. I’ll rip both dimensions apar to find the answer.
Kudo told me, quietly, “No one has ever tried to save a changeling before. They’re the definition of a lost cause. But I know my men, and I believe in you two.”
Gradually, I faced him again, searching for traces of either truth or deception in his eyes.
He said, “I want to help you,” and I desperately wanted to believe that.
“You think you can?”
“I have a lead. It’s dangerous, and it’s a long shot. But I get the feeling that doesn’t matter to you.”
“It doesn’t,” I agreed, stiffly, and jerked out of his hand. “I’ll do whatever it takes to fix this.”
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