-Fiat-
Exams came quickly, I was happy to see the back of them. Art doubled down on us making us study day and night. Surprisingly, we all passed.
Graduation came next, my parents didn't make the ceremony but my gang and I celebrated at my house. Steel and Jay showed up with armfuls of booze.
Clover had to be home early to celebrate with her family so Jay, Steel, Art, and I drank nearly all night by the pool.
Art was the first to fall asleep in one of the lounge chairs. I shook him and told him to head to bed, but he didn't move. Steel and Jay headed in first, they were no help. I had no choice I would have to carry the big baby.
I placed him in the bed and listened to his nonsensical babbling.
I sit at the edge of the bed trying to make out his words. There was no point.
His fringe is covering his face. I move his hair aside and take off his glasses.
Suddenly his eyes open and I nearly jump out of my skin. He blinks a few times then scowls.
There he is- before I can finish my thought he places his hands on either side of my face and forces our lips together.
I'm stunned. He quickly deepens the kiss and moans into my mouth. I put my hands over his to release myself but his body goes limp and falls back onto the pillow.
Seriously, what a fucking little weirdo.
-Art-
I have the worst hangover. Why did we stay up all night drinking when were knew we had to catch a plane the next day? Whose moronic idea was it? I look at the three losers across from me. Oh yeah. Those morons.
"You ok Art?" Clover touches my face with the back of her hand. "Your complexion looks green." Her brows furrow. "Why did you idiots drink so much?"
I pull her hand away from my face and hold it in my lap. "Are my hands clammy?"
She nods. "Sorry." I let go of her hand.
I sleep for the entire three hours of the plane ride. I was relieved to wake up and realize the hangover meds, and water had taken effect. I feel so much better. By the time we get to the resort, I am ravenous for a meal.
We all have our own rooms and separate to get settled before dinner. I take a quick shower, throw on some sweats and a T-shirt, and leave my room to meet my friends.
The resort has a restaurant inside of it so we agreed to meet back up there. When I get to the table everyone is already seated.
"What took you so long?" Steel askes
"I had to shower."
"You showered?"
"You didn't? Sorry, dumb question, forgot who I was talking to."
"But I smell good today." He motions for me to smell his shirt.
"Nope, I don't believe you."
"I really do smell good." He stands up and leans over the table.
I swat him away. "Good, by whose standards?" I ask him.
"Tell him, Clover, I smell good."
Clover's eyes go big. "You smell...ok."
The whole table laughs except Steel.
"Whatever, you guys suck." He sulks.
-After dinner we all head for the beach. Jay and Steel race and within seconds their heads disappear under the water. I watch as Fiat and Clover hold hands and walk away whispering to each other.
I take a seat on the sand and wrap my arms around my legs. It's really beautiful here. After a while, I lay back and look up at the night sky. The dark inky sky is filled with so many stars. I count them until I nod off.
The sound of distant laughter wakes me up and soon I'm contemplating when would be the best time to get Fiat alone and get the confession over with. I'm feeling anxious to rip the band-aid off.
I don't fool myself with any fantasies that he will happen to love me too, well not many anyway. We will be here through the weekend and leave Monday morning. I have to figure out how to get him alone no later than Sunday evening. Definitely, not tonight, or Saturday, because all of Sunday will be awkward.
I have a fantasy of telling him Monday morning right before he gets on the plane and then running away to take another plane. Which is stupid cause all our seats are together on the same plane. I hate that I'll have to face him after.
I reassure myself, at least it won't be for long after this trip I'm going to be staying with my grandparents in the country and won't see any of them until after we start at Uni.
I never want to go there, no cell reception and the Wi-Fi is spotty at best. I only agreed this time for an escape route, Fiat won't follow me there.
I have a frightening image of me telling Fiat I love him and him punching me and breaking my nose. That won't happen. I think. Another that he grabs his stomach and laughs as if I were a clown.
I'm fucking humiliated and I haven't even told him yet. The words of the article replay in my mind. I remind myself it's a win-win scenario.
Man, this fucking sucks. But I won't back out. I'm ready to get to part 2 described in the article. It had two options. 1. So your unrequited isn't at all unrequited, Good on you!
I never even bothered to click on that and went straight to option 2. So, you got rejected. It happens, ready to feel better?
I read up on what to do after you've been rejected several times then I printed the first and second sections out not bothering to print out the one for the formally unrequited. I'm as prepared as I can possibly be.
—Sunday came quicker than I expected, with not one opportunity to talk to Fiat. Clover and Fiat kept disappearing, we don't have to solve the mystery of that, they are probably banging in one of their rooms. Steel and Jay are missing now too probably figuring out how to secure alcohol somewhere. I'm sitting on the balcony of my room watching the sky turn orange, considering maybe sending him a text after I'm on the train to the countryside when something hits my head. I look down next to the lounge chair to see a paper ball on the ground.
I hear someone whistle from above me and look up.
Fiat is leaning over his balcony trying to get my attention. He points to his phone. I look around me for my phone and realize I left it on the bed. I head in to retrieve it. The new message alert.
KingMoron: Meet me in the lobby Loser.
I pull on my hoody and head out of my room and to the elevator.
Fiats already waiting for me when I step off the elevator.
"Took you long enough"
"I wasn't with my phone, what do you want?"
"Just come with me."
He leads me out of the front entrance to a sky-blue moped waiting outside. He motions for me to get on the pillion.
"Where did you get this?"
"Rented it."
"Where are we going?"
"You, with the fucking questions. Just hop on." He snaps.
I do as I'm told. He starts it up and soon I feel the cool breeze against my skin.
"Hold on so you don't fall off."
"Hold on to what?"
He reaches back and wraps my arm around his waist. It occurs to me on the way that there is only tonight, and soon I rest my head on his back and inhale his scent. He will never know I did that, it's a secret only for me.
He turns off the main road and heads down a footpath. The footpath inclines and I realize we're are going further and further uphill. By the time we reach the top, the sun is just about to kiss the horizon, a way better view than my balcony.
We both hop off and he walks ahead of me to the cliff edge.
"Where's Clover?"
He grins "Unconscious."
"Did you hit her with a vase?"
"Nope, just this." He says grabbing his crotch.
Childish. I roll my eyes at him. I squat down and sit near the edge.
"How did you find this place?" I ask
"It was on the back of the brochure."
He sits down beside me and we watch the sun kiss the horizon.
"Why did you bring me here?" I ask finally
"I guess as a sendoff, I can't believe I won't be seeing you for five whole weeks. Do you realize we haven't been separated more than a day or two since we have known each other?"
My skin flushes and I begin to sweat. I can feel him looking at me, but I don't meet his gaze.
"Why does that matter?" I mumble.
He shrugs. "It just does. Besides you have something to tell me."
My head snaps up and I glare at him out of shock.
"How did you know that?"
He rolls his eyes, "Why do you always ask the same questions? you know the answer. I know you. I can tell, somethings bugging you. So go ahead and unburden yourself."
I look down at my hands. I don't even know how to start the sentence.
Fiat I love you.
I love you Fiat.
So, I have this crush Fiat...on you for like forever.
No.
So Fiat you remember that day at the sandbox?
Definitely not.
"Damn, it's that bad?" He shoves at my shoulder. "Hurry up and say it."
"I love you!.. Fiat." Direct.
He smiles. "I love you too, loser." He reaches over and starts patting my head.
I shake my head and grab his wrist. I hold his hand in my lap.
"Fiat, I love you...like you love Clover."
His face falls slowly. We just stare back at each other for I don't know how long, but the sky is getting dark.
Suddenly, he just stands up and heads to the moped."Hurry up or we won't be able to see our way down."
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