-Arie-
"What are you saying?" He asks me, his bushy eyebrows practically connect with tension.
I turn away from him and grab my loofah. I lather it in my eucalyptus-scented body wash that quickly takes over the shower in calming steam.
"You'll be able to like her now that you aren't missing me."
"If you don't live with me I will miss you."
I take a deep breath inhaling the minty scent.
"I'll live with you," I mutter as I start to massage the sudsy loofah against my skin.
He wraps his arms around me. " Really?"
"Yes, but as a friend and only under the condition that you don't break up with her."
"Why?"
"Just because I'm back doesn't mean I agree to be your midnight sex toy. You said you wanted to be friends like we used to be. Let's be friends."
He spins me around to face him.
"I don't want that."
"You did a year ago. How much could have possibly changed?" I tell him as I lean forward to clean my bottom half.
He takes hold of my arm and I peer up at him.
"A lot has changed Arie. I didn't know myself as much as I do now."
"That's nice for you but I still don't know myself. I don't even know for sure if what we have between us was caused by proximity or actual genuine feelings. Even though I know it's wrong I can't even trust my body around you."
"You want that to change?"
"Of course I do. You hurt me really bad I could hardly get out of bed for months. I'm not jumping in feet first just so you can tell me once again you aren't gay months from now. I want to try being friends. I want to try dating."
"Other people?"
"Yes, other people. Why can't I? From what I heard you spread yourself around while I was gone. Also, you are dating Bree. You miss me? You want me near? Ok, you got it but I'm not your courtesan who crawls into your bed when you call. At least not anymore." I say as I reach back to wash my backside.
He takes the loofah from me and takes over the job starting at my neck.
"Is that how you think I see you?"
"Isn't it? A hole to fuck when you want to drive the nightmares away."
He once again takes hold of my chin forcing me to look back at him.
"Never Arie. You were never that. I know I fucked up for way too long. But I never saw you as a hole to fuck. I have always been enamored with every part of you."
"Apart from my dick."
"Don't you see me trying?"
"Maybe I don't want someone to try to be attracted to me. Tee, I want someone who doesn't have to force themselves to love me."
His eyes dart across my face as I try not to scowl at him. He releases my chin and I turn my head to look at the tiles in front of me.
He doesn't refute it. Not that he could we both know. I swallow the lump in my throat as he washes my back working his way down.
"I don't try to love you, Arie. I just always have." He tells me as I turn my back towards the water.
"Yeah and it equates to nothing but me fleeing to Miami with my broken heart in my hand," I say scornfully.
"What's done is done. Let's just move forward." Is the last thing I say as I flee from the shower hoping the conversation is over.
He stays behind to wash up. I dry my hair and body with a towel before looking for my blow dryer. If I don't properly dry my hair it will all frizz up into an Afro.
I locate it in my bathroom closet and plug it in in front of the mirror. Tee steps out of the shower and looks over at me.
"Don't, I'll dry your hair." He says as he wraps a towel around his waist.
"You're all wet." I protest as he takes the dryer from my hand.
"I'll air dry. What is this thing on the end?"
"A diffuser. It reduces frizz."
"Show me."
"You dry from the bottom up, twisting slightly and I'll scrunch. Turn it on before my hair starts to air dry." I instruct.
He is surprisingly good at it and a job that usually takes way too long is done fairly quickly.
I look in the mirror and play with my curls flipping my mane left to right before reaching for my jar of leave-in conditioner. I take a lot and spread it in my palms before combing it through my hair with my fingers.
Tee ducks his head down into my hair as soon as I'm done.
"You're hair always smells so good. I missed that."
"Doesn't Bree's hair smell good?"
"That's the fifth time and yeah I guess. It's long and shiny."
"Like Kelly's?"
"You remember that name?"
"I couldn't forget it. Answer the question."
"I guess."
I scoff, "You always had a type." I mutter on my way out of the bathroom.
I bend over and rifle through my suitcase that I am yet to fully unpack in search of sleep ware.
I locate my lavender teddy nightie and slip it over my head. It's really short and falls just below my dick. I quickly pull on the matching lacy boy shorts before moving toward my bed.
I push my comforter back and sit bedside as I work on lathering my whole body in coconut oil.
"I'll do it." He says from the bathroom doorway looking much dryer than before.
"It's ok." I mutter as I lift both my legs.
He walks over completely nude and sits in front of me as he takes hold of my hands before I start of my legs. He smears the oil onto his hands and gets to work starting up my thigh and working his way down my leg.
"Do you shave your legs?" He asks as he gently rubs the oil against my shin.
"Sometimes. I don't grow a lot of hair on my body."
"Is this why your skin is always so soft?" He asks as he lifts my foot and starts to rub the oil into my heel.
I snatch my foot away. I expected him to stop at my ankle.
He chuckles as he firmly takes hold of my ankle to resume oiling my foot.
"I'm doing it like you do it." He claims but he isn't. I usually do my feet half ass but he rubs my foot massaging the oil in slowly.
"Do your feet hurt? You wore wedges all day."
My feet do ache a bit but I don't admit it.
"How do you know to call them wedges?" I ask as I finger the ruffles on my teddy, not knowing what to do with my hands.
He chuckles, "You forget how close I am with my mom. She always complains about her shoes but buys more and more."
I giggle. I can't wait to storm Aunt Audrey's shoe closet we might wear the same size.
When he is satisfied he lifts my foot and places a kiss underneath.
The actual bottom of my foot. I'm stunned but I don't jerk away this time.
He places my ankle down and reaches over to grab the jar of oil.
He takes a handful and starts on the next leg.
"Do you do this to your girlfriend?"
"That's the sixth time and no I don't."
I few other questions spring up in my mind but I don't utter a word.
Again he works down my legs massaging the oil in.
"When did you start wearing girls clothing." He asks. I stare at his big hands as they work.
"Like six months into the school year. Bryce would take me to drag shows to cheer me up. I loved it and before I knew it we were in the petite girls section at Ross. He would go crazy dressing me like a little doll. I didn't mind it and then I really started to like it. Do you hate it?"
He starts on my next foot.
"No. You look so fucking sexy. The moment I saw you I didn't know whether to fall on my knees and beg for forgiveness or tear your clothes off."
He doesn't even look up from his task as my body breaks out in goosebumps.
Tee has never once called me sexy. He doesn't ever comment on my looks. He is acting so strangely I don't know how to act myself.
I would be lying if I said I didn't like it. But I'm so scared to like it.
The moment he finishes massaging my foot he again lifts it to his mouth and kisses the underside gently.
He parts my legs and scoots himself between them. He guides my leg over his lap before once again reaching for the oil.
"I love how this makes your skin feel and look." He offers as explanation for his bizarro behavior I assume. He lathers his hands and starts to work on my arms.
"I didn't realize how much of yourself you gave to me. Something so precious I didn't appreciate until you were gone. I don't want to ever again make that mistake. You may not be mine anymore but I can't help but act like you are. I'll regret it if I don't."
I let his words sink in as he finishes my arms and lifts my nightie to spread oil on my tummy.
"What made you get a tattoo and pierce your belly button?" He asks as he stares down at my navel.
"I guess I was trying to find myself."
"It's strange, I like it but I also don't."
"Why?"
"I don't want you to change yourself cause of me. I know I never said it but I have always been attracted to you Arie. You were my first crush and my first love. There isn't a part of you that I'm not attracted to. Including your dick."
"You changed so much," I mutter.
He shrugs off my statement, "Do you want me to do your back?"
"No, it's fine."
I pick up a scrunchy from my nightstand and pull my hair up into a high ponytail. His eyes follow my movements attentively.
"Pull the hair out the front like you normally do."
I'm confused for a moment before I realize he means my baby hair.
I pull at the ringlets around my ear.
"The ones by your bang too."
I do as I'm told until short ringlets fall against my face.
He smiles when I'm done and my heart throbs.
"What?"
"You're so beautiful. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."
Before I can say anything he leans forward and kisses me.
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