(Content warning: This chapter contains discussion of self-harm that some may find upsetting. Reader discretion is advised.)

A young Roquewei was running, dread filling him as he stumbled again and again as he ran from his pursuer. Losing his footing, Roquewei finally fell to the ground. 

A dark cloud quickly surrounded him, chilling him to the bone. Frozen with fear, he looked up to see pale yellow eyes and a terrifying grin of a predator that had captured its prey. 

Suddenly, a flash of light. Another elf, an adult, appeared to fight off the Ymplerim. Roquewei took this chance to flee, but turned back to see what would happen to his savior. 

He knew already – this wasn’t the first time he had had this dream. Yet the overwhelming despair he felt as the adult elf was lifted off the ground and enveloped by the dark cloud felt terribly fresh every single time. 

Roquewei reached out in an attempt to save the elf, but something held him back, pulling him away. He looked to see what was preventing him from moving forward and saw nothing. He turned again to call out to the elf and was surprised to see someone else. A woman with long, black hair… 

The now adult Roquewei fell to his knees, wanting to strike but unable to move. A scream was building in his throat, but refused to be released. Instead it was absorbed into his body, incapacitating him as he watched the scene unfold. Tears streamed down his face. No, no. Not again… Not again!

Another, brighter flash of light appeared, blinding him. 

In a cold sweat, Roquewei sat up to find the midday sun shining through a window flap of the travel tent. Breathing heavily, he looked around to gather his bearings.

His sword and throwing knives lay on a small elevated surface towards the entrance. A bowl with mashed herbs, a small piece of cloth, and a waterskin lay beside him. He was shirtless with bandages wrapped around his torso, and he could feel the herbs pressing into his side. 

Self-conscious of his scars, Roquewei kept himself covered with one of the several blankets around him until he sighted his clothes neatly folded on his other side. Once fully dressed and after a few quick brush strokes through his hair, the elf grabbed the waterskin, opened the tent flap, and walked out.

Just outside he found Erae cooking at the campfire. The blonde elf was removing leaf-wrapped tubers from the embers while also checking on the food in the pan sitting on top of the fire. 

Sofia was on the other side of the camp with Harton, Porgi, and Kalokim, all of them playing with the little fawn. Roquewei’s chest tightened when he saw her, but forced himself to release a deep sigh. She’s all right. 

Hearing him, Erae turned and greeted Roquewei with an unexpectedly large and warm smile.

“Roquewei, you’re awake! You must be famished. Come, sit – lunch is almost ready.”

Roquewei joined Erae by the fire on a makeshift seat, pulling his long, loose hair behind his ears. His stomach growled loudly, making him realize how hungry he was. “How long was I asleep?”

“A day and a half,” replied the blonde elf as he stirred the food in the pan. “You knocked out soon after we discovered our new friend.” He nodded towards the little fawn. “He’s quite a cutie. I’m glad you didn’t put up much of a fight about sending him back.”

Roquewei looked across to watch Sofia and the animals again. The fawn seemed to be changing from brown into shades of green. 

“We didn’t have much of a choice, did we?” Roquewei replied. Turning to Erae, he held out his hand, “Could I have my leigheas pendant back?”

“Oh, of course.” Erae reached into his robe and pulled out the blue-speckled red pendant on the thin golden chain. 

“That was smart to take it before going into the trailer,” Roquewei admonished the blonde elf as he put the necklace on. Despite having been in excruciating pain, he could briefly remember Erae slipping the necklace off him when he had stumbled out of the truck. 

“Who knows how those people would have reacted to such a gem.”

“You told me once how it enhances everything you feel,” Erae said, looking directly at Roquewei. “I had hoped taking it would have helped… relieve some of your suffering.”

They looked at each other for a moment before Erae started to speak again. “Roquewei…”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” the blue-haired elf averted his gaze, pulling his robe tighter around himself. “Your food is burning.”

Erae frowned and removed the pan from the fire. Dividing up the food, he passed Roquewei a plate. 

“Who else knows?” he asked quietly. 

“I said I don’t want…” Roquewei started angrily.

“Does your mother know?” Erae’s piercing blue eyes told Roquewei he wasn’t going give up.

Roquewei, tight-lipped, held his gaze before admitting defeat. “No,” he sighed, covering his face with his hand. “She does not.”

“Your sister?” Erae asked. Roquewei shook his head.

“What about Faliona?”

Roquewei looked up, brow furrowed. “Why would Faliona know?”

Erae raised his eyebrows briefly in surprise, then followed with, “Does anyone else know?”

Roquewei sighed as he lowered his plate, his hair cascading over his shoulder as he covered his face now with both hands. “Only… two others and Porgi know. The Master Healer learned after the rainforest incident…”

“That only happened recently! The one on your chest seems… fresh, but some of those scars look… quite old. Roquewei, how long have you…?”

“Erae,” Roquewei’s tone both an appeal and warning. “Please, just drop it.”

The sound of laughter rippled from the other side of the camp. 

Wait. 

The blue-haired elf’s eyes flung open. Touching his side, he looked at Erae with concern. “Does… did she…?” His eyes flitted across to Sofia and the animals heading into the forest. 

Erae followed his gaze, frowning again. “No, I occupied her and the others with tasks while I treated you. She’s going now to harvest more mushrooms.”

Roquewei let out a sigh of relief, folding over his knees. 

Erae looked over Roquewei’s hunched, defeated body. Even when they fought, he was used to seeing the warrior sit tall and proud. What did this to him?

A sudden realization struck. Could it be…?

“Friend,” Erae started again. “I don’t know what has happened…”

“Erae…” Roquewei looked at him warily.

“…or why you do this,” Erae continued. 

Roquewei’s body tensed. “I said drop it, Erae.”

The blonde elf ignored him. “But if it has anything to do with what I think it does…”

“Erae, leave it alone!” Roquewei shouted as he stood angrily.

Erae remained seated and calm. Gently he said, “It wasn’t your fault.”

At this Roquewei released a bitter laugh. Tears welled up in his eyes. 

“What do you know?” he snarled. 

“You know what I know,” said Erae, refusing to back down. He reached out and gripped Roquewei’s arm gently but firmly. “It was an accident. Please believe me.” Tears forming in his own eyes, he said again, “It wasn’t your fault.”

Still standing, Roquewei held Erae’s gaze, mulling over the elf’s words. Wishing they were true, but unsure he could believe them, he slowly sat back down. Erae did not loosen his grip, as if afraid Roquewei would run away. 

“If you… you ever feel…” Erae struggled to find the words. “If you need help. Someone to talk to when… when things are hard… Find me, ok?”

Moved, but proud, Roquewei pulled his arm away and averted his gaze again. After a few moments of picking at his food, he finally said softly, “Thank you, Erae.”

“Don’t thank me,” he scoffed. Roquewei eyed Erae as he also picked at his food.

“I have been terrible to you recently, especially on this journey,” said the blonde elf. “There is no excuse, but when it comes to Sofia I… I get tunnel vision.” 

The blue-haired elf shrugged. “Well, I did try to leave the woman in a random rainforest…”

Erae slammed his utensils down on his plate. “Seriously! How in Creation did you think that was the right thing to do?”

“I was not thinking about what was ‘right.’ I was just trying to get the job done so I could get that map.” Roquewei sat up, but averted his eyes. “But… I know now it was wrong. I made her a promise I would help her get home. And I promise you, I will not harm her.”

After a pause, Erae said. “I believe you. And if she’s forgiven you, I can too.” 

The blonde elf took a deep breath and sighed. ”I’m sorry for the other day. I allowed my insecurities to take control, and I took all my fears out on you.”

Roquewei looked at Erae with a puzzled expression. “Fears of what? I do not know what you see in her, but she is obviously spellbound by you. Besides,” he made a sweeping motion, “you, my friend, are everything a woman could want. Smart, handsome, brave, strong, reliable…”

He stopped when he noticed Erae leaned over with his chin on his fists, eyes glittering and listening intently. 

“No, no — please go on,” Erae said, smirking. “I’m enjoying the shower of compliments.”

“Ugh, seriously,” Roquewei stabbed one of the vegetables on his plate in annoyance. “I am just saying there is no elf who can compare with you. You have nothing to worry about, especially not from me.”

Erae’s smile loosened slightly. I’m going to hold you to that.

“You are the only reason we made it back,” Roquewei continued. He looked up again, this time with a serious look on his face. “You fought bravely and kept us safe, even though you did not have your own weapon. You defeated the Ymplerim, made new friends, and found the gate. You literally carried me back to Lyfay. Thank you, truly.” Placing his hand on the blonde elf’s shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze he continued. “You are a great warrior and guardian. And… and a good friend.”

Sitting up, Erae reciprocated the gesture. “As are you, Friend. Thank you for your forgiveness.”

Feeling at peace, the men returned to their meal. After a moment, Roquewei spoke again.

“You do know she has to go back, though, right?” Roquewei reminded him.

Irritated, Erae responded, “Let’s not ruin the moment, shall we?”

“Oh, is the food ready?” 

The men looked up to see Sofia walking towards them. She was flanked by Harton and Kalokim, with Porgi flying above her and the fawn in her arms. The sunlight, filtering through the trees, created a halo effect around them. 

Both men blushed at the sight. Wow…

“Oh, you’re awake! How are you feeling, Roquewei?” Sofia asked earnestly as she drew nearer. The elf swallowed hard, causing him to cough.

“F-fine,” he said. “I am doing fine.”

She smiled, relief in her eyes. “I’m glad.”

Taking a seat on the other side of Erae, she put the fawn down, took off the gathering pouch tied to her hip, and accepted the plate of food the blonde elf handed her. The animals joined the circle beside their respective compánaigh.

“Guys,” Sofia started as she watched the fawn move to cuddle with Harton. “Why is the fawn changing colors?

“He’s becoming his true colors,” replied Erae around a mouth full of food. “The energy and balance in Lyfay allows each creature to be seen as their true self. On Talamh everything takes a sense of camouflage for protection.”

“Including you two,” she said. The men stopped chewing. “You didn’t think to tell me?”

“Well, in our defense,” said Erae, smiling sheepishly. “We thought it would have happened on its own once we had been out of Lyfay for a while. Most people from Talamh don’t ever see our true selves. Hasil and Russ could only see us – and the Ymplerim for that matter – after the release of leigheas energy from Roquewei’s weapons. But even that would have faded eventually.”

Exactly, thought Roquewei. So how is it that she could still see us properly? Was it that way last time, too?

“Wait, does that mean that I have changed after coming to Lyfay?” asked Sofia. She whipped her loose hair over her shoulder. “It doesn’t look any different to me.”

“It’s iridescent,” blurted out Roquewei, surprising himself and the others. “You know, like a grackle?”

“A… grackle?”

“That, erm…,” Roquewei stumbled over his words. “That bird from Talamh with shiny black feathers?”

“There are literally so many other iridescent animals…” Erae said, rolling his eyes. Maybe there really isn’t anything to worry about…

Turning to Sofia, he said, “But he’s right. Your hair is still dark, but it shines with a variety of colors in the sun. It makes you absolutely stunning.” Sofia smiled at him lovingly. 

Roquewei gagged a little.

The wood in the fire collapsed, sending up sparks. Turning to Kalokim, Erae said, “Time to get more firewood. It is too late in the day to travel so let’s plan to spend another night here. We’ll be back.” Grabbing his staff, the elf placed his hand on the Ghyrz’s shoulder and walked beside her into the forest.

As they left, Sofia turned to Roquewei. “Since he’s leaving us alone, you two must have talked things out?”

“Hmm? Yeah, I guess so.”

“Whew, what a relief! I was not looking forward to having to keep traveling with you two always on edge.”

They sat silently, Sofia observing her hair in the light for a moment before saying, “I really am glad you’re alright. I didn’t realize your… gift could be so serious.”

“Gift?” Roquewei repeated. 

“That’s what Erae called it.” She paused, stroking Harton’s head. “You two have known each for a long time, haven’t you?”

Roquewei started poking the fire. Is this a gift? he asked himself. Aloud, he replied, “We’ve been friends since we were children. I owe him my life many times over.”

Sofia went silent again. What is she thinking about? Roquewei wondered. 

“Roquewei, have I…?” Sofia started but trailed off. The elf looked at her quizzically. It was as if she was sensing something. He noticed that Harton was watching her intently, possibly picking up on the same sensation. Sofia looked in the direction of the forest where Erae had gone.

Is there something there? Suddenly, his leigheas stone pendant began to glow. A beam of red light shot in the same direction that Sofia had been looking. The elf looked at her in surprise. 

Erae soon appeared, riding now on Kalokim. “Hey! Change of plans. I think I’ve found…”

“A gate!” Sofia and Roquewei replied together. 

Bewildered, Erae said, “Y-yeah… We should check it out before it closes.”

Sofia quickly turned away before Roquewei could say anything. Porgi flew down to a nearby perch. “Are you sure you are ready to go back to Talamh, Roquewei?” he asked.

“Huh?” Roquewei asked, distracted. “Oh, yeah. I’m alright.” He watched Sofia and Erae begin packing up the camp as he snuffed out the fire with dirt.

How did she know?