---------------Warning Triggering events are present in this chapter read at own risk--------------------

It was dark when I entered the memory as if it was still blocked off to me, it wouldn't be hard to dispel the dark but I needed to keep as much intack as I could, so instead of dispelling it I walked through it till I appeared in an allyway, the sun was out but the ally was still draped in darkness.

I could hear crying further in the ally as if it was calling out for someone anyone "Sam?" I walked towards it and the closer I got the darker it became, this must be what he's been hiding, humans prefer to hide their darkest fear rather then facing it and becoming stronger, this is why I can never accept them.

But that thought was soon pushed aside as I saw him, he was younger, much younger then he is now, his naked body was curled up in a ball as he wept, his sobs loud yet no one came to the sound, I saw that he was covered in mud and blood, he was hurt, but who hurt him.

I lowered myself to him, I placed a hand on his back that had been facing me "Sam? Who did this to you, can you show me" there was no answer but the ally morphed from its darkened state to a bright ally, one you'd feel safe in and I was again at the opening of the ally, a dumpster hid half the ally but was still close enough that any sound coming from behind it would be easily heared by a passerby.

"Stop"

The words were loud, they almost made me look behind myself but I knew it came from behind the dumpster, I needed to see what was happing but I could also feel his fear, he was so scared but he submitted to the mans demands, because his fear was not of what was being done to him but what would happen if he refused.

I needed to save him, I moved as fast as I could to the other side and saw it, my body froze, I couldn't move, it just stood there and I looked into his eyes, his tear stained eyes that looked into mine, as if pleading for me save him, but not me they couldn't be looking at me I wasn't here yet it looked as if he could see me, it scared me, in that moment he was having things done to him, so much I couldn't bring myself to look, I couldn't, I wouldn't he wouldn't want me to see that part of him, that darkness, but then I remembered his words "I don't know maybe I want to stop being the only person who knows the pain" I had to look, I looked and saw it, his body was being cut up, a small knife crossed his body as the man violated him, in every aspect of the word.

His screams silent, a hand covering his mouth, hiding all but his eyes and yet it felt as if my mind was going to explode, his wish to die flooded me and it overtook me, I began to become him in thise moment, his every thought was my own and every bit of pain he felt I felt, I was there and here, I looked into his dark green eyes, devoid of all light and I also looked into my own eyes, that seemed to glow the same red that his own blood radiated as It seeped slowly from his skin.

The man wouldn't stop no matter how much Sam struggled, only he just kept cutting and thrusting till he was done, it felt as if an eternity passed when the memory played out, the man did more to Sam, then I wish to see, Humans were really disgusting creatures, they needed to be whipped from the realms, no one should ever have faced that pain, that much torture.

I was left once again with Sam, his curled up body on the ground, I kneeled down to lift him up, even though I can't touch a memory or should be able to, his body moved as if I was actually there and his eyes were hollow, all the life that was him was gone as if his body lived but his soul had been removed, as if a twisted had left after being done with his flesh and in a way that's what happened, a twisted human used his flesh and when it was done left him drained of everything.

"crimson..." Sam muttered, now that he wasn't in that ball I could hear his hidden words through his sobs "he'll save me"

"who will save you" who was he waiting for, who was he calling out to in his darkest hour

"the crimson eyes will protect me... he'll save me" the words were heavy, he was waiting for me, but he didn't know me, was it my father he waited for, the man had been gone for so long and time behaved so strangley on earth, it's possible that he saved Sam once but, why didn't he save him now, when he needed protecting, why didn't that stupid old man come to Sam's rescue when he still belived he would come even after the it stopped.

I pulled Sam's small shaking body to mine and held him tight, if this was the pain he felt because a reaper failed at their job, if this was what I caused to three whole realms because I was to self absorbed to understand the pain of having your soul ripped from you, then the least I can do is protect this one, who lost his spark and found it again, I'll protect his spark.

"um Jack?" Sam's voice filled my ear, older and not broken, I was no longer in his mind, and now I held him in my arms, his body wasn't as small before but I could still feel the shaking

I pulled away but I didn't let go of him "I don't know what to say" I didn't, what did you say to someone who only a moment ago you saw at their weakest, at the point where they broke so much on the inside that the brokenness on the outside was almost nothing "I saw what happened to you, and it was"

Sam's hand reached for my face and stopped me in my tracks "it's okay, I didn't expect you to understand, if you aren't human than it would be hard I guess" what was he saying, I couldn't see his face that well in the dark but I could tell he was crying, I wanted to stop it, I made a promise

"no" I shouted the word before I could think, his body tensed under my tighting grip "what he did to you is unforgivable, I saw your eyes, he took something from you he had no right to, you didn't deserve that" I didn't know why I was shouting, maybe I needed to, I couldn't in the memory, not when his cries for help was loud enough every shout felt like a wisper

"haha" he laughed nervously "but all humans pathetic, how can you-"

"you aren't pathetic you are strong, stronger than I would be in that situation" we both fell silant, the air felt like lead in my chest, I don't know how much time had passed before I spoke "I felt your pain and I wanted to rip the whole world apart to help but all I could do was stand there and watch as if it was okay to have your soul crushed"

Sam was probably looking at me strangely, of course he would be, I don't know why I was so angry, hell why was I angry at all, I'm a reaper we don't have the ability to feel anything, yet since being without my powers all I do is feel these stupid feelings and now here I am shouting at a boy about why he shouldn't discount the very emotion I am feeling despite telling him how I see all humans, but not him, hes not pathetic, hes strong

"I ended the lives of three realms, all those people felt like you, their souls were crushed and ripped from them, being in your memory I understood how it felt, I could feel what you feel and all I could think was how I caused an uncountable amount of people to feel just that way, I caused that" I couldn't stop shouting, my face was hot and wet, my eyes blured "I didn't want to save them because I saw them as worthless and yet I could have saved them all but now I see you, and I saw it happening to you and all I wanted to do was stop it but I was powerless to stop it"

My words failed me, I failed myself, I felt my body give in to a sickness that had been rising and I shook uncontrollably, is this why humans can't do what a reaper does, their minds can't handle the pain of others without braking down, because now I am human, I'm no longer a reaper, this body has changed.

I felt hands grab my face pull me forward, it was messy and wet, but yet the action itself was tender, Sam's lips touched mine for a moment but that moment was all it took for me to feel his own tears falling down his face, we were both crying.

"you wanted to protect me" his words shaky as he spoke "you didn't find me disgusting or think that you wanted to get away from me" why would he ask that, who would do that

"n- no" was all I could manage through my uncontrollable sobs

"Than you saved me" his words were strange as he pulled me into an embrace.