It probably should have felt like the end of the world, being told that an injury you sustained would lead to death if left untreated.

Shane didn’t really think much of it.

After he and Niko were discharged, he pushed that information to the farthest reaches of his mind so he could focus on reviewing because exams were coming up and they took precedence over everything else in his life. (Because they were upon him. Because they were the immediate threat on the horizon. And for no other reason.)

“You good?”

He looked up from the index he was sorting through. Agila had stopped by his house earlier that day to drop off his belongings, so the evening after they were allowed to go home Shane was finally able to get to his beloved reviewers. He didn’t really feel like reviewing – he didn’t quite feel like anything, if he was being honest. But it was something to do, and so he did it.

“Fine. Why?”

His brother Shawn shrugged. He had just gotten home from baseball practice (and the usual events that took place after practice, like having dinner with his teammates) and was still sitting in his uniform at the dining table.

“I dunno. Just thought you’d be a lot less…” He trailed off. 

Shane waited patiently.

“... Uh, I dunno. Nevermind. Just thought I’d ask.”

Shane knew what he was talking about. But he didn’t want to acknowledge it, so he turned to his phone instead. His eyes were glazing over from all of the information on his reviewers; it was about time for a break.

wilde child

Did you get home okay?

Niko was more or less in the same mindset.

He had more pressing things to think about, and his currently inevitable fate was not one of them. For instance, there was his group’s thesis manuscript revisions that still needed doing because he spent the last thirty-six hours in a hospital with no access to his laptop.

“I’m sure Kuya Noah will understand,” his cousin Peach consoled him as he started up the stairs. She had more or less been quiet the whole commute home, but it seemed like she finally reached a point in her concern where she felt the need to voice it.

“Yeah. I know he will.” Niko replied gingerly. He was moving way too fast. His rib was complaining and he could feel the pain all the way down to the base of his spine.

He’ll always understand, he thought.

But even though he knew better, his brain kept running circles around silly little what-ifs that were starting to give him terrible heart palpitations.

What if Noah didn’t understand this time around?

What if he just decided he had given Niko too many chances already?

What if this time was different?

Niko cursed under his breath. His chest was aching. He was breathing too hard and fast.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. He stopped halfway up the stairs to check who had messaged him.

sadboyxx

Yeah, thanks. Did you?

Shane reached out and turned over his index cards so that the blank backs were showing. He was getting distracted by all the words.

wilde child

Yepp

I also got my reviewers back so yay hahaha

Did you get your umbrella back?

Niko sat down at his desk and turned on his laptop. His gums were tingling, his fingers going prickly with the onset of numbness as he scrolled through his documents folder in search for that godforsaken manuscript.

sadboyxx

Yeah, Peach dropped by Eden and picked it up for me this morning.

Shane twirled his pen around his thumb. He was stuck on a particularly tricky mnemonic that was eight letters long and had too many names attached to it.

wilde child

That’s good

Niko minimized the file explorer window and opened up his browser. His hands were starting to shake. He couldn’t do this. Not right now.

sadboyxx

Yeah,

By the way… About the meeting next week,

Shane got up to grab a glass of water. He needed to move. He was getting caught in a loop repeating the same mnemonic over and over without knowing what it meant. He didn’t want to look at his reviewers to figure out what the answer was. He just needed to move.

wilde child

Yeah?

Niko took a breath so deep that his rib started aching. He held a hand against his chest, cursing and muttering profanities. How was he supposed to calm down when he couldn’t do basic breathing exercises?

sadboyxx

Do you want to go together? I can take you to the office.

I mean, if you’re not going with Mika.

Shane spilled the water. He wasn’t paying attention while he was pouring it and it started overflowing onto the kitchen counter.

“Crap!” He yelped.

“You good?” His brother asked again from the dining table.

“Fine.”

wilde child

Nah Mika has exams until five

Mine end at 3.. What about you?

Niko fumbled with plugging his earphones in. His thoughts were getting too loud. He needed to listen to something or he was going to lose it.

sadboyxx

My last exam ends at 1,

I can wait.

If you want me to?

Shane downed his entire glass of water in a single swig. He wished it was beer. He wanted to get a little tipsy. But drinking was for after finals ended, so he pushed the thought away and went right back to running through his stupid mnemonics.

wilde child

Okayyy.

Yeah, that’s fine! 

Meet you in the lobby?

Niko closed his eyes. It didn’t do much; he could see his thoughts floating around in the black space behind his eyelids. Font size twelve, font color white, written in all caps.

Relax, he told himself.

Relax.

sadboyxx

Yeah.

See you, good luck with exams.

wilde child

See you.

Shane wished he didn’t mention exams. He was already thinking about them; he didn’t need another reminder. He still had four subjects to go before he was done reviewing for the day.

Damn. 

“Where are you going?” His brother asked as he marched past the dining room.

“I’m going to take a nap,” he proclaimed. He took his phone with him, so he most definitely was not going to take a nap. He was likely just going to lie in bed and scroll through social media to try and pretend like he wasn’t slowly short-circuiting.

“Okay. Have a good nap.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t forget to eat when you wake up.”

“I won’t.”