A/N: 🌹🌹🌹
**{Leave You Lonely- Tara Carosielli}
- Arie-
We wake from our nap around 1:25pm. The air heavy with the unsaid. Without words, we get out of bed and dress ourselves.
I walk Tee down the stairs and to the front door. He lingers for a while and I wonder if he is contemplating kissing me. But I don't help him. I just stare back at him forcing my features to be as neutral as possible. Reminding myself that we are nothing and to have not an iota of expectation.
"Have a good day." I tell him finally deciding to put him out of his misery.
Not very surprisingly my words urge him to act and he wraps his arm around my waist as he pulls me into a kiss.
It is truly as if he only wants me when I seemingly don't want him. I'm so sick of this game.
After parting he stares at my face for too long.
"What is it?" He asks after a few minutes.
"Have you noticed it's day time?"
He observes me with those deep icy blue eyes for an uncomfortable amount of time.
Then he simply smiles a smile with no warmth, humor, or any true sincerity. It occurs to me that he hated my statement.
Hate the truth Tee?
"Be good." He tells me as I lean forward and pull the door open for him.
Signaling I have had enough and get the fuck out.
He stares at me again as I look at the welcome mat.
When he realizes I plan to give him nothing he leans in and kisses me at the top of my head.
"I'll call you tomorrow."
I'm tempted to tell him to call his fucking girlfriend. Instead, I don't say anything, don't do anything, give nothing.
He walks out the door and I push it closed behind him.
"I fucking hate you Tee," I say aloud to the door in front of me.
"No, you don't." Bryce's voice comes from the top of the stairs and I turn to face him.
"I do. I equal parts love and hate that fucking dickhead."
He takes the steps slowly, his feet thudding hard on the wood as he drops his weight against each one.
He stands in front of me his expression sympathetic.
"This will never end until you stop letting him in here," he taps his index finger against my head.
"In here," he taps his finger against my chest above my heart.
He then pulls me into a hug and pats my buttcheek. "And most importantly in here. How can you get over him if you let him occupy so much space inside you?"
I hold him tight. "I love him so much it actually aches inside."
"I know babe."
"I want to end it but I really don't know how. I thought distance would but I was a fool for ever thinking that."
He sighs, "You make me worry about you so much....We have the house to ourselves hurry up so we can tan."
He lets me go and we just look at each other for a minute.
"I'll get the oil go ahead to the pool." I offer.
"Don't forget to grab the towels." He tells me as he turns toward the kitchen.
******
Bryce was the first person to ever tell me that black people do and should tan.
Now I'm obsessed we both are actually. I already love my skin tone but my skin tone with a slight tan is literally everything and unlike people with a pale skin tone I don't have to do it every day.
Bryce also taught me how to get the best results and that's getting as naked as possible.
We both lay on the lounge chairs poolside. I'm glad my house and as far as I know Tee's house are empty because Bryce and I are barely even covering our dicks.
To be honest I like my dick to tan a little too. It feels nice in the sun.
Yes, living in Miami completely surrounded by gay people has ruined me. Even my uncles tan this way.
"Time to flip." Bryce chimes as he rolls himself in one swoop onto his stomach.
After a minute I follow.
"I might as well take advantage I won't be tanning much anymore." I huff as I flip over.
"Why?"
"It's something I do with you and my uncles. Also, where would I?"
"I guess, are you bummed about it?"
"I'm bummed about a lot of things. I'll just use a darker tinter maybe."
"It's a choice. Tanning is so addicting though."
"It's only fun if you have someone to do it with."
"I guess. I'll miss tanning with you."
"You'll just tan with Dean or one of the other chicken heads you know."
"Ugh, stop depressing the hell out of me and tell me about your date. It must have gone well for you to go ghost."
I'm smiling before I even realize it.
"Literally the best date ever. I honestly can't imagine a date getting much better than that."
Bryce snaps, "Yes! Points for Caleb."
"Lots of fucking points. We got into a fight with three hillbillies and I nearly broke my foot on one of their balls, cried like an actual baby and it was still....everything."
"What?"
"After the fair Caleb took me to Walmart to pick up ice cream and we ran into the actual devil that made high school hell for me. He tried to humiliate me in front of Caleb which he executed savagely. I was so mortified I wanted to die. Caleb ended up getting into a fight with the dickhead and his two idiot friends. But I ended it quickly by tasering all three. I kicked his balls so hard before I tasered him. I have a huge bruise on my foot."
"That is alot."
"A lot happened but Caleb took care of me the entire night. It was actually so romantic. He makes me feel so fem, and sexy. Maybe too sexy we hunched and I actually finished."
Bryce sits up to look at me as he whips his paper fan open dramatically. It's safe to say he is gagged.
"I need lemonade that was a lot of news." He says as he stands and heads into the house.
I follow a moment later and find him sitting at a barstool at the island sipping a tall glass of my mom's freshly squeezed.
I wrap a towel around my waist and lean over the island to watch him. I can't help but chuckle he is a whole Miami vibe. He is dressed in his skimpiest tanning thong and a white mesh coverup that is entirely see thru. He sits his glass down and resumes fanning himself dramatically.
I shake my head at the caricature displayed before me. "Seriously? Tell the world you're gay without telling them you're gay. You are the drama."
Bryce crosses his legs and lifts his chin as he bats his look eyelashes. He fans himself regally.
"You're damn right I am. Netflix cut the check!"
I roll my eyes as I walk over to the microwave to retrieve my breakfast. I pull the foil away for a moment tempted to eat the cheese grits, eggs, and bacon cold. I stick the plate back in the microwave and press the start button to heat it for 30sec.
"And he bought me breakfast at Waffle House before dropping me off this morning. He was a perfect southern gentleman." I add as the microwave dings and I quickly grab my plate.
"That sounds chivalrous, the way you said that it's almost as if you like him."
I consider it as I pick a fork from the drawer before setting my plate down on the island.
"I think I actually do a little bit. I wouldn't have rubbed crotches with him if I didn't." I admit as I dig into my grits.
"Will you see him again?"
"If he asks most definitely. Bryce....Caleb turns me on. I was turned on the entire night. I was turned on when he walked me to the door this morning. He is a turn on. Handsome, sweet, funny, the filter thing we can work on but even that at times is endearing. He makes me laugh, and like swoon. He takes care of me when I'm with him. To be honest he makes me feel like a woman. Like a sexy woman..beautiful too."
Bryce flutters his eyelashes, "That is alot for a first date. That is alot period. You just met him Arie."
"I don't second guess myself when I'm with him. I have never experienced that. When I'm with him there is no mistaking how he feels about me. Besides him actually telling me repeatedly. The way he looks at me, the way he touches me, and holds me. Caleb treats me like I'm already his but he's patient enough to let me catch up. But the thing is I like his pace so I don't even hesitate because it feels natural to be with him."
Bryce just blinks slowly as he contemplates my words.
"Are you telling me Caleb is a contender? In one night? I thought it would be like a cute casual date what the fuck are you doing?"
"It's not me. You told me to follow his lead I did exactly that. He lead the entire night and he makes it easy to follow."
"Fuck!"
I sigh, "Fuck is right."
"You just slept with Tee this morning! Are you going to stop?"
"I want too...
"But?"
"More like I want to want to. I don't actually want to. That would be like giving up on him and I promised I wouldn't do that...at least not yet. He pisses me off so badly but I do see him trying,"
"Trying to do what?"
"Trying to fix himself and be brave..for me."
Bryce blinks at me again for a full minute.
"Do you remember when I told you that you weren't messy?"
"Yeah."
Bryce flicks his fan once again. "I was wrong. You're a mess, a wreck, an avalanche, a quake, a tsunami, a monsoon all the disasters. You have to be fucking kidding right now."
"Harsh."
"Actually factual. Do you plan to carry on with both of them? Friends? Teammates?"
I pout at him as he gawks at me.
"Can't I? Can't I be selfish just this once?"
"Arie, I would definitely co-sign if they didn't know each other. Or even barely knew each other but how do you intend to get away with this?"
"Actually, it just occurred to me I don't. If Tee wants to continue with me he is going to have to actually try and I'm not going to lie to either of them."
Bryce eyes go big, "That...might actually be worse. I think you should lie to them."
"That won't work they are too close."
He doesn't say anything for a long time, so long I start to feel anxious and start biting my lip in agitation.
"Hmm ok." He says with a strained smile after like five minutes.
"Ok what?"
"Ok. I'll keep praying for you."
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