05

JOL WAS GOING TO be meeting up with Aafia during daylight hours for the first time ever, and she didn’t know how to act. She kept changing her clothes and messing with her makeup. She’d switched her outfit three times already, though she never liked anything she put on. 

Jol paced and ran a hand over her head. 

Finally, she settled on a pair of baggy black jeans and a tight-fitting crop-top with a large zip-up sweatshirt over it. She put on her shoes, and waited for Aafia down the street from her house at the bus stop. The road was quiet that day, the only noise being the occasional car driving by. The sky was grey. Jol wished her mood was better, but the twisting grey clouds matched the twisting in her gut. 

Jol hated being nervous. 

Aafia showed up not much later, a bright smile on her face and two to-go coffees from starbucks in her hand. Jol smiled and accepted the cup offered to her. She sipped her coffee, black, just how she liked it, just as the bus pulled up. They got off near the shopping center and walked the rest of the way. Jol sipped her coffee as they walked, her mood much better. Coffee was magical sometimes. 

They threw their empty cups in the trash cans by the doors and walked into the mall. It was crowded and loud that Saturday morning, which was to be expected, but no less annoying. The first store they went to was an alternative clothing store, for Jol. They spent a good amount of time browsing and trying on clothes before they checked out, then they were off to another one that Aafia liked. 

They continued like that for a while, until it was around noon and both of the girls’ stomachs were grumbling. Aafia giggled when Jol’s tummy made a loud strangled noise. Jol felt her cheeks heat up but laughed it off. 

She shoved her shoulder into Aafia’s. Aafia did it back. Their hands brushed against each other. They brushed again. Jol hid her smile by looking away when Aafia grabbed Jol’s hand . They walked hand-in-hand to the food court, where they struggled to decide what to eat. 

“The italian place looks so good!” Jol defended herself. 

“That isn’t italian that’s cheap pizza, let’s go to that one!” Aafia pointed to a shop that sold pretzels. “Look, they even have unsalted cinnamon and pumpkin ones!” Aafia said as she dragged Jol to the pretzel stand. 

“No.” 

―

“Goddamn, this is so good,” Jol groaned as she shoveled more  cinnamon-covered pretzel bites into her mouth. Aafia nodded. Jol was too busy eating to be embarrassed for saying that. 

“I told you!” Aafia exclaimed when she swallowed.

 Jol sighed and nodded. “You told me.” Aafia grinned, and Jol had to admit that it was too great of a smile to be mad at. 

They quickly got bored of shopping, so they headed to the park instead. 

“It's so weird during the day...” Jol muttered. Aafia nodded. They sat down on a bench and looked at all the children running around. Aafia glanced over and smiled. 

Jol died.  

Aafia held out her hand. 

Jol took it. 

Later, when they went their separate ways, Aafia kissed Jol’s cheek as a farewell.

―

When Jol got home, she let out a squeal and called Dan. 

“She’s so pretty, and I’m so so so very gay, and we held hands and when we got off the bus she kissed my cheek, and—” Jol was panicking. Aafia had kissed her cheek. 

Aafia had kissed her cheek. 

Oh god, Aafia kissed my cheek. 

Jol let out a high-pitched noise and jumped in the air a few times to let out her energy. 

She felt like she was on the top of the world. Also, she felt very, very gay. Dan didn’t say anything as she rambled on about the pretty girl that had kissed her cheek, he simply let her talk. 

“And she looked so pretty in the sunlight, like a goddess. I just wanted to kiss her face off, but I couldn’t because it would be too soon.” 

Finally, Dan spoke, “Girl, you’re a lesbian, kiss her face off.” 

Jol’s laughter burst out of her unexpectedly. Dan laughed along with her. 

“I mean, it’s true. She already looks at you like you’re the sun,” Dan said when their laughter had settled. 

“But she’s the sun,” Jol muttered. Jol hated being shy. She coughed it off. Dan chuckled. 

“Aww, you’re already so far gone…” Dan said. Jol wanted to smack him. 

“I’m glaring at you through the phone right now, just so you know.” 

“I know, I was counting on it, baby.” 

“Oh, shut the fuck up, you big flirt. You don’t even like girls.” 

“Sadly…” Dan sighed. 

“Yeah, men really suck, don’t they?” 

“Oh that reminds me! I was on this date once and…” Dan continued to tell his story of how men suck and only want you for your body. Jol agreed. 

“-didn’t take her meds-” 

Jol jolted. Had she heard that right, or was she just hearing things? She looked around with suspicion in her eyes. Her TV was off, and her laptop was sitting closed on her bed. She glanced around once more, and then shrugged it off. She was probably just tired; she hadn't slept well the night before due to nightmares about some sort of hospital where the doctors were trying to kill her. 

She told Dan about it and he said it was a sign that someone in her life was going to get sick. 

“I’m rooting for Papa,” Jol giggled. Dan laughed, and then fell off his bed, if the big thud was anything to go by. 

“Me too, hope the stinky old bastard rots!” Dan exclaimed through hysterics. Jol gasped.  

Her mama yelled at her from the kitchen, so Jol clamped a hand over her mouth as she continued to snicker. 

After what felt like a lifetime, they said their goodbyes. 

“I’ll see you tonight, Jolly! We made a nice batch of glazed-donuts yesterday and they’re about to be thrown out cause no one bought them on discount today!” Dan finally concluded after a while of talking about his ex-boyfriend who he was still in love with. 

“I’ll make sure to stop by tonight when Aafia and I meet up. Bye Dan!” Jol said. 

“Bye babe!”

Jol laid back on her bed and smiled; she’d had a great day. 

―

That night, Jol met up with Aafia at the park. When she spotted Aafia, the bright grin that was directed towards Jol made want to combust. Though it was dark, Jol could still see the other girl’s face under the street lamps lining the walkway that looped around the park. Jol smiled at her and walked forward. Before Jol could do anything, Aafia had her wrapped up in her arms and was placing a small kiss on Jol’s cheek. 

Jol’s face was suddenly a thousand degrees hotter, and she felt like she was burning from the inside. 

God, Jol was so gay. 

Aafia released her, and they walked side-by-side down the walkway until they reached their usual spot. There, they sat down on a blanket that Aafia brought. This time, Jol brought a camping lantern so that they didn’t have to use their phones to see each other, though she didn’t turn it on right away. First, she looked at the stars.

Laid back on the blanket, with Aafia next to her, Jol felt content. She wished she could’ve stayed in that moment forever. 

Neither of them broke the silence for a long time. It truly did feel like the moment lasted for a lifetime. 

Jol shuffled her hand closer to Aafia’s. Aafia brushed her hand against Jol’s. In the dark of the night, they held hands and wished upon the shooting stars.