The admiration and heated desire Julien had for his guard at the Capillary hadn’t dissipated as he’d thought on their journey back to the estate. Nor did it fade away when Julien called for the human Dom for a night of sex and feeding. The human, who went by the alias, Kane, wasn’t someone Julien regularly sought out. Kane had a ruthless and intense energy that rivaled a vampire’s, one that Julien wouldn’t put past him if he had a weird fascination for consuming blood.

But besides his intimidating aura and ability to quell Julien’s insatiable desires, Kane had similar features to Rowan. With dark hair and sharp features, in the haze of feeding and sex, Julien could almost picture his guard beside him. Well, a more emotive and carefree one. 

While Julien enjoyed sex and feeding with Kane, the buildup to those events made Julien reach out to him. Something about his domineering foreplay spelled the perfect distraction from Julien’s racing thoughts. Under Kane’s thumb, he could forego those silly fantasies of his guard, even if just for a night. 

Kane started with light sensory play, utilizing the ropes he used later as restraints to tease Julien’s skin. He dragged it down his bare stomach, pinning Julien’s legs beneath his as his hands gripped his dirty blonde hair. 

Julien hissed and flashed his fangs as Kane’s fingers scoured his scalp before tracing the crook of Kane’s neck. “At least give me a taste first.”

“Patience,” Kane chided, gripping Julien’s wrists and bringing it above his head. With ease, he slipped the rope around his wrists, securing it to the bedposts. “You know how this works.”

“I’m hungry,” Julien said. “Feed me.”

Kane shushed him with a bruising kiss against his neck; his body flushed with the prince. If Julien wanted to, he could lean forward and take his neck in his mouth for a feed, but with Kane in charge, Julien knew better than to take what he wanted. He’d have to wait patiently and eventually be rewarded with whatever he desired. 

Kane moaned against the base of his throat, sending goosebumps down Julien’s chest. He parted, lifting his wrist to the prince. “Only a little. Save some for the main event.”

Julien couldn’t disagree with that, knowing the feeling of feeding from a mortal was a hundred times more satisfying while having sex. He slipped his fangs into the tender wrist, gulping down Kane’s blood for as long as possible. He almost whimpered as Kane pulled away, silently urging Julien to close the wounds. He did so slowly, wondering how much trouble he’d be in if he got a second taste, but Kane could almost read his thoughts, pinching his stomach before Julien could convince himself the punishment was worth it. 

Julien hoped that it would’ve elicited a reaction from his guard, but he remained there beside the dresser as stoic as ever. Either way, he knew Rowan was still observing and analyzing every move; he’d interfere when he knew it was needed. And yet, Julien wished he’d interfere a little too early, a sign that maybe it was bothering him more than he thought. 

Kane blocked his view of his guard before he could let any fantasy get wilder than necessary, reaching for the candle on the bedside table. “I was thinking something a little more heated.”

“Wax play?” A curious smirk danced on his face. “You’ve never done that before. You sure you’re qualified?”

Kane raised a brow. “Don’t trust me, prince? That’s not how this works.”

Julien gripped the restraints on his wrist. “Wouldn’t want them to murder you for using the wrong type of wax, would we?”

“Rest assured; this wax will only sting a little.”

Julien hummed. “Just a little? I’m no stranger to pain, Kane. You can be a little rough with me; you know that.”

“I do,” Kane drawled as lit the candle, carrying it above Julien’s exposed chest. With a hitched breath, Julien arched his back anxiously, waiting for the tilted candle to melt the wax. “But you must be patient, prince.”

Julien’s eyes flashed red, his vampiric features exaggerating as Kane teased the prince.

Something about how the wax hit his tender flesh heightened Julien’s senses. Aside from the rope digging into his skin and being beneath him, being at Kane’s mercy felt invigorating, almost like playing with the concept of mortality, feeling more like a human under a vampire than the other way around. 

Despite being bound to a bed, Julien could enjoy the chase of taking this mortal’s blood, even if the power wasn’t in his hands. He’d have the blood and sex soon enough, but when and how was up to the mortal. Something about it was more exciting than his other night partners, who’d extend their necks as soon as they walked through the door.

The red wax continued down a steady line toward his belly button, eliciting a hiss as Kane rolled his hips above him. 

If being withheld blood wasn’t enough, Kane’s weight and sultry look in his eye as he continued to pour wax could have driven any vampire mad. 

It wasn’t until Kane’s hands gripped his neck that Julien had to refrain from begging. Even without vampiric strength, Kane held the power—Julien’s life in his hand. Fire pooled in his lower half at the feeling of being at someone’s mercy. 

But as Kane readjusted his position above him, Julien’s eyes trailed to his stoic guard. Even from a glance, Julien could suspect something was amiss at how eerily quiet he had been. Surely, he would’ve offered to interfere, even silently asking if Julien needed assistance. 

Rowan’s lips were parted as his eyes glazed over. It could’ve been the hand on Julien’s throat, but this wasn’t the first time someone had done breath plays with him. But as Kane held the lit candle above him, Julien could spot Rowan’s discomfort immediately. His hands that had remained at his side trembled before he crossed them in front of him. His shoulders were tense, and if Kane hadn’t been so loud, he was certain Rowan’s breaths were also shaky. For a guard who typically showed little emotion, it seemed someone had replaced him. 

As confusion about Rowan’s reaction shifted to concern, Julien could hardly focus on the human above him. More of the wax dripped onto his chest, but as a few drops spilled onto his cheek, Julien’s attention shifted back to Kane. The candle’s flame illuminated the space between them, dancing in Kane’s eyes. 

The pressure of Kane’s hand held Julien in place, at the complete mercy of the wax drippings, but the image of Rowan’s tense face made Julien wish to say his safe word—even if only to check in with his guard. Something about it didn’t sit right with Julien, and no amount of sex or feeding would distract Julien enough. 

Once Kane had the decency to remove his grip on his throat, Julien lifted his head. Between heavy breaths, Julien called out, “Rowan?”

Julien preened his head when there was no response, but Kane’s body blocked his view. “Ignoring me? Is that any way to treat your Dom? Forget him, I’m providing you with what you need.”

Flashing his fangs, Julien shifted beneath him in a futile attempt to push him off. With his wrists bound, it did little to nothing. 

“Untie me,” Julien said with coercion. He scowled as it took Kane longer than necessary to untie his wrists before sitting back. He rubbed them before glaring at Kane and gritting, “Leave.”

Kane scoffed. “We’re not done here. We’ve barely begun.”

Julien’s eyes flashed purple as he snatched the candle from his hands. “Leave. Or I will tell them you made an attempt on my life.”

Kane scrambled off the bed, hastily grabbed his belongings, and was out the door before he could properly get his clothes on. 

Not bothering with his clothes, Julien slipped out of bed to approach his guard. The candle’s wax dripped onto his hand with a mild burning sensation, but that was the last thing on Julien’s mind as he noticed the increased tension in Rowan’s stance. 

“Rowan?” Julien wasn’t sure he was looking at the same vampire.

“You’re shaking,” Julien said. “What is it?”

“Nothing.” His words were hoarse.

“Do not lie to me. You are trembling.” Rowan’s eyes wandered to the red-speckled mess on his chest. “Is it the wax?” 

In a dissociative state, Rowan shook his head. 

Julien blinked. “This isn’t like you.”

Rowan didn’t trust his words enough to speak.

“Rowan, are you afraid?”

Rowan’s piercing eyes lingered on Julien’s for a moment before glancing at the candle in Julien’s hand.  He knew it was a simple candle, but the image of Julien being covered in hot wax with a dangerous flame above him did nothing to ease his fears.

“Fire,” Julien said, his eyes staring at the dancing flame. “You’re terrified of it.” 

Julien was more observant than Rowan had given him credit for. Before Rowan could explain to Julien that he would be fine—he had to as his guard—Julien blew the candle out, setting it aside on the dresser beside him, before turning to Rowan.

“Rowan.” Julien reached for him but hesitated at the sight of Rowan’s shaken form.  “Rowan, I’ve blown it out. It’s gone.”

Though Rowan knew that, the wax along Julien’s torso was a glaring reminder that he couldn’t escape his past. No matter how hard he wished to suppress it, his father’s face as he set their house aflame wasn’t something he could forget, even over a century later. Why could he remember his but not his mother’s face?

“Rowan,” Julien tried again, closing the gap so his hand hovered above Rowan’s cheek. Rowan reared his head back, finally forcing himself to focus on the situation before him. The worry on Julien’s face was enough to close off all emotions, returning that steel-cold facade. It only made Julien frown further. 

“It is nothing.”

“It doesn’t seem like nothing. Why wasn’t I aware that you fear fire?”

Rowan focused his attention on stray askew hair atop Julien’s head, hoping his mask would suffice. “I should not fear anything as a guard. It was just a memory.”

“A memory? Enough to scare the living shit out of you?” 

Before Rowan could respond, Julien shook his head. “Rowan, I’ve known you for years. That was not you reminiscing. That was full-blown panic—that was…was like me when that one prick nearly choked me to death. Or when that other bloke threatened to stake me to the bed.”

“It was just a candle,” Rowan said, but Julien wondered if he was convincing himself. “If that is all, I shall retrieve someone to ensure he returns home safely.”

Rowan barely made it a step away before Julien gripped his upper arm. “We aren’t done talking. Be honest with me, Rowan. You’re afraid of fire.”

Rowan blinked and remained silent for a moment. “Yes.”

“Thank you.” Julien’s words surprised him, but Rowan steeled his expression. “I trust you with my life. All I ask is that you trust me enough with this too.”

The prince’s concern confused Rowan, but it wasn’t the most unusual thing he’d said before.

“This…” Julien faltered. “This is what the safe words are for—not just for me, but for you. Had I known, I would’ve never allowed it in the first place.”

“It was just a candle,” Rowan repeated.

“Which was making you uncomfortable.”

“It is fine.” 

Julien bit back a rebuttal. “I trust you remember our conversation about thinking of one yourself—a safe word.”

“Of course.”

“Good,” Julien gritted out. “Get some rest—dwell on it, or don’t. I’ve frankly lost my appetite.”

Rowan lowered his head. “As you wish.”

As the doors shut behind him, Julien couldn’t help but feel more distant from Rowan despite learning something that vulnerable about him. There were too many questions the more he tried to dig deeper into Rowan’s past. But if Rowan wasn’t privy to tell Julien anything, then it was possible Julien would have to look elsewhere—if only he knew where to start.