“Hi can I sit here?” a strange voice popped up in front of me and I looked up to find a smaller man with bright red hair and green eyes, freckles across his nose, and a small gap between his front teeth.
Peering around the cafe I was currently sitting in, I pulled my headphones out and gestured to the various empty tables, “there are plenty of other places to sit.”
“I know but it seemed fun to sit with you,” he shrugged, “I’m Tom.”
“Cool. Go away,” looking back down at my textbook, I held in a sigh.
Why am I being rude?
I just don’t want attention on me.
I don’t need friends.
“Um… your name’s Sparrow right?” Tom tilted down to try and catch my attention again and I shot up, looking into his eyes.
“How do you know that?”
“We’re in the same statistics class. I sit behind you every day. And every day Mr. Dennis makes the joke of us being twins since we look so alike.”
“Ah,” I nodded, “yeah I’m Sparrow. Is there anything else I can do for you?”
“Share your table?”
“No.”
“Well… alright. I’ll see you tomorrow then,” he shrugged and fixed his bag, walking to the door of the cafe before looking at me again, “tell Casey I said hi.”
“How the fuck do you know my boyfriend?” I shouted after him.
“He’s mine too,” Tom winked and left the cafe.
What do you mean by that?
He’s yours too?
With a groan, I gathered up my things and rushed out of the cafe, heading back to my apartment, my thoughts trapped on the fact that Tom claimed that Casey was also his boyfriend.
Reaching my apartment, I threw myself down on my bed, grateful to have a place to myself. I was from a small town in Idaho and had graduated high school a few months ago. It was currently two months into my first year of college here in Berkley, California, and I was planning to major in business and minor in literature so that I could take over the bookstore and cafe that my parents owned when I moved back to Idaho. My older brother Callum went to college at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia and our older sister Violet was in Korea, teaching English to children at a primary school. My fathers Shiloh and Kai were now alone, but happier than ever, traveling around when they would close their businesses for a few weeks every six months.
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I took it out to find a text from my cousin Orion.
-O: AERO WHY THE FUCK HAVEN’T YOU CALLED?!
-S: Ori chill. It’s a weird day. What’s up?
-O: You promised that you’d help me decide which dress to wear to a party tonight. You’re my best friend.
-S: We both know you’ll pick the one that barely covers your ass. The one you’ve been hiding from Auntie and Uncle for years. Stop asking. I’m having a shit day, Orion.
-O: What’s wrong?
-S: I think Casey is cheating on me. I met a weird guy at the cafe today. I guess we share a class and he asked to sit at my table and I said no. So he told me to tell Casey hi and when I asked how he knew my boyfriend, he told me that he was also Casey’s boyfriend.
-O: He probably just knows Casey and you pissed him off by being your typical bitchy self, baby cousin.
-S: God I hate you.
-O: Did you use your hormones today? Uncle Shi said you’re not picking them up like you’re supposed to.
-S: I promise you I am. I just forgot last week because of stress.
-O: Why are you even going to college? Uncle Shi didn’t graduate and he runs the bookshop better than Uncle Kai does.
-S: I just wanted to get away for a little and Vi did so good and so is Cal. I don’t want to get left behind. Besides, I was tired of getting treated like I’m fragile. All because of what happened in high school.
-O: We’re from a tiny ass town. I hate to say this, but it’s not that surprising.
-S: Oh yeah everyone gangs up on the little gay trans boy. I am hardcore rolling my eyes at you if you can’t feel it in Alabama.
-O: I can. Anyway, I’m sure things are fine with Casey. Make sure to use your T, take off your binder, and study okay? I love you.
-S: Yeah I love you too, Ori.
Throwing my phone down onto my bed, I groaned again and sat up, tossing my shirt onto the floor, and taking my chest binder off. I grabbed a sports bra out of my dresser before laying back down and putting my arm over my eyes. The entire reason I was able to rent an apartment in my first year of college came down to the simple fact I was female-to-male transgender and my parents wanted me to feel comfortable enough to be myself without facing possible harassment in the dorms. I was scheduled to have my top surgery in the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of college, and I was beyond excited. I was going to also be having a hysterectomy but I had decided against the phalloplasty for now. Having a vagina didn’t make me feel as if I was any less of a man and after many talks with my uncle Connor, he later explained that he had never had a phalloplasty either, feeling it was better for him this way. He stopped struggling with body dysmorphia after meeting my Aunt Juniper who only ever validated his identity. I was praying that this would happen for me but so far, I hadn’t been open about it to anyone but my family and my boyfriend Casey. We had gone to high school together and came to Berkeley for college, wanting to stay together as well. But, the longer we were out of Idaho, the less he seemed interested. He still occasionally referred to me as his girlfriend, constantly misgendering me, and I knew that he did it on purpose in the hope that I would simply decide I was a girl. But I had been born a boy, even if my body hadn’t realized it. When my father Shiloh heard that Casey still did this, he begged me to end things but I hadn’t due to the fear of being alone.
My phone started to ring once again and I answered without checking the caller ID, “Hello?”
“Aero?” Casey’s voice came through.
“Oh hey, babe!” I sat up, excited.
“Hey. Um…”
“Did I miss the time we were supposed to go out tonight?”
“No, I… I forgot I have to study for a small quiz tomorrow and…”
“Oh. Well… that’s okay,” I chewed my lip, my heart sinking, “it’s been a while since I’ve seen you and we live on the same street finally.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you baby girl… oh um… baby boy.”
“Yeah… you always say that.”
“I promise. Who is my sweetpea?”
“I… I am,” I smiled.
“Yep. Always. I’ll give you a call before bed okay? I promise to take you on a date this weekend.”
“Okay… I love you, Casey.”
“Yep. Me too,” he hung up and I stared at the screen for a while, my tears slowly falling onto it.
Not only did he misgender me.
He used someone else’s nickname.
I was never his sweetpea.
I’m Buttercup.
My tears slowly increased as I sat there, my heart breaking as I realized that I had been correct. Casey was cheating on me. That had to be the truth. I knew that a relationship I had started at 16 would probably not stand the test of time, but I had been hopeful. Now, I simply felt foolish.
For the third time in less than an hour, my phone vibrated and I picked it up to find a text from an unknown number.
-UN: Sparrow? It’s Tom.
-S: How the hell did you get my number?
-UN: Look don’t worry about that right now. I’m trying to help you!
-S: You already stole my boyfriend, what more do you want from me?
-UN: Casey isn’t my boyfriend but I am trying to set him up so you can catch him with that brunette who sits in front of you in statistics. She’s a friend of mine. Her name is Ichika. Apparently, Casey never told her that he was dating you. She saw you out together and wanted to confront you until I told her I knew you’d been together for a long time. I saw it on your FaceSpace. I wasn’t stalking I swear. I just think you’re really attractive and I was curious so… anyway! Look, he’s taking her to Thai Basil tonight at 6. You have an hour to get ready and be there if you want to confront him. You deserve better, Sparrow!
-S: Why should I trust you?
-UN: I just want to be your friend. You’re really smart and you seem interesting. I swear. I just didn’t want you to get hurt. I thought it was best to tell you the truth.
-S: Then why did you tell me Casey is your boyfriend?
-UN: To put doubt in your mind. I knew it’d be easier to show you the truth if you were already doubting his faithfulness.
-S: So you played me?
-UN: A little.
-S: You’re fucking unbelievable. Fine. I’ll be there.
-UN: Great. I’ll meet you there at 530. Dinner is on me.
-S: No.
-UN: Sparrow, please…
-S: You can meet me there and if things go bad, then you can buy me dinner. I don’t want Casey to think I’m on a date.
-UN: Well… okay.
-H: What’s your full name so I can save your stupid contact in my phone?
-UN: Thomas. Thomas Adrian Williams. Just call me Tommy.
-S: No. I’ll see you in an hour, Chip.
-T: Why are you calling me Chip?
-S: Because you’re tiny like the little teacup in Beauty and the Beast.
-T: Fine then. See you soon, Eeyore.
-S: HEY!
-T: You started it.
Sighing, I climbed out of bed and got ready to head out again, deciding to leave my binder off as my chest hurt and simply put on a large white t-shirt, black jogging pants, tennis shoes, and a jean jacket. Grabbing my wallet and apartment key, I slipped them into my pocket and grabbed a beanie, heading out the front door once I felt ready.
I knew that I would reach Thai Basil far earlier than Casey and this girl Ichika as my apartment was only a 5-minute walk from the restaurant but what I hadn’t expected was to turn the corner and find Thomas standing outside, talking to someone on the phone.
“Yeah, Daddy I’m fine,” Thomas sighed, his back to me and I did my best to hide the fact I was listening to his conversation, “I’m already in my third year. I’ll be back with you and Dad before you know it. Well… no I don’t really want to work in the clinic. I know… I know… Look, I promised Uncle Jace that I would come work at the high school. You know I wanted to teach. Yeah, you’re always proud of me. How’s Kenzie?”
He has two dads too?
Huh.
Interesting.
“Well yeah, she went to Japan when I was 10 of course I miss her.”
A sister overseas?
I don’t like how similar our lives are…
If he’s from Idaho I’ll break something.
“No. I don’t like it here as much as in Indiana. I promised I’d leave the city as soon as I graduated. I remember what you told me it did to Dad. I won’t make the same mistakes. No, I don’t think my sister is a mistake. Ugh. Killian, I swear. Right. I know. Never call my parents by their names blah blah blah. Look, I’m helping someone I really hope will be my friend. I think he’s a bit younger than me, we weirdly look a lot alike, and he’s super grumpy on the outside but I think it’s to keep people from getting close. He seems like a nice guy who could use a friend. I have to go, okay? Okay. Love you,” Thomas hung up and stuck his phone in his pocket, his auburn curls falling across his face.
Thomas had been right about one thing. We were incredibly similar looking. We both had bright red hair, pale skin, and freckles, but where his eyes were a beautiful emerald, mine were honey brown. I was taller than him at 5 foot 6 which meant that Thomas was no taller than 5 foot 4, making him adorable for someone who was clearly in his early 20s.
“Hi,” I called softly and he turned to look at me in surprise.
“You actually came!” Thomas rushed over happily and I took a small step back, “Sorry. I have issues with personal space.”
“It’s fine,” shaking my head, I leaned against a wall, looking at the ground, “So… how did you find out about what Casey was doing?”
“I told you,” he stood next to me, staring out at all the people walking by, “he’s been dating my best friend behind your back. She’s also my roommate. I’m not stupid. I’ve seen you together on campus and in the library. I put two and two together. I did my best to protect you from Ichika. She really wanted to kick the shit out of you.”
“Why did you bother?”
“Because underneath the moody, grumpy exterior, I think you’re a good guy. I wanted to be your friend.”
“Even if I’m 19? You’re what… 22?”
“Huh? No. I’m 19 too.”
“What the fuck?” I looked at him in shock, “I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop but I heard you tell your Dad you’re in your third year when I walked up. I…”
“I graduated high school really early and came here. I’m 19, Sparrow.”
“Huh… um… okay,” I fidgeted with my sleeves for a minute, “I…”
“Shh,” Thomas pulled me into the restaurant and to a small table in the back.
“Dude what the fuck!” I hissed at him.
“They’re here,” he whispered, keeping his gaze on the table and stopping me from looking.
Oh.
Thomas was right then.
Fuck.
Comments (2)
See all