“Big Brother, let me guess why you’ve been pacing to and fro our yard this early in the morning.”

My sister sits on a cushioned chair on the front porch, reading a book on one hand, hot choco on the other. Relaxed. What a person enjoying the weekend should look like. I wish I can do the same.

I just give her a weary look, which I hope she interprets as, “Please don’t say anything”.

But of course, nothing stops her.

“Surely, it is about that guy. Were you dumped?” A smirk crosses her face.

“Jae-In, I’m not in the mood for your teasing.” She is right, though. It is about that guy.

“You gave him a letter, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I placed it inside the drawer of his desk.”

“He read it?”

“I saw him put it in his bag.”

She closes her book and gently places it on the coffee table beside her.

“So… the problem is?”

“He hasn’t exactly responded of anything. It’s already been two days.”

“Well, maybe he’s thinking about it. Don’t be a worrywart. And stop moving about like that; I feel dizzy.”

I wish I can. But I don’t know. I just feel so... restless. I can’t help it. The uncertainty makes me anxious. Has he been assured by the letter? Does he still think I am a danger? What is he thinking right now?

“C’mon. MinSeok has been a bit of a loner all this time. I don’t think he’s the type to receive letters often. This might be new to him too. Let him think about it.”

“Yes, I know. But still—” Wait a minute. I stop walking to look at my sister. “How do you know his name?”

A proud smile appears on her lips. “You mentioned that guy broke down, remember? It just so happens some classmates of mine witnessed someone collapsing by the gates Wednesday morning.”

“Oh.”

“A bit of questioning here and there led me to the name... Shim MinSeok.” She winks at me as she takes a sip of her dark choco.

My chest tightens. There’s nothing wrong with her knowing MinSeok’s name. But... why do I suddenly feel shy? Maybe even… embarassed.

“He’s cute by the way,” she continues. “Fair skin. Round face. Gentle eyes. How tall is he?”

“Not sure. But his head barely reaches my face.”

“Oooooh, so when you hug him, his head will rest perfectly on your shoulders?”

The scene she pictures flashes to my mind.

“Hey!” I shout—directed to myself rather than to her. Why did I imagine it?

“I approve of him,” Jae-In interjects my thoughts.

“Approve of what?”

“As my brother-in-law...”

“Stop it!”

She just makes a high-pitched giggle then returns to her book as if she wasn’t just talking to me.

My cheeks are burning, and my stomach feels heavy. I’m confused. What is this? Jae-In and I tease each other a lot but I’ve never “felt” this way. Oh, maybe because I’m exposed to the sun. I've been here for a while, after all. I’ll just take a shower to cool off.

The scenery startles me. I have been “pacing to and fro” and I didn’t realize I made such a mess in the process. Mud and trampled grass decorate the yard like some abstract art—including Mom’s garden. I guess I won’t be thinking of MinSeok for a while. With this mess, I’ll have to focus on avoiding Mom’s wrath first.

“Jae-In. I think your brother has a bigger problem. Help?”

Jae-In spares me a quick glance and goes back to her book.

“Hmmmm… No.”