-Art-:
I wake up at about noon on Saturday. I stayed up late into the night finishing an assignment. I roll over and look at my phone. New message.
#2MoronJ: Clover and Fiat broke up.
Me: Ok..I'll check on Clover
#2MoronJ: Steel went. That's not why I'm telling you.
Me: Why are you telling me?
Me: They are always breaking up, they will make up soon.
#2MoronJ: You know why I'm telling you.
#2MoronJ: They won't makeup, not this time.
I glare at the phone, in confusion.
Me: How do you know they won't make up?
Five minutes go by and he doesn't reply. I get up and head to the shower. When I get out there's a new message waiting.
#2MoronJ: He loves someone else...
My stomach drops to the floor. My fingers are trembling. I wait a few moments.
Me: Who?
#2MoronJ: Still playing dumb?
Me: I don't know what you're talking about.
#2MoronJ: You do.
I don't text him again. I text Clover instead.
Me: Are you ok?
🍀 Clover🍀: I'm ok
Me: What are you doing?
🍀 Clover🍀: Day Drinking
Me: Don't.
🍀 Clover🍀: Don't worry, just a little so I can recover from my night drinking.
Me: Are you Alone?
🍀 Clover🍀: No
Me: Steel?
🍀 Clover🍀: Gem
Me: Who?
Me: Do you want me to come to meet you?
🍀 Clover🍀: No, I'll be over later. I left my car there. Steel is picking me up.
Me: Ok, see you.
-Later-
I open the door, and Clover hands me her overnight bag.
"I'm here to be coddled." She announces.
I look down at her flushed complexion.
She reaches up and brushes her fingertips against my forehead.
"Don't scowl Artbug, you'll get wrinkles."
I set her bag down beside my feet, and open my arms to her. She walks into my arms and lays her head on my chest.
"Are you ok?"
She nods in response. My eyes dart along the empty hallway behind her. "Is Steel coming?"
She breaks the hug and walks into my room, "I sent him off to go be with Fiat. He didn't look good when I left him."
"I think Jays with him too."
"That's good."
We lay in my bed and watch Mean Girls on my laptop.
"You hungry?" I ask.
She takes a deep breath and lays back on the pillow. "I'm nauseous."
"Did you drink too much?"
"No, I don't think that's why I'm nauseous."
I lay down on my side and look at her. Her gaze meets mine.
"Are you sad nauseous?"
She nods.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask her
"Do you?"
I consider her question. I'm terrified to talk about it actually. "Are you mad at me?"
"No, how could I be? You loved him first."
I was unprepared for her response. I sit up and look down at her.
"You knew?"
She sits up to face me, and sighs.
"I guess, I'm not as dumb as I look."
"You're not dumb."
"My math professor would disagree."
"I've taught you longer, I know."
We sit in silence for a few moments listening to the movie. While I build the courage.
"Clover, Fiat doesn't...love me."
"What makes you think that?"
" I just know he doesn't. You know how he is."
"What do you mean?"
"To him... I'm like that toy car."
She looks at me confused. Her eyelashes flutter.
"You think about yourself in the strangest way. Why do you still think about that?"
"It's the truth. It's not that he actually wants me. He just doesn't want anyone else to. Which is strange, but I know I'm right."
"Why do you think of him so harshly?"
" I don't."
"You do. You're harsh to him and harsher to yourself. Why are you comparing yourself to a shabby old car that no one hardly remembers?"
"I remember."
"Have you considered that maybe he's matured?"
"You wouldn't ask that if you knew about the stunt he pulled, the night you had to go home early from the bar."
"I do know."
My eyebrows furrow. I search her face.
"He told you?"
She shakes her head.
"You saw?"
She doesn't say anything.
" You don't know everything then."
She puts her hand up. "Spare me."
"My point is he's confused."
"Your logic is all over the place. The way your mind works is so bizarre to me."
"What do you mean?"
She looks at me as if she's trying to figure out the right words.
"If you really believe all that ask yourself why he only treats you that way. Why doesn't he treat Steel or Jay the way he treats you? He's known them longer. He doesn't even treat me the way he treats you."
"I don't know, I don't think it's out of love though."
"Why couldn't it be? Why can't it be as simple as he loves you but doesn't know how to deal with it?"
"He's not gay."
Clover shoots me a look of disgust, "Don't be basic Art."
"He isn't."
"Does he have to be to love you?"
"Is that a real question?"
"Yes, that's a real question."
"I am a man; he would actually have to like men to love me."
"Ugh, you're being basic again."
"It's the truth."
"It isn't, but as long as you see yourself the way you do I don't think anyone can change your mind. As long as you see yourself as a shabby discarded toy, the truth could literally punch you in the face and you wouldn't see it.."
She stands up on my mattress and looks down at me.
"You should really be nicer to yourself....I need to pee."
Without another word, she walks to the bathroom.
-Monday Afternoon-
I feel anxious as I head from my faculty to sit with the gang at lunch. I relax when I realize only Steel and Jay are there.
"Where is everyone?"
"Fiat had a headache so he went back to his dorm early, and Clover had to see her Professor after class," Jay replies.
I look at Steel who is busy staring hard at his phone.
"Is it wrong to say I'm relieved?" I say to Jay.
"No, you aren't the only one."
"This feels terrible. I don't know what to do. I want to fix it but I don't know how."
"It's awkward yes, but I don't think the situation needs fixing. I think the puzzle pieces are falling into place."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that Fiat and Clover are doing the right thing."
"I'm not so sure. I feel really guilty." I admit.
"Well, you should you broke them up."
I scowl at him.
"No, I didn't."
"If you didn't, why do you feel guilty then? You never felt guilty when they would break up before."
Dick. I ignore his pointed comments.
"I just wish I knew how to help them," I say instead.
"How about going to check on Fiat?"
I grimace. "Can I do something...literally anything else?"
"Maybe, maybe not. But you're his best friend so you kind of have to."
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