[5 days before the incident].

[15:30]

My boring university class was finally over, and I could've escaped back to my safe place, home sweet home!

As I walked out of class, my senior, Ethan, called my name, "Diane!"

I turned back, reacting to his voice. "What's up, Ethan?"

I stared at him, observing him a bit as he walked towards me, wearing a light blue shirt with a white t-shirt underneath and jeans.

"Do you still have class?" He asked with a gentle smile on his face.

I raised an eyebrow and replied, " Nah!"

He got pretty excited. "Really?!... Then, shall we have a cup of coffee together?"

I thought to myself, "You're too obvious with these naive questions, Ethan..."

And then I answered, "Sorry, I've got works to do, so~..."

I walked through the hallway, and Ethan followed me and whined, "You have time for a coffee~... Why do you keep rejecting me?~"

"Eh~... Because you have a crush on me, don't you?..." I glanced at him, unfazed and noticed that his whole face turned red...

"I~... do~..."his gaze fixed on me, completely serious but shy at the same time, and we stopped in the middle of the hallway. "Would you give me~... a chance?~..."

"Nope," I rejected instantly...

Then he said in shock, "HUH?! That was Fasttt!... Why?!..."

+"I'm busy as hell, Ethan. I can't cooperate with you as a girlfriend... "

-"I don't care... I'm also busy, but we still can hang out from time to time, right? I don't want to pressure you... I can do as the way you please..."

Honestly, for a brief moment, I was swayed by what he said. 

If you carefully considered my situation, you'd understand how tempting that offer would be!

First, my mind is filled with Ashley, and I couldn't have gotten her out of my mind yet, so I need something to distract me...

I can't carry on these feelings forever...

Second, I've been single for such a long time, and I need to relieve my pent-up desires.

It is well known how many times I wanted to jump on that innocent girl. 

I can't use Lily that way... She's such a precious soul...

Third, he won't act clingy and do whatever I want?... hmmmm~~~... 

"Okay, then," I replied impulsively...

He was dumbfounded by my answer, "What?!... How is that you can switch this quickly?!... Are you mocking me?"

"Don't you want it? We can cance~..." as I was talking, he cut off my words and shaken his head, "I do want it!... Ah~... So, are we dating now?~"

I nodded and said, "Let's call it a get to know each other session. Do people refer to this as a situationship?... Now get me my coffee. I need to rush home..."

He shouted excitedly, "Yesss~ Let's Go!!"

And I smirked... 

~

[At the "Moonbucks" coffee shop] [16:06]

As we got our coffee, we found a table next to the window overlooking the street. 

Ethan asked before slurping his coffee, "Em~... What's your favourite hobby?"

+"Sleeping" 

He choked on his drink and coughed, "ehm~... haha... Your hobby is way casual, unlike you."

+"That's sarcastic." 

-"I meant it in a good way!..." 

I took a sip of my coffee and glanced at him as he was fidgeting a bit nervously and didn't know what to say. Then I broke the silence and said, "Well~... I like music and games..." 

His eyes twinkled, "That's awesome! I also like games..." 

...

As we were talking for a while, my phone's notification sound got my attention. I looked at my screen and saw Lily's message. 

[Diane, I'd like to thank you for suggesting that me for that job. I'll have the interview on Monday. Wish me luck ♡"

A sudden mystifying emotion swept over me...

...Lily... 

What should I do about her?...

Is she going to think I'm weird when she finds out about this, dating someone while liking someone else?

At first, I thought whether she had a crush on me or just wanted to mock me by knowing who I like, but none of them was true...  

Also, she only needs me as a friend, so she shouldn't mind if I date someone else, right?...

I'm not sure why I'm so conscious of her... 

I've been walking on eggshells around her since she's extremely emotional, and I didn't intend to hurt her...

By the way, I'm still afraid of what will happen if we get too close to each other...

...

"Diane?!..." Ethan's voice broke me free from my thoughts... "What happened?" He asked.

"Ah!... Sorry. I need to go back!... Thanks for the coffee, Ethan." I got up and stormed out of the coffee shop after this...

-"Heeeey!... Diaaanaaa?!~"

~

[At home] [16:55]

As I walked into my apartment, Faith was standing in the kitchen with a glass of water in her hand. "You're back?..."

I answered awkwardly, "Yeah."

She squinted her eyes and asked, "What's wrong with you again?"

"Nothing" I stepped into the bedroom to change my clothes.

I could feel her eyes on my back as I walked away, watching me with suspicion. Faith followed me into the room. "Spill the beans!"...

I huffed out of frustration. " Ethan asked me out, and I kinda accepted him..." 

Faith stared at me with a poker face for a moment and said, "Are you cheating on Lily?"

"Huuuuh?!..." I glared at Faith, "We're not dating!... Woah!... Wait a sec!... How do you know I'm not straight?!..."

-"Oh, come on!... I know you more than you can imagine, Dee! And it's obvious that Lily likes you!" 

I was done changing my clothes and approached Faith, "Huh?! You're a witch, seriously! Plus, I thought like that at first, but I was wrong!" 

She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "And how did you come up with that conclusion?" 

I paused for a moment and then muttered, avoiding her gaze, "She told me that she just wanted to be friends with me. That's all..." 

"I don't think so, Dee... You're going to hurt her feelings if you don't talk to her, honestly..." Then she turned around and walked to the office room. 

I sighed and followed her, "Then, what the hell am I supposed to do?!... I can't simply accept her just because she likes me or whatever!... "

Faith looked back at me, "Gosh! You and I never click! Just do whatever you want!"

After that, we didn't talk and just worked in silence...

My situation has frustrated me...

Although I wanted to solve everything, it seems that I'm complicating it even more...

And I really don't know what I want as if I got lost in the middle of nowhere...

I wish I had disappeared completely...

"Damn it!"...

~

[The incident day]

[19:15]

Today, I invited Ethan over to my house to see how compatible we could be in bed and relieving some stress and energy...

As Ethan got in, he grabbed my waist and pulled me close. His lips found mine, and we kissed passionately. I led him to my bedroom while we were taking off our clothes hurriedly.

We fell onto the bed, and I felt his strong body against mine. He started kissing my neck and lips again as his hands explored my body. However, something felt so wrong there. My heart and my body creeped out...

Unconsciously, I pushed him away and sat up, my heart pounding in my chest nervously, and he then asked, "What's wrong, Diane?!"

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do it~" I muttered anxiously...

He replied as he held my hand, surprised, "Did I make a mistake?"

I pulled back my hand and got off bed, "No!... It's just~ ... that I think~... This wasn't a good idea~..."  

"It's okay. We can take it slow..." He stood up in front of me, trying to touch my face, but I backed away.

"I'm going to the bathroom!" I left him and walked to the bathroom awkwardly... 

Taking a look in the mirror, splashing cold water on my face, and trying to wipe my heavy thoughts away from my mind, I mumbled, "I'm going crazy!~..."

~

[19:50]

As I stepped out of the bathroom, I heard the doorbell. "Who was that?" I asked and walked to the doorway. Then my gaze fell on Lily's as Ethan stepped back with a puzzled face. 

At that moment, I was frozen in my place, and the only thing that came to my mind was, "It couldn't be worse!"

Lily's face could've been seen awash with shock, with her eyes constantly flickering between me and Ethan. She then shoved coffee cups and a pack of doughnuts into Ethan's arms and ran away...

"Lily?!..." I rushed toward the door and called her name a few times. However, she didn't stop. 

Ethan asked, "Diane?" 

"I apologize, but you need to leave." I said and walked back to the bedroom to get some clothes on hurriedly. I stepped out of the building after saying a quick goodbye to Ethan and got into my car, searching for Lily...

~

[20:07]

Finally, I found her at the bus stop nearby after searching for a while. I pulled the car over and got out. "Lily!..." 

As Lily lifted her head and noticed me, she said, bewildered, "What are you doing here?!~..."

I stepped close to her, completely pissed, "Are you seriously asking this?! Why would you run away like that? Making me worry!!!..."

She averted her gaze and answered with a low tone, "I'm sorry~ I didn't know you had a guest~ I shouldn't have come without calling you..."

"Let's go back and talk!" I grabbed her wrist, making her get up, but she snapped her hand away. "I'm going home! I don't wanna bother you two!!!" She yelled. 

"He's gone... So just come with me..." I sighed.

"No!..." she glared at me.

I raised an eyebrow, frustrated. "You've got nerves, huh?!" Then I bent down and wrapped my arms around her knees, making her fall on my shoulder and lifting her up. "I'm sorry, Miss Lily Miller, but I'm more stubborn than you!" 

"Aaaahhh~... let me down!~..." she said, panicking as she was hitting my back lightly with her fists... 

I walked towards the car without answering and pushed her into the seat, then shot the door at her. 

~

As we returned home, we both silently slumped on the couch awkwardly...

Then I broke the silence finally and said, "Sorry that I shocked you~..." 

Lily's head was down, staring at the floor...

I continued, "Em~... We~..."

...Shit... I can't talk... My heart is jumping out of my chest!... 

"Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend?" she asked. 

"Because I don't have a boyfriend," I replied.

She lifted her head up and stared at me, annoyed. "Then who was that boy?"

+"He's one of my school's seniors, and it's not even been a week that we decided to get to know each other, so technically, we're not dating yet..." 

-"But you two~..." she swallowed her words.

+"This is a bit complicated, Lily... I~... em~... I needed to~..." I muttered.

... Why am I trying to explain myself to her?...

-"Have you gotten over Ashley already?" Lily stared at me with curious sad eyes, which made me even more nervous...

+"No... Yes... I don't know~... I'm trying to~..."

-"How can you date him when you still have another one in your heart?"

I flinched at her question... I knew that she'd asked something like this!...

+"I told you before... I'm not that emotional person." 

-"But, this isn't only about you... It feels as if you're taking advantage of him. You just want to date him so that you could forget Ashley, right?"

+"He knows what kinda person I am. He made an offer in return for me accepting his confession, and I accepted. It was a win-win."

She clenched her fists as her expression became gloomy, and after a pause said, "I'm disappointed in you..."

I got goosebumps all over my body. "What did you just say?" I asked in shock...

.

.