We all sit down. Tony and his sister wait patiently for me to take a bite of the chapati and mbuzi stew. I take a piece of the chapati and wrap it on the stew and chew it. The flavors all hit me at once. Tender and delicious. I don’t say anything else but focus on the food and ignore them. Satisfied by my reaction, we all enjoy the food and drinks together.

Afterwards, Christine asks me to help her with the dishes and sends Tony to get more drinks. Tony tries to argue but his sister doesn’t back down. After he leaves, I join her in the kitchen and help scrape the food off the plates before stacking them in the dish washer.

“You like my brother don’t you?” I almost drop the plates I’m holding when I hear her. “Of course not… wait...yes..I mean I like him as a friend...not that like...I am not...he is not…” the words just comes out all fumbled up. “Relax, I don’t bite. I am asexual so I’m part of the community. I don’t know about my brother though. Tony is a human version of a golden retriever, he spreads love to anyone and everyone. But I do know he deserves a good person who will not take advantage of his big heart and use him. He deserves a win this time after too many bad relationships.” I believe her, the few months I’ve known him, I’ve felt soo many emotions that I never knew I had in the first place. “You don’t have to worry about me ever hurting Tony. He means soo much to me that you or anyone will ever know.” I say admitting not to her but to myself as well. Christine just smiles and fist bumps me.

“What are you guys talking about? Did I miss anything?” I spin around to see Tony behind me with more beer and a puzzled look. It doesn’t seem like he heard our talks which is a relief to me.

“oh just telling our friend all your embarrassing things you did as a kid hehehe” she runs to her room. Tony stands there not sure if he should chase after her or deny everything she told me.

We spend the rest of the evening talking, laughing and drinking beer. Tony refuses to let me drive myself while drunk and insists I call someone to take me.I call Kaylah and give her the address. Kaylah is more than happy to come and fetch me since she has been dying to meet Tony for awhile now.

Christine has changed to shorts and a sports bra and is on her way to play basketball when she opens the door and meet Kaylah on the footsteps.

Kaylah looks up at her and opens her mouth to say something to Christine but she closes it.

“Hi there gorgeous, here to steal me away from them?”She asks Kaylah. Tony throws a pillow at her. “ Quit harassing my friends and just leave already Christy!” Christine looks down at Kaylah, winks at her slyly then bids us goodbye and walks off talking to someone on the phone. I know the look clearly on Kaylah’s face. It’s the same look I got when I saw Tony for the first time. I smirk to myself and remind myself to tease her later on about it.

“Please excuse my sister, she can be a bully sometimes but she doesn’t mean harm. Hi, am Tony, am Seo-Jun’s friend. I’ve heard a lot about you” Tony extends his hand to her which she shakes and introduces herself.

Tony insists we stay longer but Kaylah insists she needs to be someplace else but came to bring me home. I know for certain she is freaking out and needs a moment to think alone.

After our farewells I get into the car and we drive back home in silence.

“Want to talk about it Kay?” I’ve known her for the longest time possible and I know she will try to deny and ignore what she doesn’t understand.

She sits down on the couch and laughs. “uh huh, its not like that Seo, don’t go there, I was just dumbfounded, that’s all”. I decide not to push it and change the topic. Several days after that, and I continue hanging out with Tony. Even though am still aloof and distant in the office, I start to open up a little to those around me which comes as a surprise.

Tony has now been working with us for almost an year. Its mind blowing how days go by so fast. I still remember vividly the day when we first met at the elevator. I still haven’t confessed my feelings to him and I don’t think I will ever do so. Having him in my life is more than I could ever hope for. The fear of losing him as a friend is more than the notion of him having the same feelings like I do. It’s Friday today, there’s a new restaurant that just opened in the next town and I really want to go with Tony so I text him what time I should pick him up after his gym session. I wait for his text back while mentally preparing myself for our date the next day.

“Hey man, I don’t think I’ll make it tomorrow, David the new guy at the gym just asked me to help him move furniture to his new place tomorrow and on Sunday too. Let’s push it to next Saturday, bet?” I read the text again trying to remember who this guy is. I remember him telling me that he made a friend at the gym but I didn’t think they would be that close already. A little jealous, I reply back stating its fine and that there were things I needed to do anyway tomorrow.

I go back home and the next day I decide to call some friends to meet at our usual joints. It’s been a while since I went out with these friends. I wouldn’t call them my friends just acquaintances that you keep close for connections and corporations.

I spend the whole day pretending to be interested in their talks and turn down their requests to hook me up with a few lady friends they know. I keep drifting to what tony could be doing with his new friend and for a split second I worry if I’ll be replaced. I push away those thoughts and try to be happy for him for making new friends out of work place.