The week following the procedure was humiliating. I didn’t get used to the tube. It was constantly there, reminding me of how little power I had over myself and my body. Just because I wanted a career in the military, I had to subject myself to this humiliation. To let the alphas do whatever they wanted with me, and to let them decide what I had to do with my body.

The tube was so fucking uncomfortable. Sitting normally wasn’t an option since it felt like it was trying to dig its way into my stomach. Any kind of squatting, bending over, even walking up the stairs, required a lot of focus or it would’ve come out. I didn’t want to sleep because I feared I’d try to take it out. Using the toilet was the worst, for obvious reasons.

Just a normal week for an omega in the army. Just a normal week filled with self-hate, disgust, and humiliating situations where I had to try to excuse myself from training without having to explain to my captain and the rest of the team I had a tube up my ass that would fall off if I had to run another lap.

When the week was over, I was so goddamn relieved I was allowed to take it out. Until I actually tried to take it out, and I learned it never was in danger of falling out.

I probably would’ve cried if I hadn’t run out of tears years ago while I squatted over a towel in the middle of my flat with my fingers up my ass trying to get a good grip on the slippery, dirty tube. Whenever I did get a hold on it, it was so tightly lodged in me that I feared I’d rip the stitches right out if I pulled too hard. I tried everything I could think of. Switching positions, rotating, nudging different ways, everything. As the frustration grew, I thought about cutting the first ring on the tube to get the air out, but something about having a knife in my ass stopped me.

I gave up and fell on my knees on the floor, taking in deep breaths to stop myself from getting more emotional. I was tired and miserable, and this only added to my humiliation. I could almost see Commander Stoll standing above me, laughing at this pathetic sight he had put me into. He would’ve loved watching me struggle like this.

The only option I had left was to get aroused. There was something sick about that thought. Like I was forced to reward myself after going through something so humiliating; to teach my body that letting alphas do disgusting and twisted things to me was good and exciting.  

The worst part was that I chose this path in life to become strong enough to never let alphas use me however they pleased again, but the harder I fought, the easier it became for them to put me back to my place. This time, they didn’t even have to do anything. I had to be the best submissive omega there was just so I could continue fighting.

I was so unbelievably disgusted with myself…

I closed my eyes, trying to empty my mind to focus on the surrounding scents. The alphas. It was the easiest way to get aroused in this situation, but I hated that thought. I’d spend years trying to teach my body not to get affected by them, and now I needed them to get rid of the fucking tube that was in me because an alpha forced me to have the operation.

Was this ever going to stop…? Would I ever be strong enough to be completely free from their grip?

But it wasn’t as easy as I’d thought. Getting hard by the scents alone was difficult after me and my omega had spent years learning to feel disgusted by them. I was proud of myself. The timing couldn’t have been worse, but it gave me twisted pleasure knowing that at least I couldn’t be so easily seduced by them. I really needed to focus and use my hands to get even a little bit of slick out of myself.

I sat there on my knees, slowly fingering myself while gently stroking my dick, trying to let the pheromones get to me. I kept my eyes closed, trying to see myself with a man. A good man. Another omega. Not with an alpha. Never with an alpha. Someone who treated me well. Someone strong. Hot. Muscular. Big. Wild.

My breath grew short, and my heart raced. The man in my mind grew in every way as I got more aroused. But he was not an alpha. If he resembled one, that was only because the omega in me wanted that, still carefully wishing we’d finally find a good one. It was encoded in our instincts. At that moment, all I cared about was the fact that this daydream was working, and I was producing slick.

I tried again to pull the tube out of me, and this time I could feel it loosening up. I tried to move it back and forth for a moment, trying to get enough slick around the rings. Finally, it moved. Only for a fracture of an inch, but it moved. It was the beginning of my long fight to get it out while ignoring the uncomfortable tightness and hoping I wasn’t tearing the stitches.

But in the end, I got it out. It fell on the towel, my ass relieved from the constant pressure I’d been in. I took a short glimpse of the tube, then turned away in disgust. The clear walls did not hide anything, but at least it was clean on the outside – apart from my slick. That had to mean it had done its job and protected my healing stitches. I wrapped it tightly in the towel, then stuffed it in a plastic bag to get rid of it later.

My hard-on was already gone, so it was safe for me to grab another towel and go wash myself. I felt dirty, but it was the kind of filth that water couldn’t wash away. But at least it was now over. I just had to be careful so the Lace wouldn’t kill me.

*****

I didn’t really feel any different with the Bitch Lace. I didn’t feel it, and it wasn’t affecting any of my bodily functions. Hell, I would’ve forgotten it existed if the experience of getting it hadn’t been so humiliating. I still felt dirty. I still was disgusted with myself. But otherwise, the Lace didn’t make a difference.

Until my heat started.

My heats had always been quite easy to bear with the medication I was on. I usually only had light fever and distracted thoughts on top of occasional abdomen pain, but there were times when I hardly even knew I was in heat.

Now I did. Now I fucking did.

I woke up with uncomfortable pressure somewhere in my lower stomach. I tried to pay no mind to it, but it kept growing worse as the morning went by. My heat cramps had suddenly gotten ten times more intense. I took a few strong painkillers, but those only took the worst edge off. Even my fever was higher than normal, and because no one had mentioned that could happen, I spent a few restless moments searching for information about the procedure in case the stitches were already infecting my insides. It wasn’t until the third article I read about higher fever during heats that I was finally convinced it was normal. My body was just in a lot of stress. Which, of course, didn’t really make me feel better.

I was also feeling sick, but I wasn’t sure if it was because of the Bitch Lace…

…or because I was going to meet Commander Stoll.

I really didn’t fucking want to. I never wanted to see that man ever again, and now I had to go to him when I was in pain, sick, and feeling like shit. And I fucking hated the fact that I had the option to not go, but that would mean I’d never advance further in my career. Now I had the Bitch Lace, too. Not going would mean I went through that humiliating procedure for nothing.

It was just sex. Just an hour of more humiliation and pain.

But that didn’t mean I didn’t hate myself later that day when I stopped in front of Commander Stoll’s secretary, and he looked up at me with a question in his eyes. I wasn’t sure why I was surprised he was an Alpha. Obviously Stoll wasn’t hiring omegas in any positions in his army.

“I’m here to see Commander Stoll,” I told him.

“Name?”

“Riley Steele.”

“…There’s nothing scheduled with that name.”

“Just tell him I’m here,” I told him.

“That’s not how this works,” he said, his eyes trailing down on my body. “Omega.”

“He didn’t tell me to schedule a meeting. He only told me to come today,” I said.

He watched me for a brief moment, then leaned back in his seat, crossing arms over his chest. He looked amused. “Riley Steele… You’re the Bitch Lace.”

I didn’t reply to him. “Are you letting him know I’m here or not?”

He took another good look at me, then grabbed his phone with a snort. “Sir? Private Steele is here to see you. Of course. Sure.”

He put his phone down and gestured for me to enter the office, not bothering to hide his degrading smirk. I turned my back on him and made my way to the door at the end of the hallway. I knocked on it, waited for a reply, then stepped in.