“Where did you disappear to?” Angelo asked.

I was laying down on the bench outside the dorms and had a bottle of Coke on my stomach.

“They didn’t have Pepsi,” I said as I handed him the bottle.

“Did you finish your food?”

Angelo hovered over me for a moment before pushing my legs off of the bench. He sat on the area my feet used to be and I sighed before sitting upright.

“I didn’t get anything,” I said.

My hair was messed up and the hair band I used was sliding off. I made the executive decision to let my hair loose and shove the band into my pocket. I sat up and put my hand on my head which pulled out some hairs in the process.

Angelo opened the drink and took a cautious sip from it. He was quiet but not in the usual way that I was used to. He seemed to be contemplating and gathering his thoughts as his eyes looked far off into the distance while he sipped on the coke every so often.

“Do you have issues with Allie?” Angelo asked. Each word was said with hesitance as if he was asking an invasive question.

“No,” I groaned. “She’s… good.”

“Then what’s the issue?” He asked.

The heels of my hands pressed against my eyes as I squeezed them tightly shut. “I just don’t like talking about high school. It was a sucky place so there’s no reason to really linger on it.”

“Usually, people just talk shit about their school and not run away like that.”

I didn’t like how Angelo’s commentary made me feel. It was a punch to the gut and my instinctive reaction was to pull my knees to my chest and bury my face in them, making it harder for Angelo to look at my face.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Angelo asked. His hand hovered over my shoulder. I didn’t see it but I could feel the warmth since his hand was so close but not close enough to make contact.

I sighed. “If I don’t know if you’d get it.”

“Why?”

“It’s just complicated.”

“You can try and explain it and I’ll do my best to understand.”

I retreated into myself further. “I really don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“I thought you were the one that wanted open communication between us since we’re roommates,” Angelo remarked. He seemed to have found humour in the situation but I could hear a twinge of bitterness in his tone. “If we’re not letting Allie visit us anymore, I probably need to know the situation fully if you’re cool with her.”

“Yeah, well,” I struggled to think of something before eventually giving up. “It’s not fun to be reminded that I’m one of the most undesirable people to exist.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Allie is the only person I’ve ever dated. It’s sort of sad.”

“How? You’re a good-looking guy.” Angelo cleared his throat. “Like I’m saying that as a guy that has working eyes.”

My arms now loosely held my knees and my gaze was directed towards the ground. Some leaves rolled by with the help of the cool breeze and I wasn’t sure if my body was slowly becoming numb due to the cold or if my mind had just shut down.

“Most queer guys didn’t want to date an Asian guy. They said I wasn’t masculine enough to date and that Asian guys were practically girls,” I muttered.

There was silence. I wasn’t sure what Angelo was thinking or what his reaction was. Before I could stop myself, my eyes wandered to Angelo and I could only see pure rage in his eyes.

“Those guys are pure trash,” Angelo said. “You don’t even deserve to even be looked at by them. There are plenty of other people that find you hot. You like girls, right? With both genders, there’s bound to be someone who likes you.”

“Not really, they thought I was gay and I would eventually leave them for men,” I said bitterly. “Allie was the only one that took a chance and saw me as a person rather than a stereotype. But then it turned out she wasn’t actually attracted to me.”

“Boo.”

My sight was blocked by Angelo’s face and my mind replayed what I had just said. I felt like I was going to die right then and there at how pathetic I sounded.

“People don’t like me. So, what?” I shrugged and attempted to distance myself from Angelo by leaning backward. “Stretched lobes and tattoos with long hair? I thought they looked cool but maybe my mom was right and I looked more intimidating than I thought.”

“Boo, stop it.”

He grabbed my wrists and I realized he did that so I would stop pulling my hair out.

“Why?” An unhinged laugh bubbled up my throat. “It’s not like someone will want to date me right here and now.”

“I’ll date you right here and now!”

Horror filled my eyes and my body seized up. Angelo seemed to have realized what he just said and stared back at me with uncertainty.

Angelo licked his lips. “Like for the book.”

My eyebrows slowly knitted together and I slowly nodded at him. “Yeah, for the book.”

He quickly took his hands off of me and stood up straight.

“We still have a day of writing ahead of us. We already slacked off enough with dorm visits and running away.”

He began to quickly walk away, clearly distressed by the interaction we had. I paused before deciding to speak up before any misunderstandings could happen.

“Does that mean I should start referring to you as my boyfriend now?” I asked.

He jumped. “I. Um. If it helps with your book. Just don’t get the wrong idea.”

He slowly disappeared into the building and I was left alone on the bench to process what he just said.

What was that supposed to mean?