She always looks away from the gazes I hoped she'd catch. It's f*cking hard to keep her from putting her wall up, always on her toes, ready to run. It's like chasing after her was the only thing I ever do. Even now, she's not listening to a word I'm saying. I don't know what it is that's running through her mind, nor do I know why it's her I've chosen to pursue. Against the rules? Did it matter? Was love always so simple, so simple that I could just put it aside? It's never really crossed my mind and I've never given it much thought until recently. Well, not recent, I suppose. It's been quite a long time. It's not a vague memory, but I'd rather not admit to it. Let's just say, I've always looked at her.

"-tonight," I end.

Her eyes are off somewhere else, day dreaming or watching Bom like she always does when she's with me.

Sometimes, I think, she may not even be interested in men. Men...

"What?" She asks.

"Would you go on," I look around, "a date with me?"

The difficult part about this isn't the fact that YG would be breathing over me for even thinking such a thing, it's the fact that he may not need to.

If she were to say no... that was what I feared most.

She looks at me, bewildered beyond comprehension.

It's a simple question, I would think, one she would surely be able to understand and answer, whether it'd be 'yes' or 'no'.

She fiddles with her fingers and her lips pressed into a slight pout. Deeply thinking... or not. Maybe she's trying to find a way to reject me in the nicest possible way. I honestly have no idea. Bom was definitely right to coach me in this. Patience is something I have, true, but my racing heart can only take so much, can only wait for so long. She keeps up with her long pause until the time is no longer of abundance and we are back to standing and pretending to be okay. She dances, while I try to keep up, my mind on her. The days I spent practicing with Bom is turning into a waste of time as the day drags. She would keep avoiding me, reasons even I could not deny. Whoever said showbiz and love were easy, was lying. It wasn't simple at all.

author's note.

2017: "Whoever said showbiz and love were easy," no one ever says that I think... maybe. I dunno. Not in showbiz. Lol. What do you think? Do people ever think, "love is easy"?