06 

JOL KESANDU NWANI WAS dying inside, and it was all because of Aafia Toma’s smile. Jol was eating a pastry at the bakery, getting it all over herself, and Aafia was laughing at her. Jol scowled with false annoyance; she loved Aafia’s laugh, and the way that her smile lit up the room. 

“You have something on your cheek!” Aafia said. Jol tried to wipe it off. “—no, your other cheek! Jol, here, just let me—” Aafia used her thumb to wipe off the brownie crumbs on her cheek. Jol was sure that Aafia could feel her blush. Aafia grinned in a smug way that Jol hadn't seen before. Now she knew that Aafia could feel Jol’s blush. 

“Aww, you’re—” 

“Say it and no more hugs,” Jol said. Aafia giggled but didn’t continue. 

It had been almost a week since the day they went shopping, and it had become a regular thing for Aafia to hug Jol and kiss her cheek every time they greeted each other, and every time they said farewell. 

Jol was catching feelings fast and she didn’t know how she felt about it. 

Dan offered Jol and Aafia cookies fresh out of the oven. Jol eagerly ate hers, but after one bite Aafia looked at the cookie in her hand and frowned. 

“I don’t like it…” Aafie mumbled with guilt crowding her voice. Jol smiled at her.

“It’s okay, I’ll eat it. Don’t worry princess.” Jol took Aafia’s cookie from her hand and ate it in three bites before Aafia could protest. To be honest, it was a little burnt. “There, no more waste.” Jol smiled again. 

Aafia exhaled. Jol watched the tension leave her body. 

“I didn’t want to waste it…” Aafia trailed off. Jol put her arm around the other girl’s shoulder in a comforting manner. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I ate it, and it was good, though a little burnt. Did you not like the nuts?” Jol waved bye to Dan and steered Aafia out of the bakery. 

“I don’t like nuts.” Aafia was pouting. 

Jol found it cute. She told her that. “You’re cute when you’re pouting, princess.” 

“No I’m not!” Aafia whined. Jol chuckled and made sure the black-haired-girl was on the inside of the sidewalk as they walked; the girl was clumsy. 

“Yes, you are. You are very, very cute,” Jol whispered in Aafia’s ear. This time it was Aafia who was blushing. 

“Stop it…” Aafia quite obviously did not want Jol to stop. 

“In fact, I find you exceptionally beautiful, Aafia Toma,” Jol went on, still whispering in the other girl’s red-tinted ear. 

Jol didn’t know where her confidence came from, considering Aafia usually turned her into a pile of mush, but Jol liked it. 

“Did you know…” Jol began. “...that your smile is so gorgeous that I almost trip whenever I see it?” Jol whispered, her lips pressed against Aafia’s ear. She felt Aafia shiver. Jol grinned and nipped at her ear with her teeth before continuing to walk down the sidewalk. On the outside, she looked aloof. On the inside, her mind was nothing but chaos. 

Jol couldn’t believe she’d just done that. 

Aafia was still standing frozen a few feet behind her, her face red despite her brown skin. Jol would have to tease the girl more if this was the reaction she got. 

“You coming, sweetheart?” Jol asked smugly. Aafia jumped and nodded before quickly catching up to Jol. 

They walked back to the park in a comfortable silence. Their hands kept brushing, though neither of them made the move to hold hands. That annoyed Jol, so she grabbed Aafia’s hand the next time it touched hers, and intertwined their fingers. 

“C’mon, princess, it’s almost three, which is the best time to watch the stars for sure,” Jol said. 

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, it’s like scientifically proven and shit.”

“By who?” 

“I don’t know, scientists.” 

They both dissolved into giggles. 

Jol loved hearing Aafia’s laugh. No matter what, it never failed to bring her joy. Aafia never failed to bring her joy. 

Jol was beginning to think that she was falling for the other girl, and fast. 

―

The next day, Jol thought about her thoughts. More specifically, she thought about her thoughts of Aafia. Sorting them out made her want to scream. They’d only met a few weeks ago, but from the start Aafia had captivated her in ways she hadn’t realized. Not until she was looking back on it. Aafia had made her smile, laugh, had brought her joy where there once was none. Aafia was possibly one of the best things to happen to Jol, now that she thought about it. 

Jol smiled into the night. “You’re not so bad when you start making sense, Princess.”  

“You’re not so bad when you’re not grumpy and incomprehensible, Stardust.”  

Maybe it was the drawings, or maybe it was because of the way Aafia was so unapologetically her, but Jol had been a goner from the very beginning. 

How had she not noticed? Maybe she wasn’t as observant as she’d thought. 

Jol flopped onto her bed and groaned, ran a hand over her hair. She thought about calling Dan, but he was usually sleeping during the day. 

“Why am I so stupid?” Jol asked herself aloud. “I should've kissed her last night…”

She thought back to all the nights they’d spent laughing, thought back to all the secret smiles shared in the dark. 

“I should’ve kissed her a while ago, actually.” 

Jol wouldn’t be able to wait until nightfall. For the first ten minutes, she paced. Then, when she got yelled at for stomping around, she decided to go on a walk. 

The walk was calming, the November air chilling her heated skin and the bare trees covered in the sprinkled results of the first snowfall. Jol recalled Aafia’s smile the night before when it had started snowing. The girl had been overjoyed. Jol blushed thinking about Aafia’s smile. 

She once again wondered how she hadn’t noticed earlier. 

She passed a couple on the street with two small children and smiled. One of the children giggled at her and waved. 

Jol couldn’t stop smiling. 

She hadn’t stopped smiling since the night she’d met Aafia, she realized. 

Jol wanted to jump in place, or scream, or both. 

How was it that one person could make her so happy without her knowing? Because Jol was happy, so very happy. 

She hadn’t been this happy since that time at the lake with her papa and Najat years ago… 

Najat had started a splash fight with Jol, and her papa had joined them. Jol missed those days, the happy ones.

But now she was happy again, and Jol hadn’t expected it. She hadn’t expected to come home smiling after what’d happened, nut here she was: smiling again. 

“-help her! She needs-” Jol jumped in place and looked around rapidly. People were passing by her on the sidewalk, their footsteps booming. Jol’s heartbeat echoed in her ears; she was suddenly very dizzy. The world spinned, came back into focus, and then blurred. Her heartbeat got louder. She couldn't breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t hear anything over that voice screaming “HElP!” in her ears over and over again. Jol wondered for a second if she was having a panic attack. The voice continued screaming. 

Instantly the world became very still and very quiet. Jol glanced around in fear before sprinting home.