Sun, Jan 2, 2:46 AM
──────────
“Cee? Hello?”
crying from the other line
“Cee? Cutie? Hey, talk to me, what’s wrong?”
more cries, softer now
“… T-there’s something wr-wrong with m-me.”
“Cee baby there’s nothing wrong with you.”
“T-there i-is though!”
“There isn’t, baby. Just because there’s something different going on with you than others doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”
“…”
“Now, can you tell me what’s got you so upset?”
sniffles, silence
“… M-my—”
the other line dissolves into sobs
“Hey, hey, shhh… It’s okay. What happened baby?”
“M-my m-m-mom called a-and—”
more crying from the other line
“Shh… take a deep breath for me, okay? I can’t understand you, darling.”
“…”
“That’s it. One more?”
“…”
“There you go. Feeling better?”
“Uh-uh.”
a muffled snort from Orion
“I’m sorry darling, you just sounded cute. Can you explain to me again what happened with your mom?”
“M-my m-mom called a-and kept talking about h-how a friend a-at church h-had a s-son come out as g-gay and the t-therapy w-worked great and s-she was so g-glad I-I’m n-not a-a—”
more intense sobbing from Cee
Orion sighs sadly
“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry. That isn’t right at all and I’m so sorry that you still have to deal with that…”
“N-now I’m just s-scared for w-when I c-come out to h-her as w-whatever I a-am…”
“That’s completely understandable baby. You just gotta know that you are away and free of them, and there’s nothing they can do to hurt you.”
“B-but t-they’ll t-take away m-my siblings…”
“Then maybe you do it in person and explain it to them beforehand, so they understand? Not right now, obviously, but when you’re ready.”
“T-that could work…”
“Yeah? Well, Oreo and Noodle are both nuzzling my phone. They send their snuggles.”
“Aww… Just sweeties.”
“Yeah, and Frank is somewhere—”
“Stop calling her Frank!”
“I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
“You—”
“What? It worked. Cats make everything better.”
“Maybe you just make everything better…”
“For you.”
“That makes you perfect for me, you know.”
“Only if you’re perfect for me too.”
“Deal.”
“Deal. So, you feeling well enough to hang up or do you want to keep talking?”
“… Keep talking…”
“Okay, so today I was talking to Zhara and—”
Sun, Jan 2, 9:22 PM
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“Hey cutie!”
“Hey Ori! How’s your day been?”
“It’s been good. How have you been doing?”
“I’m doing better, I had dinner and watched some movies with Aldar this evening.”
“That sounds fun. I’m glad you’re feeling better, you had me worried.”
“I’m sorry, I’ve just been confused.”
“Don’t apologize, you hear me? It’s not your fault I care.”
“Ori… thank you.”
“Care to talk about it?”
“I’ve just been questioning things a lot recently. The online forums say to take my time and to accept myself but I’m just so frustrated.”
“Hey, that’s completely understandable.”
“I know, I just… I just feel like a fraud because I’m turning 20 soon, I should’ve had this all figured out by now.”
“Your identity is no less valid because it’s taking you longer to figure it out, okay? Everyone moves at their own pace.”
“There’s people that figured out they’re trans at 6 because they didn’t want long hair, and I’m here just so confused… I feel like I’m faking it.”
“You’re not faking it, Cee. Maybe you’re confusing identity and expression, and maybe you’ll realize later on that you aren’t what you thought you were, but that doesn’t make you any less valid. Okay?”
“Okay…”
“Right now, you’re feeling what you’re feeling. That is going to change in an instance, but it doesn’t make your feelings any less real, right?”
“I guess so, yeah… I just wish I had it all figured out already. It’s so frustrating not knowing.”
“I know it is, sweetheart. My best advice is to experiment, find out what you like and don’t like. Like, I like dressing feminine sometimes, that doesn’t make me any less non-binary. I don’t owe anyone masculinity, or androgyny. And you don’t owe anyone anything either.”
“Thanks Ori, you’re right. I’m just scared I guess.”
“It’s perfectly normal to be scared. Hey, is there anything I can do that will help things along? Like call you more masculine things, call you more feminine things…?”
“Umm, maybe more masculine compliments? I like the… I like the pet names though.”
“Noted. Well, sweetheart, you are very handsome and we need to facetime again soon so I can see that amazing face.”
“Oriii you know I blush!”
“All the more reason to video call me so I can see it.”
“…Thanks, by the way. We haven’t known each other for long, but you’ve become important to me.”
“Of course, CC. You’re important to me, too.”
“… Have you ever wondered what stars taste like?”
“I’m assuming you couldn’t get close enough to try without burning to a crisp.”
“Ori!”
“Like superman ice cream and the color purple, maybe.”
“I always thought they’d taste like something everlasting…”
“Sometimes I wanna finger-paint on the sky. I think it would be cool.”
“If only dreams were tangible…”
“If you could do anything right now, what would you do?”
“… I don’t know, drink a milkshake?”
“How adventurous.”
“I’d find you and give you a big hug.”
“Aww, CC… I’d do the same.”
“Whereabouts do you live, anyways?”
“Like a couple blocks west of the arts building, around that area of campus. You?”
“Funnily enough, I— the art major— live across campus from the arts building.”
“Damn that’s a walk and a half if you don’t got a car.”
“Yeah it is. I got a piece of shit named Gertrude that’s still chugging along, though.”
“Gertrude? Really?”
“Hey, it suits her! Don’t insult Gertrude!”
“I’m sorry, Gertrude. I did not mean to insult.”
“She says thank you.”
Orion laughs
“God, you’re adorable.”
“Not God, just me.”
“I-”
muffled laughter from Orion
“…I’ll talk to you later, CC.”
“Bye bye Ori.”
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