Armed with knives and guns, Dick, Franky, and Viktor roamed the streets of Waverly Hills listening closely for the cry of an infant. Dick let Viktor bring his skateboard to keep himself busy, which made him slightly more content with the situation than he had been before. It was the only thing Viktor went outside to do, and he was so confident in his skill that he forgot who he was while he was doing it. People would stare as he rode the streets, sleeves rolled up over broken bones and flesh tearing at metal seams. He could no longer feel the wind on his skin or the sun heating his thinning hair, but it didn’t matter. And that night, he forgot he was supposed to be on the lookout for a triple-eyed demon, and that he had joined a cult just to be with his only friends as much as he could.

Dick tried his hardest to look away from Viktor’s shrinking figure while Franky played games with himself, trying to catch the loose threads and pieces of tape Viktor left behind wherever he went. But the two paused when, coming from the gas station, an infant’s cry filled the silent night. One beaten blue car occupied the parking lot, which Dick assumed belonged to Spence, but there was another car by the pump. A figure convulsed behind it, obscured by the machine but slightly lit by the dim overhead lights. Dick raised his gun, as did Franky once he saw what Dick was doing. They slowly neared the station, trying not to startle the creature, whether it was intelligent or not. Noticing his roommates were no longer following him, Viktor stopped on the street and waited, fearing another confrontation with a violent being. 

But as they came closer to the car and the pump, Dick noticed a pair of legs underneath the car, sporting a familiar pair of worn sneakers and baggy jeans. Dick lowered his gun for a moment as he cocked his head, confused. He looked into the store and noticed Spence was no longer at his post. 

“Spence,” Dick said quietly. Spence rolled out from under the car on a small creeper, his face streaked with sweat and oil. His blue checkered flannel was tied around his waist, causing his white tank to also become stained. Yet in the heat he still didn’t take off that stupid beanie. 

“Busy,” he said plainly. He rolled back underneath the car, his voice becoming muffled by the sound of a creaking bolt. “Thought you were leaving forever, blondie.”

“Shhh,” Dick whispered. “Don’t move.”

Spence obliged, but he didn’t come out from underneath the car to identify the apparent threat. Dick and Franky crept closer to the pump where the creature was cooing, sucking on something. Gritting his teeth and squinting his eyes, Dick prepared to come across an unearthly, supernatural being feeding on discovered roadkill, or worse, a person. 

He stepped in front of the pump, his gun at the level of his eyes, and Franky followed suit. “Gotcha, bitch!” Dick said, his heart beating into his throat. But in the place of the demon was a human woman, no horns or wings or tail, nursing a human baby. Her eyes held all the fear of her life as the barrel of the gun was pointed right between them. Dick immediately put his gun down, and then into his pocket, and held his palms up. 

“I’m--I’m so sorry,” he said. Franky stopped copying Dick’s every move once he saw the baby, whom he instantly fell in love with, as he did with every baby and small animal he came across.

“Can I hold the baby?” he said, a sweet smile on his face and his eyes all aglow. The woman held her child tight to her chest, turning away from the two boys. Spence came from around the pump as Dick tried frantically to explain the misunderstanding to the poor mother. He held a screwdriver in his hand as he grabbed Dick by the collar of his sweater, pulling him harshly to his face and shaking him in anger.

“Are you fucking insane?” Spence growled through gritted teeth. “What the fuck is wrong with you? What the actual fuck is wrong with you?”

He held the sharp end of the screwdriver to Dick’s neck. Dick tried to pry Spence’s hands off of him, appalled by the strength that came with his anger. “There’s a demon going around, and it cries like a baby,” Dick said to him. “There’s a demon that mimics the sound of a baby and I was trying to find it. I’m--I’m supposed to kill it so it doesn’t hurt anyone. I…I thought…it was that…”

Spence released Dick’s hoodie, turning his back to him as he ran his hands through his hair, letting out a long sigh. Dick turned to the woman, who was watching closely as Franky fulfilled his wish of holding her child. Luckily, her supposed heart attack seemed to calm and Franky was sufficiently soothing the baby. “It left red and blue blood all down the street,” she said. “It had three eyes.”

“Right. That’s the one we were looking for,” Dick said. “I’m sorry if your life flashed before your eyes or anything like that. Spence usually attracts demons and monsters and all sorts of natural disasters, so I guess that’s why we went this way first.”

Spence glared at Dick, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the pump. Viktor came skipping over when he concluded the danger was no more, and there was a baby he could look at too. “Let me guess, Sheriff Shitling put you up to this? He must know you have a lot of hatred and desired violence in your blood,” Spence said. Dick shrugged and looked away for a moment.

“No, not exactly. Sterling would be the last person trying to set me up on a killing streak. He totally hated me when my dad was still around,” Dick replied.

“Anyone would. Including me. And I still hate you. If he didn’t put you up to this, then who did?”

Dick glanced at Franky, Viktor, the woman, and then back at Spence. A cold sweat trickled down his forehead as he pondered if it was allowed to speak of the devil to outsiders. But they hadn’t done anything horrible yet, so how could they get in trouble?...Well, besides Ted, who could apparently see everything, and he might get upset if Dick exposed their cult to normies…

But Franky spoke up first, cutting Dick’s thoughts short. “Ted Ramirez,” he said. “He’s a demon and he leads a cult and we’re in the cult. He doesn’t want other demons to roam the earth so we have to kill them all.”

Dick pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers, but Spence didn’t seem to be fazed at all. The woman was distracted, helping Viktor hold her baby, who was now peacefully sleeping. “Well, that guy’s delusional,” Spence said, rolling his eyes. “And so are all of you. He’s not really a demon. You know that, right?”

“No, he is. He has horns and wings and a tail that moves like a cat. His manager is Lupita and she has these cool goat legs,” Franky said happily, wringing his hands in excitement. 

“Satan literally came into your place of work a day ago,” Dick added in disbelief.

“It was just a guy in a costume.”

“He had supernatural strength and could not be inflicted with damage.”

“It’s just a whole elaborate ruse meant to stir the townsfolk, Dickwad. There’s no such thing as demons or ghosts or Bigfoots or aliens or Santa Claus. I hope your parents taught you that when you were a kid but considering how you turned out I’m starting to think they didn’t teach you anything.”

Dick rolled his eyes. “Do you want to see?” he said.

“You’re about the slowest burner I’ve ever met, if you couldn’t tell I’m busy all day every day. You’ll be left with a costume headband and a disbanded cult, anyway.”

Spence walked back to the car and continued to fix it. After giving the baby back to its mother, Viktor went to Franky's side and held the crook of his elbow. Dick’s heart began to feel heavy when he was no longer talking to Spence, and so he slowly made his way to the car, waiting for Spence to notice he was there. When Spence would feel the ground for his lost tools, Dick would find them and hand them to him, without Spence realizing it was him. When he finally rolled back out, he jumped in surprise seeing Dick towering over him.

“Fine, I’ll go to your stupid Villain Cult and see your stupid demon leader and kiss his stupid ass. Does that make you happy?” Spence said as he stood up, disgruntled.

“Say the name right, and then I’ll be happy,” Dick replied, following him to the other side of the pump. 

“Well, I don’t know the right name. I’m not a freak weirdo like you are.”

Spence approached the woman and handed her his bottle of water. “Are you doing okay?” he asked her, to which she nodded in response. “Your car should be working now. I also changed the oil, shined the tire caps, cleaned your cupholders and put an air freshener in there. No charge.”

“Are you sure? That was much more than you needed to do…” the woman replied, her eyes wide in shock.

“Yeah. You should get home and get some rest.” Spence touched the palm of the baby’s hand, to which its fingers curled around his.

After the woman had left, Spence reluctantly walked back to the Valian’s House with his new crewmates. He tried to bring up the rear of the group, slowing his pace so he wasn’t next to any of them, but his long legs immediately stopped his efforts. With that out of his focus, he was trying hard not to look at Franky, who was staring at him and stumbling because he wasn’t watching where he was going. It was hard when Franky's silver eyes were sparkling with such wonder that seemed to draw Spence closer.