Yuko couldn’t think of anything to say to explain herself. She just closed her eyes and leaned forward an inch to press her forehead against their chest, feeling the gentle thud of their heartbeat against it. It was unbelievably soothing. A huge sigh escaped from her before she could stifle it. Raph gathered her even closer and rested their chin on the top of her head. She had no idea what happened next. They were waaaay off-script.

“How’d you do that, for real?” she finally asked in a slightly congested voice, genuinely curious.

“Just basic reflexology. Your body did it, I just helped it push past a couple of things that were in the way.”

“I think you can take a little more credit than that. I walk around on these feet all the time and I’ve had some nice foot massages in my life, and that never happened before. No wonder all the yoga MILFs call you the TILF.”

Raph made an impatient sound. “I actually wish they would stop calling me that. It’s getting old.”

Yuko laughed. “You know already? How long has this been going on, exactly?”

“How could I not know? I have ears. They aren’t very quiet about it. I don’t know how long. When did people start using that expression?”

She leaned back far enough that she could see their face. “A long time ago, Raph! Seriously. Like eons ago in meme years.”

“Well, it’s been a while and I wish they’d cut it out, because the giggles really ruin my concentration in hot yoga class. Someone even tossed a note in my yurt yesterday. It wasn’t you, was it?” Raph asked, hopefully.

“Sadly, I didn’t think of it, so no,” she laughed. “Wow. This is amazingly life-affirming! I’ve got a crush on the hot teacher and for once in my life, we’re both legal adults and they actually like me back. If you’re not about to friend-zone me for crying all over you on the first date, that is. At least you’ll be really nice about it, I guess…”

Raph looked at her, their expression serious, which really brought out the hot in their face. Everything did, honestly. They had very pretty eyelashes and the kind of plush bottom lip people wrote songs about using acoustic guitars—it had the little dent and everything. “You know, I hate that expression. You’re already in the ‘friend zone’ or I wouldn’t want to have sex with you this much. I don’t sleep with anyone who can’t even make it into the friend zone.”

She poked them in the ribs. “That is… so wholesome. Are you real?”

“Last I checked. You should confirm it, too, though, just in case. Thoroughly. Leave no stone unturned.”

“That is less wholesome. But more fun.” Yuko put a hand on Raph’s chest and pushed them onto their back. “Where should I start checking?”

“Anywhere you want. Any. Where.”

Yuko dragged the hem of Raph’s soft black t-shirt upwards exposing just so many things she wanted to examine more closely. The drawstring waist of their pants rode low, exposing a good portion of each hipbone, and between them began the gentle swells of ab muscles that continued upward until they disappeared under the raised hem of their shirt. Yoga certainly did a body good. Maybe she should take it more seriously. Their bellybutton was one of those cute half-and-half numbers where one side was innie and one side was kind of outie. Oddly charming and somehow fitting. 

Raph’s skin tone was warm and creamy and there were freckles sprinkled on their torso as if someone had run their thumb over a paintbrush and had scattered random flecks of paint all over. They came in every shade of brown and gold. Yuko pushed the shirt higher. More freckles per inch in the new territory. A fluke? A trend? One way to find out. Straddling them, she pulled their shirt up with both hands, and they obligingly took it from her and pulled it the rest of the way off themself, eager to be helpful, clearly. Raph threw the shirt a few feet away from the bed. 

Then Yuko saw the tops of their shoulders. The freckle motherlode. Oh shhhiiiit… she honestly did not know that she had a thing for freckles until that moment. She definitely had one now. She reached out to pet them a little.

“I really like your freckles.”

“Oh. Those are from kayaking. Those freckles have gotten me in a lot of trouble with my mother for not wearing enough sunscreen. It’s very difficult to actually prove that you were absolutely wearing and reapplying a very high SPF sunscreen per manufacturer’s instructions, by the way.”

“Well, the freckles are making me feel some type of way right now.”

“That’s good. The more things you find to like about me, the better, as far as I’m concerned, and if you like freckles, I have a reliable draw. I get new ones all the time.”

“There are so many things to like, though.” Yuko braced her hands on either side of their torso and leaned forward to brush the tip of her tongue over the center of their top lip. Raph parted their lips and she slipped her tongue inside to taste them again. They even taste good and wholesome. She sighed, happily this time, as she kissed them more. Their hands were holding both of her thighs, squeezing as if they were fighting to keep them from doing other things. Hell with that. She lifted her head a bit.

“Raph?”

“Mmm?”

“You know how you said that I could touch you ‘Any. Where.’?”

“Mmm-hmm,” said Raph, eyes slightly glazed, evidently having a hard time making conversation.

“Well, you can touch me ‘Any. Where.’ too, ok? Annnnnywhere.”

Raph’s hips lifted a little at this news, and through the soft, drapey fabric of their clothes, Yuko distinctly felt the tip of their erection pressing against the curve of her ass. She wanted to feel the heat of it, too. There were way too many clothes staying on. She needed to fix that.

Yuko sat up and pulled her yoga top off and reached for the zipper at the top of her yoga bra. The yoga pants weren't going to be far behind. She wasn't going to be satisfied until the yoga clothes trifecta was crumpled up on the floor. “Are you sure you’re ready for this? I tried to tell you, ok?”

Raph nodded solemnly, looking like they wanted to laugh. She really hoped Raph didn’t think she’d just been blowing air up their skirt over these. She’d never shown them to anyone of any gender or trait or sexual orientation who hadn’t been gobsmacked by them. She’d waited until the bruising and swelling were mostly gone before she did the big reveal for Nachelle, Nachelle, whom she’d spent quite some time mentally preparing, and Nachelle had taken one look and cried and hugged her and said “If it was anybody else, I would kind of hate her, but YOU deserve those. Lemme touch ‘em at least!” Being generous of spirit, Yuko had welcomed a friendly feel-up.

Raph was similarly setting themself up for a fall. Sure they were politely playing along, but they didn’t believe yet. Was this how they felt when she flaunted her crystal-denier status? They ran their hands up and down the tops of her thighs. “I don’t think it’s possible to be ready for you and your class V rapids, Yuko. Just take it off and we’ll see what we’re dealing with.”

On your head be it, Raph. She unzipped the bra and, with a casual shrug, let it fall behind her. Sure enough, even with a few creases on her skin from the sports bra to slightly mar the overall unreal perfection, Raph’s eyes lit up like the “Hot Now Donuts” sign at a Krispy Kreme. They sat straight up, scooting backwards slightly, almost dislodging her before they reached out to grab her upper arms and steady her. “OH my god, these are insane, holy sh… So beautiful. These are like… Hellenistic. They are literally flawless.” Raph said, sounding a lot less wise and metaphysical than they had before and a lot more like a normal, horny person.

“I know!!” Yuko said with a little excited squeak in her voice. And a little bit of smugness in her smile.

“Is there a laser matrix protecting them? If I touch these, will an alarm go off? Are they fully insured by Lloyd’s of London?”

“No booby traps here!”

Raph’s head fell forward on a massive coughing snort. Shoulders shaking, “I…walked…right…into that one!” they laughed. “I don’t know which gets me more, the perfect breasts or the lightning quick terrible joke which implies you are an experienced terrible joke teller. So much so that it’s that automatic? I can’t wait for the next one. What a time to be alive!” They lifted up their head and there was a stray tear of amusement sliding down one cheek that they wiped away with a palm. 

They’d closed their eyes and lowered their head to laugh in the presence of the tits instead of launching themselves onto them like an animal? The Girls were a blessing and a curse in that regard—they’d always made instant, ardent admirers of the people who’d been invited to touch them in a romantic context. They were conversation killers for sure, though, so this mannerly response was unheard of. Yuko grabbed Raph’s head and pulled them down to her face for a kiss, palms pressed against their cheeks. They liked her terrible jokes! Maybe even more than her tits. The reaction to the joke had lasted longer than the reaction to her boobs, at any rate. Amazing. The twin touchstones on her chest had finally found pure gold. Maybe there was something to this crystals and energy shit after all.